The Only One I Could Ever Love [Sanegiyuu]

5: Struggles..

Sanemi's POV:

(cursing -most likely-Mention of Suicide, )

My heart drops at the questions and I feel nauseous from anxiety. This doesn't go unnoticed by Obanai. I struggle to find the correct words as Obanai's eyes pierce through me. A gasp of realisation hits him and sparkles appear in his eyes. "WHO!! WHOS THE LUCKY GIRL!!??" He screams of excitement nudging my arm multiple times.

A wave of sadness hits me. I didnt know what to say.. I wasn't ready to tell and loose my closet friend.. I sigh and stand up which confuses Obanai extremely. I walk away without saying a word and no word was said to me either..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I find myself on the edge of the same cliff Tomioka was last night. But, I'm not here to jump.. It was kind of far and was a peaceful area. I needed some fresh air and time to think. The peaceful sounds of nature flood my ears and I feel the wind blow through my hair. I feel calm here.

The sounds of footsteps behind me slightly make me more awake. Its not any danger, Theres a wistira tree just a few feet behind me. Plus, I recognise the footsteps. They were soft and delicate, showing that whoever it was, did not mean any harm.

(the fact the Sanemi probably memorised peoples footsteps because of his father :( )

I feel a slight smile creeps up my cheek as I quickly know who it is. Re-adjusting my posture slightly I try to act normal as they sit down beside me on the cliff, which does make me slightly anxious.. Since what happened the other night..

"Hi." Tomioka speaks softly as I try hold back a smile. "Hey.." I answer back as we both seem to fidget with something. The sounds of nature surrounds us as the wind continues to blow the flowers of the wistira tree that is planted not so far away. I turn to Tomioka and without thinking I reach over to him, plucking a piece of wistira flower that landed in his hair. I hold my breath as we stare into eachothers eyes for a little while.

"Long night, huh." I finally speak turning back away letting out a small breath. "You could say so." He answers back letting out a sharp exhale. I wont deny it, its very awkward right now. After what I just did especially..

"Why?" Tomioka asks and I turn back towards him in confusion. What. What did he mean?

"Why did you save me..?" A long pause follows as many emotions floor through my head. "Tomioka." I call his name out and he faces himself towards me once again. "I saved you because.." I pause, I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell him how I felt. But. I just couldn't, not yet. "I saw you, standing there on the edge and I didnt know what to do.. I panicked. And just saved you.." I speak nervously.

Placing my head in my hands I hold back any emotion that will make me seem week. Just thinking back to that night makes me want to cry.. He places his hand on my shoulder and I look up making eye contact with him once again. "Thank you" He spoke with a smile planted on his face. He smiled..

I feel my cheeks heat up and I turn away, embarrassed by the situation. "No problem.." I answer back to him. I notice his smile fades slightly. "No. Really, thank you. I didnt know what I was thinking that night.." He spoke playing with his Haori. I go to speak but he continues. "I apologise, that you had to see me like that. It was really unprofessional of me.."

Unprofessional-? Hes obviously gone through something to think killing himself is the answer.. He wasn't unprofessional. "No." I speak trying to hold my anger back. He hums in response. "You werent unprofessional Tomioka. You've been through something. And you didnt know how to handle the situation.. But. You carried on life trying to ignore it. But you just couldn't.." I was speaking from my heart.

I believed that killing myself was the answer once aswell. After what happened with my family. I couldn't bare the never ending pain in my heart. But right as I was about to do it. I thought about Genya. Who would be with him if I was gone. Even if I wasn't the best of brothers towards him.

"S-Shinazugawa.." He spoke with a tremble in his voice, causing me to turn back to him once again. He was crying.. "Thank you. Those words really mean a lot to me.." He smiled through his tears. "Dont cry idiot." I speak as I pull him into a hug. This boy. Made me incredibly soft. I hated it but loved it at the same time.

As I rubbed his back slightly with my hand, he buried his face in my neck and cried. I didnt care. I didnt mind being like this with him.

I love this man so much..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yussss! Another chapter done y'all!

Sanemi got a bit deep there smh :')

864 Words