CHANGE

FIFTEEN

LOUIS

It's just not going to work out Lou, I'm sorry"

...

Louis wakes with a gasp, breathing quick and heavy as he recovers from the familiar nightmare. Every time he has this one it hits him just as hard, the memories replaying and thoughts loud.

He then notices the curly haired figure beside him and does his best to get out from the tangled sheets, kicking his legs furiously in order to escape. He checks the screen of his phone and squints as he leaves the bedroom, the luminous light making him squint, the time reads 6:47. There are also several notifications, messages from Liam and missed calls. There's also an email from Simon's team, concerning his last interview as a solo artist. He chooses to ignore all of these and instead decides to switch off the device.

The apartment is quiet, the only sound that can be heard is Louis' slowing breaths and the patter of his socked feet as he heads down the hall. He can't go back into his bedroom, not while Harry's there, even if he is asleep. It's too embarrassing. So he decides to make himself a coffee to sober up a bit more and try to calm down. A few weeks ago this had been a nightly occurrence, but with his band mates there to distract him more often he found himself sleeping slightly more.

In that respect the band was good for him, it gave him structure, people to rely on. However it could also be seen as the root of his problems, his issues with sleep had begun with the band, he had even suffered from sleep paralysis at one point. But it wasn't until his mental health went downhill that he started having real issues, and that's when his insomnia began to develop.

He leans against the cool kitchen wall as the kettle boils behind him, thinking. He's trying to replay the events of last night in his head, but his memory is vague and his thoughts clouded by the alcohol he consumed. He remembers fighting with Liam, Harry holding him, and asking Harry to stay. That's enough for him to not want to see him again this year. It's not that he regrets it, because in a way he doesn't. It felt so good to be held by Harry again, to sleep beside him and be able to hear him breathing that close again. But it also had a negative effect on him, knowing that the boy wasn't his anymore and this was all temporary.

Louis stirs his coffee and sighs, he hates feeling this way, he just needs Harry to leave now so that he can get on with pushing them all away. But he sighs once again, accepting that he can't exactly kick the younger lad out at this time, and he doesn't really want to either. He would hate to face him right now. He would also hate to wake the man up, Harry was always grumpy when being woke up, loathing having his naps interrupted.

With that in mind he heads towards the studio, planning on getting a little writing done. Might as well be productive. To his surprise though as he sits at his piano, blank notepad in front of him nothing comes to mind. His head just can't seem to come up with anything. He doesn't know if it's the leftover alcohol in his system, or the replaying events of last night, but he doesn't like it.

This is rare for Louis, and not something he's comfortable with at all, it's such an unusual feeling.

He stands up, frustrated, finishing his coffee and quietly sneaks into his bedroom, tiptoeing to his chest of drawers and pulling out a navy zip up adidas jacket and a matching pair of shorts. He also slips on shoes as he leaves the apartment, picking up his car keys as he does so. A drive might help to clear his head.

The halls of the apartment building are quiet as he leaves, most normal people asleep at this hour aside from those heading out to work, but it's a Saturday so there isn't too many of them. He heads down, nodding to the security as he leaves the block. It's not unusual for them to see Louis at this time of morning, they let him get on with it, respecting his privacy.

Louis' car beeps when he approaches it, unlocking as he climbs into the drivers seat. He places a pair of black sunglasses over his eyes, the rising sun shooting pains through his head, hangover coming on strong. There's a sense of calm, the roads are quiet and Louis feels free as drives through the streets of London, blacked out windows hiding his identity.

He finds himself driving towards a familiar building, longing for someone to discuss last night with, who won't judge but also won't smother him, and he thinks this is the place.

As he pulls up at the average sized townhouse he smiles, it's been a while since he's been here and he really should come more. He always leaves feeling much better than when he arrived.

He steps out of his car, locking it as he approaches the door. He really should have called first, after all it is ridiculously early. But oh well, he's here now. He rings the bell, feeling slightly guilty for his early presence and smiles as the door opens, surprised at how quick.

"Louis? What are you doing here?".

"Hey Eleanor".