CHANGE

TWENTY NINE

LOUIS

"And he just accepted that?" Zayn questions, looking confused after Louis explains an altered tale as to what went down with Simon.

Louis had mostly stuck to the truth, that he had told the truth, that it was a bad angle and that Zayn was 'straight'.

He felt awful telling this lie to Simon, but Zayn had been relieved when he heard and this eased Louis' guilt a little. Zayn wasn't ready to come out, especially not to Simon, the homophobe he was.

Louis nods, not wanting to elaborate much more. He didn't want to explain the hold Simon had over him.

Zayn raises his eyebrows before shrugging. "Well...cheers mate, don't think i could have convinced him".

Louis shrugs. "No problem, lad".

Zayn rejoins the conversation going on between Niall and Liam as the lads make their way out of the building, but Louis lags behind.

His head is pounding and he feels like death really. Simon always manages to suck the life out of him.

Harry notices Louis' dull mood and hangs back with him, but he's reluctant to comfort him in fear of overstepping.

He still doesn't really know where they stand with each other.

He hesitantly goes to place a hand on Louis' shoulder, an attempt to ease his mood but Louis slips away, shaking his head slightly.

After what just happened he's not eager to let their renewed connection become known, not even to their bandmates.

He feels guilty rejecting Harry, but he's always like this after encounters with Simon. It's his coping mechanism if you will.

He just needs to go home and sleep it off.

The lads go their separate ways after leaving the office, Louis having called his driver since he and Harry had arrived together.

Harry looks hurt at Louis leaving alone, but more worried than anything. He doesn't like the thought of him home alone, especially not now they know of his coping methods.

Still, he's a grown man. They can't stop him.

So Louis leaves with his driver, the side of his face pressed to the cool tinted window as they drive through the streets of London.

It begins to rain on the way, small droplets splashing onto the car, and Louis finds himself counting which ones reach the bottom of the window first, like he would when he was a child. It's calming.

When they arrive at his apartment block he's quick to thank his driver and head up, eager to crawl into his bed for a while. Even if not to sleep.

He shakes off his damp jacket as he walks into the quiet apartment and removes his shoes before standing still.

After spending the morning with Harry the place feels empty, not like home.

He sighs, going into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. That usually helps him feel slightly better.

His eyes drift to his arms as the kettle boils, falling on the scars littering his wrists.

At times like this, when he feels so numb the urge is great, but not to feel better, no. Just to feel something, anything at all.

He tries to resist as he makes his tea, sipping the burning hot liquid as an alternative.

But in the end he gives in, abandoning the drink for his blade.

As he picks up his weapon his phone vibrates, and he goes to check it, frowning as the name pops up. It seems too professional, he reminds himself to change it before opening the message.

Harry Styles: Hey...you okay?

Louis bites his lip, eyes flickering between the blade and his phone. Eventually he chooses, locking his phone and putting it back into his pocket.

Choosing to hurt himself instead.

...

Louis awakens to his phone vibrating after managing to nap for an hour in his bed.

He groans before answering, not checking the caller ID.

"Hello" he mumbles.

"Louis, it's Harry. Sorry- you sound tired, did i wake you? I was just ringing to see how you were".

Louis chuckles as Harry stumbles over his words, leaning his head against the headboard of his bed.

"Yeah i'm fine, sorry yeah i was asleep".

"Shit sorry" Harry stutters. "I didn't realise".

Louis shakes his head before realising Harry can't see him. "It's fine don't worry".

After this morning their conversation should flow easier, but if anything it seems more awkward. Like they were when they first started dating.

Suppose that could be a good thing, like a fresh start together. One where they know what's coming at least.

"You heard anything else from Simon?" Harry questions, knowing the man will want to cover this up as quickly as possible.

"Just a text saying he's sorted it, oh, and I'll be asked about it in my interview tomorrow".

Tomorrow was Louis' final solo interview, the plan was to answer some questions and drop a few hints about the reunion.

Now Simon was using it as an opportunity to put things straight. Louis was anything but, but this was the only alternative.

"Hm" Harry replies. "How're you feeling about that?".

Louis pulls a face, contemplating it.

"To be honest...not great, H. It took me so long to become comfortable in my solo career, y'know? It kind of feels like he's ripping it away from me".

Harry sighs on the other end of the phone, wanting nothing more than to drive over there and hug Louis, reassure him that everything will turn out fine, that his career is not over.

"I know, baby, but you're so successful, don't forget that. And you'll have your solo career back before you know it".

"Not as successful as you" Louis mumbles, laughing slightly to try and brush the comment off as a joke.

Harry frowns, "Lou, you sold out a world tour, did millions of pounds worth of charity work, released a phenomenal album and saved lives".

Louis shies away from the phone, cheeks flushing.

"Not to mention..." Harry continues, "Everything you've been through...much more than the average man".

Louis bites his lip, once again realising how much he loves this man, how much he wants to be in his arms all of the time.

"Come over, please" he whispers.

"You read my mind, love".