Secrets, Lies, and Summer Skies

Chapter Eight

It took me a little longer to get up the stairs that night. Not only because my ankle was still sore, but also because I needed time to process what had happened.

The first thing to hit me was the sheer devastation of being turned down so abruptly by Grayson. If he'd rejected my advances with no physical contact, it would've been easier to brush off than it was after he'd touched me so intimately. I'd sat alone on the sofa as the minutes ticked away, thinking about what might have been if he hadn't cruelly snatched my pleasure away when he'd left the room.

Of course, this soon gave way to a feeling of shame.

In a way, I could understand what Grayson was feeling. He was a family friend and had known my father since long before I'd been a part of the world. After all, the man was twice my age, and that had probably crossed his mind when he'd pulled away. It had to be difficult to decide which feeling was stronger; our attraction or the loyalty he felt to my dad. It was admirable that he wouldn't want to hurt him, but sparing him any pain was at the expense of my needs and feelings. Whatever Grayson did, it would leave someone upset.

It seemed that he'd decided that someone ought to be me.

I left my shoes by the couch and, by the time I'd closed my bedroom door behind me, I realized how stupid I must have seemed to him. Grayson was a great catch no matter how I looked at him. He had a steady job, his own home, he was smart, funny, sexy as hell, and could have just about any woman he wanted. I was just some college drop-out with a cheating ex-boyfriend and irresponsible friends who got me into trouble. I didn't even know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, I'd only gone to college because it was what everyone expected me to do. Sure, I liked all my classes well enough, but I didn't know where I might use Art History in the real world.

For a while, I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at the wall. I could hear the shower running down the hall. I imagined it was a cold one if Grayson was trying to calm himself down. That, or he was taking care of himself in there and hoping it would be enough to get any impure thoughts out of his system. If only it was that simple for me. Every night since I'd been back, I'd touched myself to the thought of him and it still wasn't enough. No matter what anyone said, it was no substitute for the real thing. Sure, now I had a little more to fill my imagination with, but it would only make me yearn for his body.

Well, if Grayson was so determined that he didn't want me, then I couldn't do much about it.

I needed to put him out of my head, and that meant getting into bed and forcing myself to sleep without so much as picturing him naked, which was a challenge.

The first thing I needed to do was to get out of my stupid dress and throw it in the trash. I never wanted to look at it again. I'd known when I bought it, it wasn't my style. If Jenny hadn't insisted, I'd have left it on the rack. Now it was just a reminder of what had almost been, and I found I hated it even more.

However, taking the dress off was far more difficult than getting it on. I'd used a hanger to hook the zipper on the back and do it up. If I'd gotten ready at Jenny's house, she'd have fastened it all for me. As I stood before my mirror and twisted my body and arms, I realized with no small measure of horror that I couldn't get out of the stupid thing. It was too tight to wiggle out of without undoing it and, short of taking a pair of scissors to it and hoping that I didn't cut myself by accident, I was going to have to ask for help from the only other person in the house.

It was that, or I slept in it.

I'd probably suffocate in the stupid thing with the way my night was going.

I summoned my courage and headed carefully down the hall. My ankle certainly appreciated the lack of heeled shoes, and I was barely hobbling by the time I reached Grayson's door. He had shut the shower off, but I couldn't hear anything else in the room.