𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐎𝐧 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡☼︎ | 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐟 | 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡

Chapter seven (Taehyung POV)

It's been 3 months, months since i ran away,  months since i hurted him, months since everything fell apart, no really, i thought coming here to New York would be a good idea maybe but who knew that i wasn't, it isn't.

Luke has been busy trying to find jobs over here, he barely gives me time, he leaves at 8:30 and comes back- i don't know when, if i ask him everything is ok and when did he came he back he gets angry that why would i ask such quetions even after knowing that he does a night shift, well that's not it, i just care for him, can't i do that.

I have making efforts, i make his favourite food but he sometimes ignores it and when he have it, he never compliments, it feels like my efforts aren't worth it.

Is this how Jungkook felt? When i literally never appreciated his efforts, he used to bring my favourite flowers but i never complimented them, he always checked wheather i had food, if i was ok and wasn't forcing myself on anything related to our wedding, he never made me feel uncomfortable around me, he flirted but he knew his limits, he touched me but not in a wrong way.

Things have been so weird lately, i always want to text him or call him, i always wait for his messages even after knowing that i blocked him,, i kinda sometimes miss him, it wasn't like this when i was in korea, it was totally different, things were different, i never used to wait for him like this, but maybe somewhere i knew that he would be there standing on the door holding carnations.

He knew everything about me, my favourite ice cream, birthday, frienxs family, most importantly my favourite flower which was shocking because i hardly even told anyone that i loved carnations, maybe luke doesn't even know it, luke never bought me flowers.

No doubt Jungkook has been a gentleman since the day i met him, he never made me feel like i need to fear him because he is a mafia, he never showed off his power, the power he holds, it might seem like i didn't notice, but i saw the people getting quite and scared after they saw Jungkook entering the restaurant some of them even left, i saw the other boxers stare at him with fear in their eyes, i saw my parents talk to him, with so much respect as if he is the man who rules over the country, well he kinda does but he returns it in a same way, and i love those things about him, he is never scared to shoot people, to kill them, but if you are nice he can be a little ray of sunshine, the only thing that feels weird is, didn't he try to find me, there is no way he can't because bruh he rules over, he is one of the most powerful and dangerous man in the mafia world, never in million years i would believe that he couldn't find me, did he even try? Or he just let me go? I am sure he did, why didn't he came to take me with him? He really left me to make me happy, just because i could be happier?

I am selfish, i clearly am being a fucking selfish person, i have read about him many times, that he can kill you in a blink of an eye, he is a heartless man, the day you mess with him, that would be your last day, but in our case i was the one who is cruel, heartless, selfish. I couldn't be more selfish, i left him on his bithday, on his very precious day, but there was no other way.

I hate the way i ended up messing everything for Luke, who isn't even trying to do any efforts, Jungkook could have been better, thought he is a mafia, he kills people but he is a man of hearts, he is everything that anyone could ever ask for, as compare to him i am a useless person who really played with him.

And the fact that he is letting me be happy, however i want to, Did he fell in love with me? I don't think so, but he would never let a person breathe for a second if s/he tries to mess up, and look what he did to me, stupid boy.

Should i be happy or sad, happy becausd he is let me go and live with the love of my life or sad because he could have been a better choice, am i regreting? I should not be doing that. Hell, the only guy that confuse me is Jungkook, like every single fucking tims he just makes me so confused about everything, my feelings, my decisions

Do i regret running away from him? Well no i don't really regret it but in some ways i do, i really do regret hurting a pure man like Jungkook, he used to treat me lot better than luke but the fact is i love luke more than that luke loves me too and i alreay betrayed him, hurt him, that too on his really special day, he could have been the best person in my life if i didn't run away but i did and luke isn't really spending time with me.

My thoughts were interrupted by luke entering, so i went to hug him, but he pushed me away "taehyung, i am not in a mood" he said as he went upstairs not even sparing a glance at me, see that's why i have been hating the way he is acting in front of me, i should be his first priority, he should be treting me like that just like i treat him, why should i be the only one who is making efforts for our relationship, i hate everything after i came New York because, luke does go to some parties, he gets drunk, like so much, he has time to go party hard making me worried but when i tell him to go on a little date, he is busy, i know New York is an expensive place, but, he should party less and go on a date with me, but no, he didn't even kissed me nor hug me for once, but Jungkook did all that, though he was busier than him, but whenever he had time he would just come to me, that time when i went to his boxing place, he was busy, he had 10 minutes break, he could have rest, he could have just went to boxing alone but he didn't, in those 10-15 ninutes he had, he came to me that too with my favourite flowers.

I was just too selfish, Jungkook could have treated me better, even after being a fucking mafia, i was his only priority, even after the way i ignored him and his efforts, he was too good to be treated so badly like i did, i regret it, i should have told him, i hate myself for that, we could have been in good  terms but we aren't, because of me.

𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩

»to be continued«

Okayy! I am late sorry for that, i didn't do the corrections this time so there would be extra extra mistakes, sorry to disappoint, ignore the mistakes, the another chapter would be kinda same, but Jungkook's POV, but imma tell you chapter nine would be emotional yet cute maybee.... thats it thankyouu! love you all ;) 

-Rach