TW: mention of suicide, self harm, and some fighting
(Charlie's POV)
I've been up for a few hours, Nick was holding my hand while I was sleeping. Why was he here? "Nick..." I shook his arm he woke up instantly and hugged me "Charlie you scared the shit out of me. You know how much I love you. Please never try that again.." he laid his head on my shoulder and cried a little. "Try What again. What happened. How long was I out? Why are my arms so itc-" I looked at my arms and notice. Oh. Did I relapse? "You were out for a week. I got lucky you aren't in a mental hospital. You relapsed. And you tried to uhm kill yourself." He frowned some. "Oh I'm sorry." I held his hand. He was still holding me. I love him.
Nicks mom brought us home my parents went out for a week or so. I don't mind them being gone. It means nick time. But me and nick were fighting. I guess I relapsed over him calling me friend and mate. "I'm glad I can come home with you char." Me and nick walked into my house. My birthday was while I was in the hospital. I don't know why no one visited they all cared. I hope. I think. We walked to my room and I screamed a little. It hurt to scream. "There's presents omg." I clutched onto nicks hand.
We sat together on the bed nick put the presents on a chair next too us. He handed me some small ones. All squishmellows i've been wanting they were all from Aled, Tao, Elle, and Isaac. Nick handed me some from my family. It was just clothes and some things I wanted like books. I've never had this many presents. It's all because I almost died. Isn't it? Nick got up and went to my closet and grabbed lots of presents. He's always gotten me valuable
Presents In a low quantity? Why so much? "Open this one first!" He handed me a small one with pink and white wrapping. I ripped it open. Oh. Oh my. It was a picture of me, nick, Darcy, Elle, Tao, Tara, and imogen. I kissed nick. I love him. It was the best thing ever. He handed my 2 boxes I opened them. My mouth fell open. "NICK." I stuck my nails into his arms "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU." Both the boxes had some jumpers I've been wanting. There was a big bag full of some things. It was a few bottles of vodka I could tell they were new. He knows I like vodka but also don't. It taste bad but it's calming when you're stressed. There was also some lemonade mixes for the vodka.
It's been a few hours. It's officially me and nicks one year anniversary. He kissed me. He moved his hand up my body. It feels weird. I feel comfortable without him but I hate my body. It's horrible. "Should we stop char?" He pulled his hands off me. "N-no I just got cold." I smiled at him. It was kinda fake. I did want to continue. But I was scared he didn't love my body.
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I feel so calm writing these thank you for all the support. <3
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Heartstopper
FanfictionCharlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more...?
