Heartstopper

Part 18

Another chapter taken out of Nick and Charlie because I'm so tiredddddd but I'll finish it myself.

Charlie's POV

Aled was right. Nick and I are literally two idiots.

We spend the whole day talking about us and what it's going to be like when we're longdistance and it honestly only makes me believe even harder that we're going to be ne,that everything's going to be okay.

Everything is going to be okay. Seriously, this time.Fuck this university thing. It really messes stuff up, doesn't it? God.Nick drives me back home, but I tell him to drive to his house instead. I text Victoria thatI'm staying over his. She'll explain to our parents.

And it sounds really silly but we stay up late just talking and browsing the Internet andwatching videos and talking again, laughing, dozing off. I wonder what it'd be like to havea whole life of this. I think it'd be pretty great. Not gonna lie.

And then one minute we're lying there and the next we're kissing, and it's not like this isanything particularly new, but it feels new, it feels different somehow. I guess I don't wantto make this too romantic or anything. At the end of the day, it's just kissing, but... I don'tknow. How is it that this still makes me so... how have two years gone by and I still feel like this in his arms?

We kiss for a long time, like it's two years ago and we're on Nick's lounge sofa trying to watch a lm. Impossible. I can't think about anything else when he's running his hands sogently through my hair, across my back, over my hips. Suddenly he's pulling my T-shirtoff and laughing when I can't undo his shirt buttons, I'm asking if he wants to and he'ssaying yes before I've even nished my sentence, he's undoing my belt, I'm reaching into his bedside drawer for a condom, we're kissing again, we're rolling over, obviously youcan see where this is going..

I don't know if it's because we're feeling especially emotional, or we're just tired, or thesepast couple of weeks have been too much, but – and this is gonna sound really weird –this time reminds me so much of the first time we had sex. We were both fucking terrified.

That rst time was so bad. So bad it was kind of good. Does that make any sense?We're scared this time for a different reason, I can tell. I could pretend that we aren'tscared that we're approaching the end of this, of us, but that would be a lie.

Nick touches me like he's scared that any minute I could disintegrate forever. Whenwe're nally completely undressed he just stops and stares like he's trying to memoriseevery second of this. When we're moving he keeps saying my name over and over until Ind it too ridiculous and tell him to shut up, but he just grins and keeps on saying itanyway, whispering it against my skin just to make me laugh. I hold him so tight againstme, as if that'll keep us here, keep him here with me. I used to think I was pathetic forthinking dumb, romantic stuff like that. I don't any more. I just keep thinking it. I keepwanting him here. I keep wanting him to stay

Afterwards we lie there for a while, Nick's head on my chest and our legs entwined. Ireach over to his bedside table and turn the radio on, noticing that it's gone 3am – howdid that happen? I close my eyes because I think Nick might be asleep, but several minuteslater I hear a click and open my eyes to a d he's taken a photo of us lying there, this timeon his phone.

"Nick!" I grab his phone and check the photo as he laughs gleefully.

"Nothing like a post-sex candid."

I don't reply because I'm just staring at the photo – it's like the ones he took on his Disposable camera, natural and un-staged, Nick curled against me and smirking up at the camera, my head leaning on his, my eyes shut and mouth slightly open.

"Don't delete it," says Nick.

"I'm not." I look at it for a second more, and then hand it back to him. "Don't put it onInstagram."

"Can I set it as my wallpaper?"

"What, and get rid of Henry? Do you finally love me more than your dog?"

"Mmm, that's going a bit far..."

I roll over, shoving him off me and flipping us so I'm lying on top of him. "Rude."Nick laughs and wraps his arms around me. "Okay, fine, I love you more than mydog." I smile. I love nick more than I love anyone before this. Nicks my love, the love of my life. Nick kisses my cheek. I'm glad we aren't fighting anymore. I missed him. I always miss nick either way. We kiss a bit longer