Fate. A predetermined supernatural power. The will of the universe. Fate is order. It writes, and rewrites. It gives. It takes. It decides. It spins vibrant red strings that flow into the world and connect people who are destined for love.
Rubi Ama...
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We're back on the pavement outside once I complete my purchases. I've got some cheese in my bag along with the carrots. I don't buy things like cheese often, because they're not only expensive, but they're also high on salt and saturated fats. But Nee-san always says that my cheese sandwiches are delicious, so I gave in and ended up buying some because I want to make them for Ren too.
I can't say my mood has completely recovered. The anger faded quickly, but now I'm anxious. About my exams, my future, and about whether Ren will or will not be a part of it.
I certainly feel a little better though, now that it's just the two of us again. It's easy to push my concerns aside when I'm with Ren, put a blanket over them, pretend they're not there. I know that it's what's gotten me in this mess to begin with, that if I'd addressed all the issues that had presented themselves right away instead of ignoring them, I might have had some semblance of control left, but that still doesn't stop me from kicking my problems under the bus now.
"You seem a little pissy today," Ren says.
"Pissy?" I ask, confused.
He doesn't bother with an explanation. "Is it the stomach ache?" he asks instead. "Does it still hurt?" He then proceeds to glare at my stomach, like that will somehow scare the pain away.
I smile. "It's okay, I'm all better now." Have I been worrying him? I feel myself slump a little. "I'm sorry," I say quietly. "I know I haven't been very great company today."
Ren chooses to ignore my apology. Instead, he reaches into his pocket and takes out...a lollipop? "Here." I slowly pluck it from his fingers and stare at the label. Raspberry, it reads. "I know you like sweet things, so I got it for you," he mutters. I usually refrain from eating any sort of candy, because in my opinion, the taste isn't worth the sugar intake. I glance at Ren again, and my heart does a happy flutter in my chest. But I will eat this one, of course I will eat this one, because Ren got it for me.
I'm holding the grocery bag from Food World, so I'm not sure how to go about eating the lollipop with just one hand. I'm about to put it away for later, when Ren notices my predicament. He wordlessly takes the candy back from me, unwraps it, and plops it into my mouth.
"Shank you," I say, speaking around the lollipop, and this makes him laugh. I shove him lightly with my free hand, then immediately grab his arm again because he's laughing so hard now that he almost stumbles onto the street. "Shtop laughing!" I exclaim, but I'm laughing too.
When he finally catches his breath again, I decide not to speak anymore because I'm afraid he'll roll onto his back in the middle of the road and cause an accident. But it's all for nothing because when his eyes return to my face, the bulge in my cheek cracks him up again. I crack the rest of the lollipop open with my teeth and finish it quickly in protest, because I don't want him to tease me anymore. But my actions backfire, because the food coloring turns my lips and tongue a deep pink, and Ren bursts out laughing all over again.
