Fate. A predetermined supernatural power. The will of the universe. Fate is order. It writes, and rewrites. It gives. It takes. It decides. It spins vibrant red strings that flow into the world and connect people who are destined for love.
Rubi Ama...
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So,
That idiot and I, we...we li-
We like each other.
Fuck.
I grind my feet against the hard floor, sinking low into my chair as my face starts to burn. It's five thirty in the evening already, and the silence in the empty classroom is so heavy that my ears manage to pick up on the faint tick tick of the rotating arms of the clock up ahead, my heart rate rising with each second that passes by.
Akito's gone to the staffroom to talk with one of the teachers about the upcoming exams and shit, and I'm waiting for him here so that we can walk home together once he's back. It's going to be our first time being alone together since...since everything.
I suddenly think I hear someone approaching and spring up like a rod, staring at the door with my breath in my throat. A moment passes, the sound fading away, and I slump back down, realising that the footsteps had probably just been someone from the next class walking by. Another minute passes, and my foot ceases its incessant tapping as I slowly unclench my fists and look down at my hands. My forehead quickly dips in a frown and I rub them to my thighs, cursing quietly. I don't want my hands to be sweaty, in case we...in case we h-hold...
I sigh, twisting my fingers into my hair as another wave of heat floods my face. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be...how to be romantic with someone. I'm...I don't think I'm good with things like that. At things like smiling and kissing foreheads and saying I love you the way the main leads in all the romance movies I watched yesterday do. But I want to be. I want to be good at all those things. I want to be a good boyf...I want to be good for him.
I don't want him to regret anything.
Wiping the sweat off my forehead, I sit up again, telling myself to cool it. It's going to be fine. I'll just...I'll be careful. When Akito comes back, I...I should probably smile at him a bit, shouldn't I? A-And ask him if the meeting with his teacher went okay. Then...then, maybe I'll tell him he looks nice? Fuck, it's a school day though, and he looks the same as he always does. Well, he always does look nice. But...but I can't fucking go and tell him that, can I? Argh, nevermind that.
I'll take him home first. And before dropping him off at his door, I could k-kiss him?
He'd be okay with that, right?
He wants to kiss too, doesn't he?
Yeah. Yeah, he said so himself. He wants to.
Kiss.
Right then, the door to the classroom clicks open without warning, and I impulsively dive down onto the desk in a panic, my forehead landing on the wood with a thunk. I gasp quietly into my lap, heartbeat thundering in my ears, face on fire. Fuck fuck fuck, what was I thinking just now!? Kiss him? It's way too soon for that, isn't it? Goddamn idio-
