Butterfly Weed {SALVIS}

25 2/2. Endless

NOT EDITED

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, life is always endless. No matter what something is still alive, whether it be you, your soul, or your soul in something else. There is so many things in life just so little time for us humans to figure out how it works. One day humans will be wiped out, leading some other random species to take our once high place. The cycle will continue on until the earth is finally a place living things can no longer deem safe.

The Big Bang Theory, as Said in the name, is just a theory. Is there a possibility that it's not how things were made? Yes. But is it also the best possibility? Yes. So we stick with it, we are too scared to look further into it. Some scientist might look into it, but others won't.

Life has many wonders...

Addiction.

Love.

Hate.

Religion.

Sex.

Death.

That's not even the half of it. It would take years to put all of the things we cherish in life in one chapter, even longer just to read it and understand it.

Addition takes many forms, while also forming in many different ways. It's crazy how receptors can become so overwhelmed that they produce less dopamine or just get rid of it because of a simple dopamine enhancer. You would think it's the opposite but no. Once your dopamine levels get so low the brain craves for more. So whatever caused the drainage in the first place, lowers them even more.

Now what causes addiction? Everything.

Family.
Generations and generations of your tree have fucked. Well guess what, many of them had addiction problems. And now you do too! Congratulations! Now don't go blaming your parents, it's also partly your fault, maybe you suffer from some kind of mental illness, which surprise, is another cause of addiction, also can be inherited. Oh well, looks like your just fucked up. Oh and let's not forget that if your parents hate you, looks like you might become an addict!! Congratulations again!! Life was just so sad that you started drugs or some shit. Well, who knows, love is an addiction too! Damn you must really have some trauma to be addicted to love. You would do anything for love wouldn't you? Even if you knew they hated you... you would convince yourself they loved you just so you could feel better about yourself. Well newsflash honey, you will never feel better about yourself. And maybe that's okay, maybe you already know that, maybe it's not love your addicted to... maybe it's just sex. Because all you were doing was having sex. Must have been mistaken for love.. none of those people loved you, they loved your body. But you hate your body don't you. Well,, hate is an addiction as well... whether it be yourselves or others. You just love to hate. Or maybe you hate that all you do is hurt others and yourself, maybe you want to get better. But you can't, because everyone sees you as a fucking monster. You're a real asshole aren't you? You sabotage everything until the only thing left is you, all alone. Maybe dead

Death.

Maybe your scared to die. Or maybe your just waiting to die.

Nobody knows what happens after death. Some believe you go to heaven, others believe you're just dead, and others believe you become something beautiful. Well here's the truth, we all die. And no matter what you believe, death is coming. There's no need to be scared, it happens to everyone eventually. Just try to be remembered as something great. Something wonderful. Life may be endless but you aren't. This could be your only life or one of many lives, either way, don't let yourself be forgotten. Unless that's what you want of course. Life is filled with many terrible things love. Humans are one of the worst. But really, most things we deem as horrible are things we see other species do but we say that's it's normal for them. Why not for us? Because we all have our own opinions.

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"What do you have in there?" Sal asked, looking over to the duffel bag that was now on the coffee table.

"A lot..."

"What's this?" He asked, holding up white powder.

"Molly."

"Let's do it."
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The two sat in the bathroom, neither sure how they got there. Sals prosthetic was nowhere to be seen. Travis sat in front of the boy, knees to his chest, resting his head against the wall. Sal sat against the cabinets under the sink, looking down at the floor. Travis looked like he had something to say, the guilt inside his chest built up, forcing it to finally come out.

"I lied" he said, the two hadn't spoke for 43 minutes. Sal looked at the other. "Hm?" He had no energy to talk, no matter how hard he tried the words wouldn't come from his mouth, it's as if he had to throw up but couldn't.

"I quit my job," he admitted.

Sal adjusted the way he sat, giving himself more support. "I thought you loved it?" He said, noticing how wird it felt to talk. "Well, I sat in my car for about an hour for no fuckijg reason and thought, 'what am I doing with my life?' And I just quit."

The two sat in silence. Sal finally speaking up.

"You know, ever since we were in Highschool, I always thought about what I was going to do with my life. I fucked up almost everything I did. I never really even felt like i was fully there. It was as if I would wake up and look down at myself everyday, hating what I saw. And on a whim, I just thought, 'hey, why not be a writer?'. So I went to college. But that never really fixed how I felt... I fucking suck at writing. And now that i graduated. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Life is so fucking short man, I only have one shot and now,, i don't think I'll make it till I'm 26." Sal took a deep breath. Travis lifted his head from the wall.  Only to rest it back on the wall again in seconds.

"Well for what its worth, in Highschool, I knew you would be something great one day. I was so jealous of you.. you had friends. All I had, or was allowed to have was a fucking bible and a shit dad. If I ever tried anything else out my father would beat the shit out of me. So I pushed everyone away. I regret so many things back then. My biggest regrets are what I did to you and... probably doing drugs. Fuck Sal I just..." Travis paused for a second, thinking about what he was saying. "I just..." this earned a confused look from Sal. Travis didn't know what he was doing. He looked Sal in the eye, the one thing he's always wanted to say deep down but never really thought of.

"I just love you so much Sal."