MUFFLED GROANS || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 48 | Insecurities

In a few minutes, the door opens, and Joonha steps inside, wearing a black shirt and pair of trousers, which I am not used to seeing him in.

"You know why I'm here, so you're not gonna lie to me but tell the truth, right?" he does not beat around the bush, doubtlessly hating to see me feel that way. "I'm just nervous."

"No, that's not true. I'm not gonna say anything to my dad about this, so you can talk to me about it," he steps towards me. "You're scared because my mom's gonna be here, aren't you?"

I glance down at my phone and toy with it, not wanting to admit to being this type of person. "Why does it matter? I just need a few minutes to get ready."

"Stop saying that type of shit. It matters because you're not feeling good, and I hate it. I don't want you to feel like that, especially on my birthday. It hurts me," he cares way too much about me. "Tell me exactly why you're fearful about seeing her. I won't be mad at you, and if it can help you let it out, I understand why you feel like that because I'd be in the same state if I was in your shoes, so don't feel ashamed. I wouldn't want to face my girl's ex either."

It feels good to hear that, somehow.

"Come on," he gives a chuck under my chin, softening his voice. "What's worrying you so much? Is it because she's a woman and that she might indirectly remind you of the bitch?"

I shake my head.

"Then because you're gonna compare yourself to her?" he gets it, quickly. I do not react for a few seconds, then I decide to not keep it to myself since he is doing all of this only for me. I nod. "He already told me not to do it, but I just can't..."

"And why is that? What even is there to compare?" he does not see it as if that was not obvious. "Everything. She must be so beautiful, so perfect, and I feel like it's impossible to not think about the past they had and not miss some stuff or not compare what I give him to what she used to give him. I don't even know her. She will probably think that he lowered his standards or something like that. Everything scares me, and I hate feeling so dumb," I hurry to get rid of a tear to not let it ruin the makeup I took too long to do.

"Y/n..." he breathes my name out. "My mom is not a bitch. She'll never say that kind of disgusting stuff about you. And yes, my mom's beautiful, but you're beautiful too. You're not worth less, you're not less pretty. You both are two different women, you both have your own features, your own qualities, your own flaws, your own personalities, and I could go on, but no one's perfect, so you tell your brain and mind to throw those thoughts out because none of it is true. I'm going to give you an example since I dated more than once, and I can assure you that when you break up with someone, no matter the reason why you did, and that you find someone new, someone who makes you happy, who makes you feel loved, you don't care about the past and the exes, you only care about the one who's by your side now. Nothing else matters other than the one you are with, and I swear that if my dad still had a single thing for my mom, he would never have started anything with you. I can promise you that he wouldn't have started a relationship with you, even if he was in love because he would have known that, at some point, you'd get hurt," he takes time to explain to me and teaches me to be a better person. "You're an amazing person, you're so fucking pretty and cute, and so loveable, so you don't have to worry about anything. He loves you and would do anything to make you happy."

He got me to be speechless. I do not even know what to say.

"You deserve the world, for real," I smile and peek at him. "You do too, but you don't want to understand it," he gazes up into my eyes. "And—"

"Joonha, mom's here!" Jungkook raises his voice to be heard, and my heart races out of fright. "I'm coming!" he stands up but directs his body towards me. He bends over and drops a reassuring kiss on my forehead. "Come on, if you're not feeling alright, you come up to me or text me, and I'll take care of it without my dad knowing it, okay?"