The lonely wolf [bxb]

The new me

(Elias)

'I really want to know what I should do, Raina. Should I forgive him or not?' I was confused. My feelings were getting stronger and stronger as the days goes by for Ryker and I didn't know what to do. Raina and I are currently at the tree house hanging out after I told her that I wanted to come here.

“I can't tell you what to do, Elias, that would only confuse you more. You should look deep within yourself to see whether this is what you want or not. Only you can answer that question.” I groaned at her reply and shook my head. This didn't make any sense, none of it did.

'How can I know the answer when I'm so confused? It doesn't matter whether he's my mate or not, I just don't know whether I should trust him or…or forgive him for what he did a-and try to move on. I can't….” I started to sob as I looked back at all the things I've been through. All I wanted was love, I wanted a family dammit! Was that too much to ask for?

What wrong have I done to be treated like this? Life is not fair, I guess. Not all of us will be able to have a happy home, I've learned the hard way already.

“None of that, Elias, you're stronger than this. You've been through a lot and made it just fine. You shouldn't be wasting your tears on the past.” Raina said as she held me close to her. It took a while for me to calm down because the stress was just too much for me.

“What do you want to do now?" She asked after a minute of silence. I pulled away from her and shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what I wanted to do just yet. It was peaceful here, I can see why Raina chose this location for her treehouse.

'Have you gotten any word from your aunt?' I asked out of nowhere. It's full time I got the answers to the questions I wanted to ask. It was important for me to know about my past and find out more about my powers and why they were taken from me when I was a pup.

“Not as yet. You know that my aunt and I don't have a good relationship, Elias. It's a bit complicated because she thinks that I'm a threat or something.” She replied in a sad tone.

'I just wanted to know why she asked me for permission to enter my parent's pack land in the first place. She's not someone that I trust, no offense.' I replied and she smiled at me.

“None taken. Are you sure you're ready for that sort of responsibly? You already have a lot of going on, so I don't see the sense in putting a lot more stress on yourself.” Raina asked and I nodded my head.

'It's time I do something for myself. But if I'm doing this, I'll need your help too. Would that be alright for you?' I wasn't certain if Raina would want to help me. Seeing how she already has a lot going on, but she surprises me by nodding her head and getting up from the bed with a grin on her face.

“I've always wanted to help you, Elias. I've helped you before with your tongue. It sucks that I'm unable to get you to talk again, but that's something that I'm working on, and hopefully, I can come up with a spell for it. I've already helped kai so why not try with you? This will give me an opportunity to finally see what my capabilities are.” She had an excited look on her face. Knowing that I was finally going through with this.

'I knew that I said that I didn't want to be a lab rat before, but I'll let you help me out since I trust you a lot. It's time I got my life back and stop feeling sorry for myself.' I said, feeling much more confident than before. I would rather not be labeled as soft anymore, I didn't want to be seen as a crybaby.

Yes, I've been through a lot, but Forest has always been there for me. He took my pain away, even when he knew he wasn't as strong as he used to be. If I'm going to do this, I'll do this for him as well. I won't be weak anymore, I won't run or let my soul wander anymore.

I won't be labeled as the lonely wolf anymore because I have people here with me that love me and are willing to take care of me. I trust them with all of my heart, so why not show them that I was strong enough to take care of myself?

Raina squeals and grabs my hand, jumping up and down, which was funny enough to see. She was like a teenager sometimes, I just love her so much, especially when she's this happy.

“I can't believe you're finally going to let me help you the right way! I'm so excited I could pee myself.” I let out a silent laugh, still wishing I was able to hear it. But hopefully, with everything that's happening, Raina will be able to get my voice back. She helped kai with his English, so why not try this for myself?

After settling down, I turned to look at Raina. A thought came to my mind as I sat there thinking about my life. What I wanted to do from now on and how I wanted to be able to be happy once more.

'There's another thing I want to do.' I said, and Raina quieted down a little so that I could tell her.

'After this is all over, after I get my powers back and my voice. I would like to visit my parents.' Raina made a move to protest, she went in protective mode, but this wasn't her fight, it was mine.

'I have to do this, I have to get the closure I so desperately need from them. I would like to be able to walk around here on earth without feeling like I did something wrong to them. I want to be able to be free, so this is what I'll have to do even if you don't approve.' I replied, not backing down because I already made my mind up about what I wanted to do.

“If this is what you want, I'll be there for you. You're not going there alone, Elias, over my dead body.” I nodded my head and smiled at her.

'I think I know what to do. I'm going to talk to Ryker, find a way to move on from this. I'll forgive him for what he did to me so that we can finally be together the right way.' Even though I wasn't certain if this was the right move, I had to do it, as much as I hated the idea. If it means I can move on and be free, then that's what I'll do. I'll be happy again, just wait and see.