𝑅𝐸𝐷 𝑀 𝐴 𝐷 𝑁 𝐸 𝑆 𝑆

𝑂𝑛𝑒

Mom's brain cancer spread to the other half of her brain rapidly.

She was due for the last two years and this was the day we finally put an end to her misery. I wanted to be sad, I wanted the tears swelling in my eyes to take over my heart. There had to be something to make me feel. But as I watched her red hair laid on the pillow in the black coffin, I felt nothing but a wave of relief.

Most people just came to pay their respects, since we were one of the wealthiest families in Thunder Bay. No one actually cared about my mother. Not even my father had the decency to show up on time.

This was us, we were broken, a shattered switchboard of traits.

"I am sorry Tori," Loren said, his hand traveling my back. I shrugged and walked as fast as I could back to my seat. As hard as I wanted to feel something, I didn't need comfort. I was weirdly okay.

To outsiders, I must have looked sad. I knew my eyes were watery but this was a show, nothing real. This made me some kind of monster. I mean, who wouldn't feel heartbroken the day they buried their mother? Well, apparently, me.

She was a person, a human being and I was certain some people must have loved her. I just wasn't part of them.

My heart stammered against my chest when people took the stand and talked. I refused to look around or make eye contact with anyone in this room. This wasn't my first funeral, it surely wasn't the last. I tucked my heart in a box, far away from my mind. It was the only way I could think.

"She was a great woman, powerful, and wild", "A very pretty mother who deserved better", "A loyal wife". These are what people said about her. None of it was true. She wasn't a great woman or powerful or wild. She deserved what she got. But the mere thought of hearing this little voice at the back of my head, made me want to puke.

Especially when Alexei nudged my elbow. I slightly turned my head to his and he nodded his head towards the stand. I made eye contact with Loren, Gabriel, and James. They all did the same and urged me to go.

My best friends had no clue about what happened in that house. A house that wasn't home. I felt my pulse pounding in my temples. It made my breathing rapid and shallow. I racked my brain, trying to understand what I could possibly say about a woman I despised. I had been waiting in vain. I never wished for her to die, that didn't make up for the fact I had no idea what to say.

Slowly, I stood up and strolled towards the stand. I glanced at my dead mother and shook my head. Her eyes were shut close but it felt like they were staring wildly at me. As if she was begging me not to make a scene. This was exactly how my father was looking at me. He was drunk, what did he care? He cared because I was his little princess. Everything had to be perfect and emotional. I had no idea how I could do that.

The more anxious I was to open my mouth, the more it eluded me.

It took me several seconds to gather myself. Every set of eyes was on me. I recognized some of my fellow classmates. However, I frowned when I saw the four horsemen. It took me less than a second to understand. Switching from eyes to eyes, I found their family not far from them.