𝑅𝐸𝐷 𝑀 𝐴 𝐷 𝑁 𝐸 𝑆 𝑆

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛

After our usual talk about everything and I meant, gossiping, James tossed me aside. The others didn't ask where he was taking me or why he was so pissed. I figured why but I loved playing innocent. Why couldn't I have this one thing for me? I did everything, for everyone. And it seemed like it didn't care. It wasn't enough.

''Are you out of your mind?'' James snatched my wrist away and I almost slammed against the wall. My back certainly couldn't take the hit and I indeed was met with the cold wall behind me.

I glanced away, trying to see if anyone followed us. At my right, there was no one, at my left, the four horsemen were standing there, their eyes following every movement James was about to make.

Great, just perfect.

"What? What did I do?" I sounded concerned. Because I was. I always messed up and we always figured shit out. But something told me that this wasn't going to cut it.

"Are you gonna play innocent too?" He shouted in my face, I had no choice but to close my eyes. When he pushed me with his hand, slightly caressing my cheeks, he knew I knew. He still clarified.

"Loren" James never was angry and when he was upset, he had good reasons. Was this really a good reason? I just wanted this, I needed something to numb my pain. Rambling about it wouldn't do any good, it never did.

"What's the matter?"

I glanced at the four horsemen but James didn't seem to have noticed them. Damon was staring at me with those eyes as if he knew I was about to break.

"I thought you said you didn't like him like that." Even though his words were true and they hit me harshly in my heart, he still spoke them very gently. That's what I loved about him, he may have had anger issues but it never really appeared when he went straight to the point.

"Well, I didn't and-"

"And now you do?" He asked, his eyes narrowed. Bubble gums filled my throat, and it took me a moment to find the right words. But no matter what I would say, we both knew it would be a lie.

"I don't know, maybe?"

"Tori, this is not a good idea" I swallowed the bubble gum. It hurt, a bit too much. However, there was nothing in my throat. It was all pretended, like my entire life.

"Okay, and you're telling me this because?" I couldn't help the tears rising in my eyes. I knew if I blinked, they would crash down down down. And I would be doomed, as always. If there was one thing I knew, I couldn't escape the future. It was as if it was already written and planned me a life of misery. I didn't want that, why couldn't I have a normal life?

"I don't want you guys to be heartbroken"

"Really?" I raised my voice, the anger filling me instead of the pain. Loren made me feel good, and I made him feel good. Where was the problem with that?

"Why do you always think there's a meaning behind everything?" He looked me up and down and that was my final moment. He would always be there for me, for us. But just how far could I go?

"Because there's usually one. Forget it" I crossed my arms and tied my hair in a ponytail, not noticing that the four horsemen were still watching us, watching me.

"Tori, don't walk away like this" he yelled and I came to a stop. I rather choked on my choices in life than live with them for the rest of my short years. I was mad, tired, and sad. I thought they figured it out already.

"Like what? Uh?"

He didn't answer, his eyes searching mine. We both knew that at lunch, we would be fine, we wouldn't care about what had happened. We were good at that, ignoring the obvious.

"That's what I thought" I spat and walked as fast as I could to the girls' locker room. I planned on skipping first anyway.

James didn't come after me, they never did. Then why did I feel someone grip me from behind as I fell to the floor?

Why didn't they fight for me? We were just humans, we weren't supposed to be perfect, were we?

"It's okay, baby, I got you"

I hadn't even realized I was crying when his hands lifted me up and down on the bench. I was sobbing and shaking. But there was no sound coming out of my mouth, or so I thought.

"What's wrong? What did he say?" He brushed my hair out of my face and I didn't think this was happening for real. Everything was going to change and I didn't want it to move away from my fingers. I'd have to tell Loren I didn't like him like that. The thing was I was certain he wouldn't care and kiss me even though we wouldn't be together.

We both needed closure.

I never realized how desperate he was until his lips touched mine. What was so wrong with his life? And as I asked myself the question, I regretted it. I knew why Loren was broken. Why we were ignoring every problem that was in our way? We weren't good to talk about deep stuff but we made each other's lives shine, I think.

"Victoria?" The way Damon said my name made my insides crumble. Why did he have such an effect on me?

He wiped my tears with a sincere look in his eyes. He understood, didn't he?

How?

How was that possible?

"What happened back there?" He pressed his thumb, lifting my chin up. I inhaled shortly and shook my head. Why did he think something happened?

Oh, I don't know Tori. Maybe it was because you ran crying into the girls' locker room.

"You don't want to tell me?"

It felt like the bubble gum in my throat had burst and I thought it was about damn time. The only thing I didn't understand was why I was so happy that Damon was here with me. Why did my body feel comfort whenever he touched me?

"I- nothing happened I just-"

"Can't take it anymore?"

He took the words out of my mouth. I sniffled and slowly nodded. A smile rose on his lips and I blinked to see him better. He was so freaking handsome.

"I know that feeling" he whispered, sitting next to me, taking my hand in his.

I shivered and he noticed because he sat closer to me, enough so our thighs were touching.

"You skipping first?"

"Yes," I shortly said, my voice warm as an angel. I was feeling very cold inside but I didn't get it. Why was he so nice to me? He didn't even know me?

"Mind if I join?"