infinity.///ashtray story, euphoria.

part 18

y/n's pov:
so me and rue just went to a roof and smoked a joint while watching the sunset, but now we're heading back to hers.

"man i don't know, i mean- maybe i should ask her out but like what if she doesn't like me. y/n i need your help!" rue whines as we walk into her house.

"i mean you guys have been friends for quite a while and i see you and her flirting ALL the time. i don't know but to me it looks like she likes you and OBVIOUSLY you like her so you should just go for it. and if she says no then it's not the end of the world." personally i think i should become a therapist

"yeah but it will be the end of the world. i'll make a huge fool out of myself, she will hate me and won't talk to me, everyone will know i got rejected, i'll ruin our friendship AND i'll end up killing myself" rue rushes out

"woah, woah, woah woman calm your tits down. it's going to be okay, just take it slow with her. carry on flirting with her maybe add a few things here and there and see if she goes along with it. if she does and the time feels right, ask her out." i calmly say

"why are you like actually good at this?" rue questions

"im probably not, you're just too high to actually take notice in what i'm saying" i laugh

"soooo what do you wanna do now" rue asks

"movie?" i state but it comes out more like a question.

"okay"

we put mean girls on the tv, rues complaining about how she hates this film but i know that secretly she's loving it.
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the films about to finish when rues phone starts to ring.

she answers it and walks off into the other room.

once she comes back out she has a 'guilty' look on her face, before i can ask she quickly tells me.

"um i kinda invited jules over, i know it was just meant to be you and me but i couldn't say no to her. if you don't want her to stay then i'll call back up now and say no"

"it's fine plus it would be better with more company" i say

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okay maybe i regret the 'better with more company' thing because rue hasn't acknowledged my existence since jules arrived. i mean i know she likes her and all but i was here first, don't get me wrong i'm happy for them but i just think it's kinda rude leaving me out. ugh i sound so stuck up right now.

i think i might just leave, it's not like they're gonna notice.

i grab my stuff and walk out of the front door.

i'm not mad, i'd rather just give them some space ig.

i get my phone out and check what time it is, 1:37am.

okay kinda later than i thought it was, i swear it was like 9 a second ago.

while i'm walking home i hear a car drive behind me, it sounds like it's slowing down.

oh God, the son and the holy spirit. i know i've done some bad things in my life but i'm only 15, i have my whole life ahead of me. do not let my die today, also pls don't let me get kidnapped because that would really suck and i would be dead in like 2 minutes. SO GOD IM BEGGING YOU MAKE THE CAR JUST DRIVE PAST ME. amen.

that was my first time praying um i think i did well.

the car is still driving slowly behind me, what? i thought God had my back 😒.

the horn goes off and catches me by surprise, i actually get scared for once in my life.

"Y/N" i hear a voice calling

i turn around to see the car pulling up next to me, oh shit i recognise it.

haha it's ashtray, see i knew i was getting worried for nothing.

he sticks his head out of the window
"get in" he says

i go around to the other side and hop in the car.

"what are you doing walking by yourself outside at this time?" he asks

"i was meant to be sleeping at rues but she invited jules over" i say keeping my answer short and sweet

"oh yeah i wouldn't want to be in the same room as them two, alone" he replies

i just turn and smile at him, while he focuses on the road.

"why are you out so late" i ask

" you know why i'm out at this time" he says

could of saw it from a mile away, he was at a drug deal. but without fez?

i've thought about getting back into it but i don't see the point, i mean i'm not struggling for money, i have a house that i'm living in now, im living with my loving uncle. so what's the need to get back into it?

then again it would be something for me to do since everyone's at school during the day and i'm not.

my thoughts come to a stop when the car halts, i turn to see that we are at my house.

"thankyou for the ride" i say

ash nods and waves as i get out of the car.

i go up to the door and grab the spare key that's under a plant pot.

i walk in and see my uncle watching tv on the couch, why is he up so late?

"i thought you was staying at a friends" he says looking up from the tv

"yeah i was gonna but something got in the way" i reply

"also why are you sat downstairs watching tv so late" i ask

"boxings on" he stares intensely at then screen

"okay then" i say turning on my heals and walking upstairs.

i get into my room and change into some comfy clothes to sleep in, i never wear actual pyjamas. i also can't wear pants to bed, it has to be shorts and i also can't wear a long sleeve tshirt, but i can wear a jumper. even in winter i'll wear this. i know weird right.

anyways i jump on my bed and knock out instantly for the night.
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okay this chapter wasnt that interesting but it's late at night and i'm tired so what can i say. also i can't reply to any comments but just letting you know i see ALL of them.

—A