My New Baby

Chapter 20.

After everything that happend yesturday, the nap Isiah insisted for me to take didn't help much. I was able to rest, especially since I wasn't being woken up by Hayden. When I did wake up though, I felt empty inside. It felt like something was missing, and I couldn't figure out what. The feeling was so intense, I only once felt this way after my Dad passed away.

Grace came into mind, and I slowly felt the emptiness grow, and sting. The thing missing is Grace this time. Not just her, but my Mom and Dad too. When it came to my Mom's death, I mourned properly. I had my Dad there with me, and he was strong for both Grace and I.

When my Dad passed away, it was harder to mourn for him. Our beautiful step mom was slowly turning into a monster, and Grace and I pretty much just had each other. Slowly, Grace and I did our parts. We were there for each other, and slowly we had accepted it.

Now that Grace is gone, I feel like I didn't get a chance to mourn her death. Instead I jumped straight into Mother hood, and I started to fall in love with a guy. My mind and heart never got to accept the fact she was gone, and now that she is I don't know how I'll ever get over it. I have no family. I have no aunts, cousins, and my grandparents passed away before Grace and I were born. The only family I have left is Hayden, and Isiah since he's like a brother to me.

This blackness that filled my body, it stung. I felt it from my head to my toes, and it felt like it absolutely wasn't going anywhere.

As I laid down on my bed, I tried to sleep. I didn't want feel anything, even though the only thing I did feel was being numb. Everything hit me so suddenly, I wasn't ready for all of these emotions to just flood me.

Isiah has been very understanding of what I'm going through, and he's been such a big help with Hayden. Right now, Hayden was awake but he was with Isiah. Isiah had taken him from me, and told me to just keep resting. Hayden was no longer tired, and probably wanted some time awake to play.

As I laid in the bed, my mind wondered off. I wasn't exactly able to sleep anymore, but I at least wanted to rest as much as possible. As I turned in my bed, I heard noise outside the door. It sounded like someone had opened, and closed the front door.

"Hey, I don't think she's in the mood for visitors," I heard Isiah say. Was Charlotte here?

"I need to talk to her," Eric's voice rang. "I don't like how things ended between us, can I please talk to her?"

I held on tightly to the blanket that covered me. I really hope Isiah says no. I don't think I could see him, not now. I thought I made it clear at Java Beans, I need space.

"Eric, that girl has been through hell and back. Everything she's been through, it's hitting her all at once now. She was never able to mourn her sister properly. Plus, she still thinks you made her into a bet. She's just dealing with a lot of emotions right now, I really think you need to give her space."

I was thankful Isiah was trying his best to keep him out. As much as I felt like I wanted to see him, I knew I couldn't. I need space. I need to give myself some time to accept that my sisters gone. Eric is just a distraction, he distracts my head and my heart.

"I know she's been through so much, and that's why I want to be there for her. You have no idea how much I miss her. I seriously do love her, Isiah. I'm truly madly deeply in love with Aaliyah. I missed this little guy too." That was all I was able to hear.

Part of me feels like Eric held Hayden. Every time Eric saw Hayden, he went crazy for the baby. Hayden loved Eric too, even though he's still a baby he still knows who he loves.

My mind started to drift off to when Eric and I were still flirting with one another, and he would see Hayden and help me with him. Slowly I started to miss him too, and I wanted to go out there and hug him. The black feeling in my body grew, and just as the missing Eric feelings came, they quickly faded away into the darkness I felt.