Chapter 41

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"I really don't know" Wei Wuxian lowkey responded while looking up at the ceiling. He was currently lying down in a daybed while talking to Wang Fang who was seated right beside him, taking down notes of keywords/important words that Wei Wuxian mentioned a while when they started their session. They were both currently in Wei Wuxian's quarters and this is the next day after the competition.

"Were you mentally prepared for this to happen? After all you agreed to this in the first place?" Wang Fang asked him while eyeing the small hand gestures of uneasiness he's making.

"Yes..no..maybe?" Wei Wuxian answered while fidgeting his hands, earning a raised eyebrow from Wang Fang "At first I was hesitant about agreeing to do that and I consoled you before about it right?" Wei Wuxian asked him

Wang Fang nodded his head "Yes go on"

"The idea of marriage and suitors, frightens me..it's like I fear getting married or the idea of falling in love. This may be due to my previous encounters..past experiences? I kept thinking that I should do this..for the sake of the people of Diqiu, strengthen alliances..build good relationships? Wei Ying suggested with an uneasy face.

Wang Fang shook his head in response "We have previously discussed this before, you need to stop that self-sacrificing personality of yours. Don't always sacrifice or do things for the sake of others, it's ok to be selfish once in a while. If you don't want to get married just say it out, if you don't wanna do this in the first place you should have just told them no."

"Old habits are hard to die out..it's like a duty that has always remained to me"

Wang Fang shook his head in disbelief that even after having nonstop sessions for 16 years straight this had been so hard to resolve. In their sessions they have talked about Wei Wuxian personality being different from his youth and his past lives. If the past Wei Wuxian was known to be shameless, energetic, mischievous, enjoys teasing others, flirting with girls and carefree. Then the current Wei Wuxian who have gone through so much horrific, lethal, death threatening, traumatic experiences, scorns of the world, heartbreaking betrayals, experiences lots of torture, abused, pain, seen the worst of humanity, had low self-esteem, self hate issues, depression and so much more..you could say he was really broken that it took a long time for him and for everyone to get him somewhat like his old self and that he's much more mature in a good way.

Wei Wuxian would still joke around and be mischievous with others, but he no longer flirted with girls or had a carefree personality. He would act shamelessly if necessary but he does the duties and roles that people expect him to do. Overall he's still the same Wei Wuxian that people around him treasure but at the same time there are times that he's like a different person especially when he's Xian Dingxiang. On a normal basis when he goes and roams around the mortal realm he uses his identity as Xian Dingxiang so that he won't be recognized by his enemies or the cultivating world.

"Until now, the problem is still the same as ever, self-love. You really need to continue taking care of your needs and not sacrificing your well-being for the sake or to please others. It's unhealthy for you to do things that you are not willing to do on your own will.

"It's just..just, I'm not sure if I wanna date people at the moment or be with them for romantic purposes. Until now my romantic life has always been one of the most talked about topics/conversations people will bring out." Wei Wuxian truthfully answered "My past lives were not the most pleasant ones to think off and I..I dunno if this is exactly what I want and I'm not ready for this"

"Wei Wang, there's no room for complaining because it has been done. You had promised your word that you will cooperate and spend time with the winners of the competition." Chonglin reminded him while walking towards the phoenix, at the same time carrying a tray full of scrolls, making his presence known.

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