Girls With Luv

TWENTY-FOUR April

Am I abandoning Spencer?

This question keeps haunting me as I walk out of the beach house with Spencer's car keys in my hand. I know that this is not the case but the momma me will never stop worrying about the baby of the group. Technically, Liya is the youngest one but Spencer is the real baby because her antics fit the role really well. Before I can do anything else, I pull out my phone and open Noah's chatbox.

Hey, April this side. Are you busy right now?

As if he knew I was about to write to him, Noah replies immediately.

N: Hey, what's up?

A: Spence's home alone and she's struggling with a nature-induced combo of cramps and mood swings. I was wondering if you could check on her?

N: I'll be there, dw. Anything I should take for her?

A: Well, she did say something about ice cream. It's always safe to take something chocolate as a peace offering :3

N: You can stop worrying about her, I'll take it from here.

A: Thanks, N.

Smiling to myself, I unlock the car, settle down behind the wheel and put on my seatbelt. He really cares for her and she's too dumb to realise what's happening around her. I just hope it isn't too late this time and she doesn't miss out on her chance to actually spend some time with a beautiful guy. I gave up on making her understand this stuff and can only hope that she doesn't fight back this time.

I shake my head of all the thoughts and concentrate on the car. I am not much of a driver, I don't trust people on the road. I might be the best one with the damn vehicle but who can guarantee my safety when others drive like the world is on fire and the only route available is the one that intersects with my path. People are weird. Very very weird.

I haven't planned much, to be honest. I don't know what I will do today, I just wanted to get out and be by myself for a while. Jeremy left and drilled it in my head that him leaving has nothing to do with me, but deep down, I know that me rejecting him pushed him in that direction. That guilt will stay for a while. But I think I'll grow out of it soon enough or else the kids back home will bully me into it. Plus, yes I feel bad but I also know that I did the right thing. I just need some time off to clear my head. I'll be fine.

The car kicks off pretty smoothly, which is unexpected because most of Spencer's things are rugged and too used to mistreatment. No judgment involved, I've made my peace with this. I mean, I know she takes care of the vehicle and we saw a good side of it when we drove here but I had a feeling that the maintenance thing might be a screw up. Well, I am proven wrong once again. I guess this really is her baby. Baby's baby this is, so technically I'm the grandmother here.

Moving on.

I don't know if this makes sense but I really wanted to figure out what I really want. This vacation was supposed to be a break from too much worrying that had become a normal part of our lives, but somehow things have become really twisted for me. I'm not sure how I should explain this but it's true that the possibility of getting emotionally screwed tends to increase when you throw in boys. And here, the boys in question are freaking celebrities. One of them confessed to me, I politely declined, he switched towns and the guy I might possibly like for real is an introvert who works on the basis of his vibe check. I seriously don't know what to do with my life right now. Maybe getting in a row with an editor of a stupid magazine wasn't that big of a deal.

Even though I've been living with them under the same roof, I feel like I haven't been spending much time with Spencer and Liya. We were supposed to sit back and relax, not bust our heads over guys. Somehow, our vacation has lost track of what it was supposed to be. There is a distraction in the form of fleeting crushes and I'm slowly becoming critical of the entire in-the-moment facade. I think it's the frustration with my inability to understand my own emotions that is turning me into a cynic. Or maybe it's just life's way of showing that the journey and your experience with it is fully capable of changing your destination. I mean, you can start off with the trip with Paris in mind but might come across certain things that make you switch lanes and take a completely different route altogether. Anything is possible, you just need to be open-minded about it.