Your Voice(please, I want to hear it again.) || TOMMYINNIT

16:

(A/N: Happy Halloween!! <3.)

~~~~~

- So, could you tell me about it?

- About what?... Tommy, what are you talking about?

- I mean—! - Tommy's voice shuttered as he raised his hands, making ecstatic motions with them & pointing towards the only other person in the room. - You! Explain yourself! Why are you so pale?! Why are you always so fuckin' tired?! Nana, I'm sick of this. You keep ignoring— this— this thing that's happening to you, and I'm scared that you'll need to go to the hospital soon even though you probably already should've gone to get help months before you became like— like this! You keep pretending like you can't see what's happening to you while everyone else can.

The air around Tommy had been tense that day, making Nana feel as if she may start suffocating in the tension any minute now. Well, she was currently drowning in it.

Tommy had seemed quite... tired? A little down? Perhaps annoyed? Tommy's mood had been stale the entire day & it hadn't changed the whole time they'd been together. Not when they met up. Not when they went to see the new cafe in the city. Not when Nana tried teaching him volleyball. Not when they got on the bus or when the two of them arrived at Nana's flat to rest.

It had been a hot summer day at the time, around what felt to be close to around 24 or 25 degrees. Although, the weather forecast had been a promising light shower of rain in the afternoon.

When they had arrived at Nana's flat, Tommy took off his shoes as fast as he could & immediately took it upon himself to open each window in the flat to clear out the hot air that had been strangling him. Yet, after the first window had been opened, Nana hurried to go & close it, telling him it would be too cold for her with it opened.

Tommy was purely baffled.

Cold? In this type of weather? Nana had to either confess that that was a pitiful comedy sketch or give a good reason for being cold.

Well, he could physically see the reason for her shivers. Nonetheless, Tommy had wanted to hear it from her & no one else.

Whatever Nana had been trying to so desperately hide from him did not matter now as Tommy had finally reached his breaking point.

- You keep disappearing every few weeks and come back like nothing's happened?! Nana, I'm worried. I'm worried for you, yet you don't seem to care about yourself or me! - Tommy paused as he stared at the girl before him.

Did I shout too much? Nana's irises seemed as if they had lost their colour.

- Nana, please. Could you tell me what the hell is going on with you?

Though, Nana had not given Tommy the answer he wished to hear.

- Tommy, please, not now. - Nana turned away, her back now facing him. - There's no point in telling you when it's all going to be over so soo—

The floorboards creaked as they always had as Tommy's walking caused them to be a little louder than usual.

Nana couldn't move, Tommy not allowing the girl to finish her sentence, let alone walk any further away from him. Not now. She couldn't disappear from him now.

Her breath quivered from the sudden stop in movement, the world now seemingly spinning around in her colourless eyes.

- Nana, you can stay quiet. I'm sorry. You don't have to say a thing anymore. I—Just— Please— don't leave me again.

Tommy's voice was quiet, almost recreating what would've been a whisper with a crack in it. Nana choked on her tears, the attempt to stay silent turning into a miserable fail.

- Nana, I—

- Tom, it's okay. - Nana spoke, attempting to talk through her cries. - I'm sorry for disappearing like that. I'm sorry for making you feel like this. I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm sorry for doing this to you. I'm so sorry for dragging you into my mess.

Nana hadn't dragged him into any mess. He had been the one who chose to come along. If anything, this had now become their mess & Tommy decided to be a part of it.

- Nana, please, I don't want another stupid apology. I just want an explanation. For the last time, I ask of you — tell me what's wrong.

- Tommy, I'm sick! Isn't it obvious?!

Both of them had stayed silent after Nana's words, staying still in that same position, not daring to move even a singular millimetre no matter what noise would startle them or what would happen around them.

Today's forecast hadn't been lying. The sky had already been clouded for a few hours & only now had the rain begun pouring in the same rhythm as Nana's tears. The rain gently landed against the closed windows, mimicking the sound of someone tapping the glass.

- Nana, but there's medicine. There are hospitals, doctors and nurses that are willing to help you. Nana, you can get better.

She had to. Nana had to get better. Tommy refused to acknowledge any other possible outcomes that didn't result in his version of a happy ending.

Though, sadly, Nana hadn't responded to Tommy's statement.

Against her back, Nana could feel Tommy's heartbeat fasten due to her silence.

- You can get better, right? Nana, please tell me that you'll be okay.

In response, Tommy had only received sniffles & tears falling onto the back of his hand.

- Right? Nana, come on. This isn't funny.

The girl hadn't responded.

Nana could feel her heart tighten in her chest. A stinging, jarring pain had begun stabbing her fom every direction possible, those same pins & needles coming back.

- What's the point of getting help if I'm going to die anyway?...

Those had been the only words Nana could muster up. The rest had been lost, soaked & drowned away in a fall of her tears.

Tommy stayed silent, trying to collect his thoughts.

- ...May— May I have the details? - Tommy asked, his voice quivering as he tried to control his cries.

- Do you remember when... - Nana paused, trying to get a hold of her emotions, - when I told you about my mother's passing?

- Yeah? You said she passed around a year ago.

- The doctor said the illness is genetic, and I now have it because I take after my mother more rather than my dad, like Ela.

- But it's curable, right? There's treatment for pretty much everything nowadays.

- ...

- Nana, please, speak with me.

- I already told you, Tommy. It's not. It's terminal.

It took every bit of strength Nana had to simply utter those few mere words. Then again, the conversation still wasn't over.

- You're joking, aren't you? Tell me that this is some stupid fucking bit, please.

- I was diagnosed back in late February or early march. I can't really remember... Apparently, my symptoms started showing up last September. It's when I came to Britain for school. Most... most people with this illness die within a year or two. - Nana had continued, ignoring Tommy's disbelief that kept growing every few seconds.

It was in the middle of July. Heat waves were still pouring & blowing left & right from every direction.

- I'm sorry, Tommy. I'm so, so sorry.

Tommy had stayed silent, wondering why Nana continued to apologise.