Watching Sunrises

Hard Decisions

During a rare sunny afternoon, Loren brought out a couple of plastic bottles she's been saving, some acrylic paint, plus some plants she bought from the plant shop atop her kitchen counter. Her imagination ran with possibilities of things she could do if she were still living in her small farm back home, but with only a small patch of outdoor space in the balcony area, she'll have to make do.

She took the white acrylic paint and painted each bottle with the base. There's something about taking something one considers trash and making it into a work of art with a bit of elbow grease that Loren considers therapeutic. This is even truer now that there are not many expectations hanging over her head.

After that, she took some light blue, light pink, and purple paint and splashed them in random places. It would have to be enough. An hour or so of painting later, Loren marveled at her new creation. "That's more like it."

While leaving the paint to dry, Loren sat back down on the beanbag she threw on the living area and attempted to grab a book next to it when the FaceTime alert appeared on her phone with Risa's name displayed.

Upon accepting the call, Risa, donned in a sleeveless maxi dress and her signature eyeglasses, waved on-screen. "Hi, Ate Lo! Sorry ngayon lang tayo natuloy. Alam mo naman, budget season na."

Loren laughed, imagining the mayhem that comes with the budget debates, and wore her eyeglasses to see the screen more clearly. "Ris, kumusta na? Anong nangyayari diyan."

Risa stared into the sky. "Well, nag-reorg dito sa Senate a little after you left. Migz pretty much washed his hands clean of the entire thing."

"Typical Migz.", Loren remarked, rolling her eyes. "Sino SP ngayon?"

A large smile appeared on Risa's face. "Kiko's SP na, then Migz is the new Minority Leader."

Loren just stared at her bewildered at the entire situation. "So you're telling me your bloc managed to take over the Senate? Sinong Majority Leader."

Risa pointed to herself with two fingers. "Yours truly!"

"Oh my God!", Loren exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Ikaw pala ang susunod sa yapak ko. Remember, I was the first female Majority Leader back in 2001."

Risa shook her head. "Hay naku, you really will insert yourself in everything, wouldn't you?"

That last comment from Risa passed through one ear and out of the other. "Nga pala, sino pumalit sa akin sa Pro Temp?"

She was met with silence from the other line before Risa spoke again. "It's Pia, Ate."

Loren's heart jumped with that last answer and mumbled her thoughts to herself. Part of her wanted to prod Risa a bit more about how Pia's holding up, but decided that now's the right time. "Talagang hahabulin talaga ako hanggang sa huli, no?"

"What did you say, Ate?"

"Ay, wala.", Loren responded before changing the topic. Now's not the time to open that can of worms. "Teka, Ris, tour kita sa flat. It's still a bit empty but it's coming together."

Loren then walked around the flat with her phone on hand and showcased each part of her new abode. "I'm trying for a bit of that 'industrial chic' look because of that bare cement floor so I've been going around thrift stores to find some things that fit. Parang bagay naman."

Glee filled Risa's voice as the tour went on. "Wow, if ever I end up in London for official business, I'll visit your place. So ganda!"

"Wait, I'll show you something."

Loren put down her phone on top of one of the lamps and clapped her hands. As soon as she did, the lights went out. Another clap later, they turned on again.

"Wow naman, hi–tech tayo today.", Risa remarked. "I should replace some of the lights at home with that."

Before Loren could say something, her doorbell rang. "Shit...Sorry, I have to answer the door."

Immediately after, Loren sprinted to the door and greeted the mail carrier carrying a large envelope with an emblem on the side. Upon seeing what it was, she quickly scribbled her signature and grabbed the envelope before going back to the kitchen area.

"What's that?", Risa asked.

Loren's hands shook as she opened the packet. "Oh dear, ito na..."

Risa stared with confusion. "Ito na ang alin?"

"Well, I applied for the History of Art MA Program at the City University of London.", Loren answered. "Oh my God, kinakabahan ako! What if I don't get in?"

"Oh, right I remember you mentioning wanting to go back to school when your term ends.", Risa chuckled. "I guess napa-aga lang."

Loren then scanned the letter enclosed in a smaller envelope. Upon seeing certain sentence, she clutched her chest with her right hand. "I got in? Ris, nakapasok ako!"

Risa squealed on the other line. "Yay! Congrats, Ate Lo, so proud of you!"

"Salamat! Wow, teka, na-e-excite ako.", Loren said, fanning her face with her hands.

So many emotions flooded through Loren upon seeing that letter. She's now one step closer to fulfilling her dream of getting more involved in the art space in some capacity the moment she gets back home.

In another universe, she would be celebrating this occasion with a certain person by her side, but Loren would have to content herself with a note she wrote on a plant shop receipt.

"Dearest Pilar,

Natanggap ako sa MA program today. I know I told you about this multiple times, but for once, this is the real thing.

I wish I had the courage to call you up and tell you the news myself, pero hindi pa ako handang sagutin lahat ng mga tanong mo.

I'm sorry for letting you down yet again.

Nagmamahal,

Regina."

As soon as she signed her name, she grabbed that pink box, unlocked it, stored the piece of paper in the tab labeled '2026', and closed it right after. Upon closer realization, it dawned upon her that it's been 10 years since the budget cut saga.

Until now, she could remember the shame and disappointment in Pia's voice that day. "I don't think I could trust you anymore."

For the first time in Loren's life, things became crystal clear. "I'm going to fill those two years and keep my promise, no matter what and how it takes."