Watching Sunrises

Masks Off

Of all the things Loren would expect to juggle all at once, finishing up her dissertation and wedding planning wasn't it.

The dissertation was the easy part - after a nerve-wracking wait, her dissertation panel delivered her a passing mark and she sent off the final copy to the university's archives.

Wedding planning, however? A whole different beast.

She and Pia initially wanted to get married back in the Philippines, but disagreements over who to put in the guest list made them decide to elope in London instead, with a small celebration with family and friends once Loren moves back home permanently.

Thanks to Loren's connections with Filipino creatives in London, plus Pia's negotiating skills, honed by decades as an entrepreneur, all systems are go for the wedding tomorrow.

Today, however, is all about her.

Loren checked herself in front of her mirror and fixed up her graduation gown to make sure everything was in place. At long last, the 2 years of blood, sweat, and (a whole lot of) tears have rewarded her with the opportunity to don some academic attire and walk on the stage to get her Art History MA.

She then faced Risa, sitting on the edge of the bed, and adjusted her hood. "Ris, okay na ba?"

Risa then stood up and did a few last-minute adjustments to Loren's Master's hood and secured a couple of places with some safety pins. "Ayan, okay na."

Loren glanced at herself from head to toe and pinched herself to make sure she isn't dreaming. "Grabe, Ris, di pa rin ako makapaniwala na natapos ko ung MA. It still doesn't feel real."

"MA in Art History with distinction, Ate Lo!", Risa corrected. "What happened to the Ate Lo who would put special emphasis on the 'with distinction' part?"

A hearty laugh came out of Loren. "She's still around, but at this point, all that matters is I have the degree. Bonus na lang ung distinction."

Risa put on her glasses and read the graduation program, then glanced at her watch. "Only an hour to go before we need to go."

Before Loren had a chance to say something, the doorbell rang. She then got up to open the door to find Pia and Leni on the other side.

Loren then gave Leni a short hug greeted and with her new special nickname for her. "Good morning, Ma'am. Tagal niyo, ah."

"Grabe, Madam, ang daming tao sa mga shop." Leni complained, scratching her head. "Si Peej kasi, eh. Last minute na nag-hanap ng grad gift kahit sabi ko dapat kahapon pa lang nag-shopping na kami."

"Typical Pilar. 'Di ako crammer' mukha mo."

Leni entered the flat, with Pia following suit behind her with two large gift bags in tow. "Good morning, wife. Ready for your big day."

She flashed that 'tanggal angas, lakas, at tapang' smile again and suddenly, Loren's stomach was doing somersaults. "Ready na sana, eh. Kaso dumating ka na naman."

Pia pretended to turn the other way. "Sige, alis na 'ko. Bye, Reg!"

The four women laughed as Loren dragged Pia back inside. "Loko-loko ka, Pilar, pumasok ka na nga!"

Loren then gave a final tour of her London flat, the place that served as her abode in this not-so-strange city for the past couple of years.

She then went on a rambling monologue about every item in the house with the energy levels of a Golden Retriever and even started flapping her hands a certain way when talking about the balcony view of the River Thames or the collections of textiles she has amassed from all over the world.

Much as she hated to admit it, she was going to miss this place.

She then looked behind her and saw the three of them still listening to her every word. "Am I talking too much?"

Her eyes pleaded at them, bracing for the worst. That perhaps, they're just secretly putting up with her and would rather be somewhere else.

Risa shook her head and smiled through tears in her eyes. "No, Ate Lo. We actually want you to talk more."

"Cute nga, eh." Leni added. "Remember nung pinakita ko ung mga plants kong mamamatay na tapos alam mo agad ung gagawin?"

Finally, Pia spoke up, brushing Loren's hair. "Reg, this is the side of you that I knew was always there. We're just waiting for her to come out."

Loren's scrunched up and fell into a heap on the couch, ruined makeup be damned. For the first time in her life, she showed up without the mask she put on for the world, felt seen as she was, and most importantly, they stayed.

Moments later, joined by her best friend, her greatest teacher, and the love of her life, she let out the most cathartic cry she ever had in her six decades of existence.

Later that afternoon, Loren stepped onto the stage when the emcee announced her name. "Legarda, Lorna Regina Bautista - MA in History of Art, with distinction."

She then walked to the front and waved at a distance to the three women that changed her life before taking a bow. Just as she was about to get up, however, her mortarboard fell off her head.

A few years ago, this would've been a great source of embarrassment from hearing all the cheers and jeers around her. This time around, just in her final exam in Orly Mercado's class in UP, she picked up the mortarboard, put it right back at her head, and exited stage left with her head up high.

Instead of going back to her seat, however, she made her way straight into where Pia, Leni, and Risa were seated and circled together in a group hug, just like during the old days back in the Senate after a long day.

Loren then mouthed a 'thank you' to the three of them before heading back to her seat to start her second crying session for the day.

Except for once, it will make her feel better instead of worse.