Why Me? (Tobias Forge)

18

As I stepped outside of the school building, I immediately noticed the change in the outdoor setting. What was once a gloomy, cloudy sky with rain threatening to spill had turned into a breezy, sunny day with minimal clouds. As I stepped out from the shade of the patio and towards the direction of the smoker section, I felt the sun rays hit my body. The warmth, accompanied by the breeze was comforting and it seemingly had an affect on my mood.

I stood against the brick wall of the school and waited for Tobias. However, he never showed, so I decided to head home. The walk home seemed to be the most productive walk I've had. I was able to think some things over and weigh out the pros and cons of my decision; something that I hadn't been able to do since the situation appeared. For the past week and a half it seemed like I was focusing so hard on the act of making a decision that my brain shut out what I was actually debating on choosing.

As my walk continued, I heard a car horn honk from behind me. I turned around to see who it was and I was surprised to find it was James and Lita.
James drove up next to me and Lita spoke to me through the passenger window.

"Get in, (y/n)." Lita gestured towards the backseat, to which I raised an eyebrow.

"I think you guys know me well enough to know I'm gonna need some form explanation."

"Look, we know we denied any ties to what you asked us about this morning but there's something we have to tell you. It's important and we think you should know."

I shrugged and decided that was enough information for me. Despite the fact that I knew that could be lying, I was still a little desperate to know any possible conspiracies about Ghost. After a few minutes, we pulled into James' driveway; who proceeded to roll up the windows once we were parked. Once settled, James and Lita turned in their seats to face me.

"So" Lita began "This morning we denied being involved with the church of Ghost for our sake, because we're not supposed to tell anyone about it. Also, we know that Tobias was the one who told you about us, okay, we've established that. Now, (y/n), we've been your friends since you first moved here, yet Tobias was a thorn in your side up until a few months ago. There's a reason he's so friendly with you now and trust me, it's not for your benefit."

"Go on" I nodded.

"Well, let me start off by saying that the Church of Ghost isn't exactly the nicest place to be." James began "I bet everyone was really nice to you when you first went, but once you're in it, everyone's tone changes. Second of all, Tobias is using you, (y/n)."

"How so?" I queried.

"You see, Tobias is next in line for the Emeritus title but he still has some time before that happens. However, if he recruits a new member into the church, anyone it could be anyone; if he persuades someone into joining the church of Ghost then his ceremony will be moved up and the quicker he can become Papa Emeritus."

"Yeah, it's true, we overheard Nihil and him talking about it in the library one night. Nihil is in on it, he convinced your parents to bring you to the church, if it weren't for him you would've never known about the church." Lita explained.

"I mean, he's Nihil's favorite, of course he'd try to help Tobias out the easy way." James added.

In response, I said nothing, only nodding my head as I processed the information that was given to me. A huge part of me thought they were lying but another part of me sort of believed them. Nonetheless, I took the information they gave me and took it into consideration. Maybe Tobias was just using me, maybe he wasn't. All I knew in that moment was that I just wanted to go home and be alone. The amout of information and point of views I had received from others over the last few weeks was beginning to overwhelm me. I had so much to think about to begin with and it seemed as though everyone I spoke to added more for me to think about. It felt as though the gears in my brain were wearing out and I felt mentally exhausted. I didn't want to think about anything for a while, I just wanted to be.

For the rest of James and Lita's ramble I was mostly zoned out, not wanting to hear anymore of what they had to say. I began to think about going to the watchtower and how being there always seemed to soothe me. Yet now, it just reminded me of Tobias. I didn't want to see Tobias because he would just remind me of Ghost, which is the main thing that I am trying to avoid.

Once James and Lita took me home I was finally able to have peace inside my room. I put on a record and laid in my bed, just listening to the music and not thinking about anything else.

A/N: So, hi, it's been a while. I know this isn't the most exciting chapter to make a comeback with but hopefully there will be more exciting ones to come. Thank you to those who have been patient and not pushy about me updating, you guys have been wonderful. As always, thank you for the support on these silly little stories I write. Much love. X.