things change - byler

.16

4 weeks have passed, Mike and Will are still inseparable, they hang out all the time still. But Will is still questioning the fact of how he feels about mike? Does he really love him? It was Friday, august 2nd. They started school on Monday, Will was beyond nervous. He was excited to be at school with his friends and boyfriend, of course. But he was terrified of going to the same school as everyone that had ever bullied him. He almost wanted to move away again, but would rather be with his friends. Maybe they won't even notice him, right?

•••

Max was over with el and I, we were helping her pick out her first day at school outfit.
she put on jean shorts with a long sleeve, mustard yellow button up with a pair of white high top converse, the same ones I was wearing.
-"what about this?" She asks.
-"it's perfect." Max says.
el smiled before changing into her pajamas again.
-"what are you wearing on Monday, William?" She asked.
-"don't call me that. And nothing special." I said, eating the fries from McDonald's we were sharing.
-"Can we check your closet?" El asked.
before I could answer, they walked out of els room and into mine. I groan, having to get up and chase them.
When I walked in, they had already found something.
-"try this on."

i walked into the bedroom with the outfit they made me try on. It was an AC/DC shirt with my favorite pair of blue jeans, matched with red vans.
-"I like it, you should definitely wear it." They both smiled.
-"I can't wear the shirt." I smiled looking through my closet for another.
-"why not? It looks fine." El asked.
-"because... it's mikes." I mumbled.
-"so? Nobodies going to notice." Max said.
-"you don't know that. It's whatever, I'll just wear this." I said, pulling out a red, white, and dark green striped tee shirt.
They both rolled their eyes before continuing their attention on my television.
i was terrified of people finding out about us, like the thought of it made my heart pound out of my chest. I had so many of mikes shirts in my closet I almost forget which is mine, since now we fit the same size unlike we used to a few years back. I knew that this would be our last few days of being able to see each other everyday and be able to be affectionate. Cant do that at school.
but I've been really happy with mike, things have been getting better. It has been the best summer ever. I was sad it was about over, but we still have Halloween together and Christmas together, and then summer again.
i want to stop by his house today, just to surprise him and we would ride our bikes together to the arcade, since we all decided to go later again since max had the day off.
I hope he'll be excited to see me, his smile always brightens my day. I'm so happy with h-
-"whatcha thinking about?" El nudged my shoulder.
-"nothing." I smiled weakly, before watching the movie again.

•••

7 pm, after dinner, el and I began riding our bikes together. But I started to go through the woods which made her stop.
-"where are you going?" She asked.
-"uh, I'll meet you there. i have to stop somewhere." I said, driving through the path mike and I made through the woods that connected our house. We moved all the sticks and leaves off the ground to make space for our bikes.
i stopped outside and noticed his bike was still here, which meant he hasn't left yet. His parents cars were still here, and i didn't know if I really wanted to knock on the door, so I snuck up to his window. I climbed onto the trash can and jumped upon the roof and walked behind the house where his window was. I was about to knock when I saw his dad and mom in his room, yelling at him as he sat on his bed and listened.
I could faintly hear that they were saying.
-"you're so irresponsible!" Karen yelled, crossing her arms.
-"it was only half an hour!!" Mike yelled back.
-"half an hour too long, son. She's 6 years old!" His dad said, angrily.
-"do you have any idea what could've happened?She could hurt herself! You were supposed to be watching her!" His mom said in distress.
-"I don't know what you want me to say! I'm sorry!
I've said it a million times already." He crossed his arms.
-"one more push, son, and you're gone. you're out!"
-"are you fucking kidding me?!" He got up from the bed and yelled, getting in his dads face.
Ted grabbed his arm with one hand, and grasped his chin with the other.
-"you want a repeat?" he asked.
he let go of mike, pushing him away, and shutting the door as he left.
i saw mike, he was angry. he started kicking things around in anger and throwing things around.
I didn't know what to do, I can't handle anger like that. I just stood there, watching him take his anger out, it wasn't until i opened the window when I noticed him starting to cry and sit on his bed.
i shut the window behind me, sitting next to him and hugging him. He wasn't sobbing, he just sounded like he was panicking. He barley had tears, he was hyperventilating.
i noticed a water bottle in the corner of the room, so I walked over to grab it and gave it to him to calm him down.
-"how much of that did you see?" He asked, not looking me in the eye. I could tell he was embarrassed of himself.
-"uh, all of it.. I'm sorry Mike." I gritted my teeth, he was fidgeting with his fingers, anxiously. I held onto both of his hands to stop him, which made him look at me for the first time.
-"you can stay at my house tonight, if you want. And you don't have to go to the arcade tonight if you don't feel up to it." I told him.
-"I think I'll be okay, and I want to go. Let me get my shoes on, please?" he said, with a small tear dripping down his eye.
i nodded, wiping the tears with my thumb before he got ready.
i wasn't sure if he should've came out tonight, but he insisted on wanting to go. So we left out his window and we drove our bikes downtown, about 2 miles away.
I kept on looking over at him, just to make sure if he was okay. He looked pretty zoned out, but i couldn't stop him from coming, no matter how many times I asked.
we stopped our bikes outside, noticing that everyone was here already but they left us to go inside.
we walked in and watched max destroy Dustin on digdug. They noticed us walking in, and crossed their arms.
-"where were you guys?" Lucas asked.
-"probably sucking face in the woods." Dustin laughed.
-"ew, dustin." I said.
-"shut up!! I'm almost there." Max yelled.
we all took turns playing every game, I kept on looking over at mike. He seemed so.. happy. was it always like this? every time I see his smile, was it fake? is that what his real smile looks like?
we got food after playing for an hour and a half, at the pizza shack across the street, we all shared a medium pepperoni while eating in the grass hill next to the parking lot.
-"are you guys still joining the AV club this year?"
everyone agreed on signing up a few months back, except Lucas. But now he was saying he wanted to.
-"Lucas? I thought you had basketball." Max said.
-"I'm quitting, I'd rather have you guys then some douche bag jock friends." He said.
Dustin and mike slapped his back, playfully.
-"besides, not like you got any playing time." Dustin whispered under his breath.
-"what was that, dusty bun?" He teased, pressing Dustin's buttons.
-"what position were you? Left bench?" He asked.
Lucas reached to grab him, but missed. They ended up getting up and running around after each other. we all found it funny how Lucas caught up to him right away and tackled him to the floor.
-"idiots." Max laughed, with her mouth half full.
Lucas looked up while putting Dustin in chokehold while still on the floor.
-"oh hi, max." He playfully flirted, making her laugh.
-"yeah, hi max." He waved, smiling, making Lucas shove him to the ground.
they walked back over to eat, and after everyone was eating, we started splitting up to go home. As mike and I were passing his neighborhood, I stopped.
-"are you sure you're going to be okay, tonight?" I ask.
-"yeah, totally." he said, not convincing me in the slightest.
He climbed up his roof, before turning back around to me.
-"good night, will." he waved.
-"good night." I smiled, riding into the back woods.

when I got home, I quickly got dressed so I could go to sleep. But I kept tossing and turning in my bed, the way ted talks to mike gives me an uneasy feeling. I don't want mike to feel the way it feels to have a dad like that. It was stressing me out all night.

•••

i laid on my bed, with my back turned against the window. I hate my parents so much, I wish they would kick me out so I could have an excuse to never see them again. i fisted my hands, getting angry just thinking about them. But what made me calm down was a knock at my window. seeing the familiar face made me feel better, seeing the way his hazel eyes sparkled in the dark made me smile. i opened the window and he came in.
-"I told you I was fine." I said, grinning.
-"I don't care, I didn't want to leave you alone." He said, laying behind me in bed and wrapping his arms around me.
he rubbed my waist to help me calm down and go to sleep.
you'd think by now, I'd get sick of this. Of him always with me every day, 24/7. But I could never get sick of him.
if only that feeling would stick.
if only our moments like these would've lasted.
but unfortunately,
in a town like this, you can never be happy.

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