things change - byler

.19

i was in the ER, sitting on the bed a few hours later. My leg was wrapped in gauze. I sat in there by myself, thinking. I never stick up for myself like that. What would he have done if I didn't do that? would he have..
I don't even want to think about it. I cant tell anyone, especially mike. I don't think I ever want to speak about it. I'm terrified of them, more then I ever have.
my mom rushed into the room, hugging me.
-"what happened, honey??!" She asked panicking.
-"I just.. tripped." I lied.
-"over what?" El asked.
-"uhm.. in the storage room, I saw.. blades. From chemistry, the ones you dissect frogs and shit with? Yeah, I tripped over one while skipping study hall, and uh- at teacher noticed me. That's why I was running." I said, making the entire thing up on the spot.
it made sense, but by the looks of them they didn't believe me.
-"the wound looks bigger than that kind of blade." the doctor said.
-"so you don't believe me?" I asked, trying to act offended.
-"of course we believe you." Joyce said, before loud talking of 4 other kids came to the room running towards us.
-"what the fuck happened?" Lucas asked.
-"holy shit, your leg." Dustin gasped.
-"what is that?" Max asked.
mike noticed the link on my face, I was scared. he could tell I was terrified, but nobody else could. Mostly because I haven't really looked anyone in the eye.
-"the wound isn't infected, you can leave tonight if you choose. But we need you to come back next week, just to check on it. Replace the gauze every morning before anything, and put this on it to help close the wound." The doctor gave my mom a bottle of substance.
-"wait, so he's going to be fine?" Joyce asked.
-"yeah, it'll heal and scar within a month or so." He said calmly.
I saw my dad walk in, I almost forgot about him. I was disgusted at seeing his face.
mike never met my dad, but by the look on my face he knew it was him.
-"kids, why don't we let Will and his parents discuss for a bit, k?" He said, leading them out.
I heard them continuously ask him what happened to me, but I couldn't focus on them since my dad was right in front of me.
the doctor also left the room, soon after hop.
-"what are you doing here?" I cross my arms.
-"I wanted to apologize. I was a horrible father-"
-"where's Jonathan?" I ask my mom.
-"on his way from college." she said.
I knew he'd be here soon, his school is only 9 miles away.
-"you're my son, I never should've left you and your brother. I never should've drank as much as I did, I'm sorry." he said.
-"you're allowing him to be here?" I laughed, looking at my mom.
i started laughing, freaking the both of them out. I don't know why I'm laughing. It's just shock hitting me and everything that had just happened within the past day, it's too much for me.
-"get out. I never want to see you again." I said, starting to stop laugh."
he noticed the serious look on my face, but didn't stand up to leave. So I did.
I stood up and rushed out the door, my mom and friends chasing after me. I tried opening hoppers van, but the door was locked.
-"open the door." I crossed my arms at him.
he hesitated looking at my mom, before unlocking it.
el looked at our friends before jumping in after I got in. I crossed my arms all the way home as my mom tried to talk to me.
-"honey, he just wants a relationship with you."
-"no thanks." I sighed.
-"Will, he genuinely seems sorry this time."
-"exactly, mom. This time. This has happened over and over, I'm sick of it! Stop trying to pressure me into wanting to have a relationship with him!" I yelled at her, shocking her a little.
She didn't respond. The entire car ride home was silent, I couldn't stop thinking about everything. My mind was spiraling, I didn't know what to do with myself.
my leg ached, I felt violated, I felt uncomfortable. I was unbelievably happy like 5 hours ago. How can so many things happen within 2 hours ruin the way you think within seconds.
once we stopped outside, el tried to help me up to my room. It hurt, but i was still able to walk. But I didn't tell her to go away, I felt bad that she cared. I sat on my bed, and laid down on my stomach.
-"are you going to be okay? I heard what happened." she asked.
-"yeah, I just want to be alone." I said, flatly.

after long hesitation, she left my room. As soon as I heard the door close, I broke down crying into my pillow. i couldn't stop, they just fell down. My dads back. I was just assaulted. My mind was spinning, why me?
why is it always me?