Benchtrio's Amazing Guide to City Living | Ft. The Hermits & SBI

Tell me on which floor love lives

Today was a very weird day for both the heroes and the city in general. "Why?" you're asking? Because about five thousand goats had escaped the confines of the mountains and decided to move into the city. Permanently.

No one knows why this has happened but it's happened and all the shepherds are absolutely devastated. Not only that but the goats have been causing a huge mess in the districts by causing car accidents, trampling kids, raiding bakeries and nut shops as well as stealing people's shopping bags. Most parks have already been visited by the gigantic her, evident by the freshly mowed grass and naked bushes. Basically, they've made themselves at home. They'll be hanging their coats on the trees before you know it.

That is the problem the heroes and the locals have been facing for about an hour and a half. Either they are making sure no one got hurt or they are trying (and mostly failing) to wrangle the white little bastards. It's not just the lower ranking heroes who are helping, though. The Dream Team were the first ones to happen upon the goats. Here's how it happened:

It was a normal morning -they weren't even working! Their shift would start in an hour and so they were just doing a round around the city to see if anything was amiss. George insisted on bringing XD, claiming that he shouldn't be cooped up in the house for so long, so then the small blob of a god had hopped on Dream's shoulder and the four of them left the house.

Despite Dream and Sapnap's caution about basically letting a god roam free, XD proved to be worthy of their trust. He stayed on dream's shoulder the whole time and as a reward, Sapnap got him one of those fancy decorative umbrellas to shield himself from the sun (apparently, even gods could get sunburns, who would've thought?). Although, he did act like a toddler who had been taken to the toy store for the first time when they entered one of the many food districts downtown.

They had to stop at every vendor they came across. They had to see what they were selling and if it was sour or sweet. Every sweet went through a taste test performed by the three heroes before landing in the greedy hands of XD. Well. In the space where his hands should be. Today, XD wanted to try Japanese cuisine; all the culture talks with Sapnap and the pretty and delicious, drool-inciting pictures of Kinoko's (Bad and Sapnap's homeland) most expensive dishes the demon showed him the day before did their part in working up the god's relentless appetite.

So they worked their way through the vendors, going from salmon sushi, noodles and rolled omelets to mochi, wagashi and green tea cookies. Honestly, none of them have ever been so happy to have their civilian identities hidden from the public than they did when they were ordering the various food items one after the other. It's one thing to buy one or two things to eat but a kilos worth of food may be passing the limit in spite of XD's opinion.

They had just bought the little blob a stick of botchan dango, the little bastard already biting off as big chunks as his (invisible) small mouth could house, when this disaster struck. When the goats appeared in the roads, white and black four-legged creatures flowing down the main road like a fucking river.

Of course, they all knew what this meant. Every hero knew.

They'd been expecting a sign for a long time now, ever since he escaped from Pandora -the fucking bastard somehow managed to escape Pandora a month or so after he'd been shoved in one of the most secure cells in the damn prison. He had been put in a straight jacket, feet and hands held together by chains instead of leather straps, an iron shock collar that activated when the prisoner exited the cell without an escort, constantly under the supervision of the one and only Warden -a hero from whom no villain got away from.

They should've been more careful with him, for God's sake. They didn't even see the fucking mechanical mantis come from the depths of the ocean surrounding the prison.