what the fuck

3

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told how someone died

Its your best friends obligated duty to clear your computer history when you die

There is no way to perfectly fold a fitted sheet (I mean have you tried to lately?)

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....  

Bad decisions make great stories

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.  

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?  

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I would bet my next paycheck that everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...