Be The Last To Kiss My Lips (COMPLETE)

Say your good-byes

Everybody was happy. It seemed that the transplant had worked. We just had to give it sometime. I was on cloud nine, thinking that maybe Tyler and I could finally be together. I cared about what the people who matter would say, but I guess I'd be stupid to not do what made me happy after being given another chance at life.

Ruby would come around. There was nothing she wouldn't do for two of the people she loved the most in the world. She'd understand.

My parents would always accept me for who I was. All was good if I wasn't on the hospital bed fighting for my life.

Tyler's parents? I had no idea.

All the thoughts of being with Tyler gave me goosebumps. I was as happy as I'll ever be. Then like a nightmare, I couldn't breathe. My vision was spinning, I was fighting for air, I was fighting for life. I was fighting for Tyler.

The room filled with Doctors and Nurses, they were desperately trying to save my life. Trying to stabilize me.

My family, Ruby and Tyler were standing outside the room, watching. My mom was crying in my dad's arms. Ruby stared with wide eyes and Tyler's eyes were red, his face twisted in pain.

I just wanted a chance... A chance to tell them all, I love you.

One last breath and everything went dark.

~

Miraculously, my eyes fluttered open, I was alive! The room I was in was different, it was darker, there were more machines in here. My breathing was being assisted by a nasal cannula. There was a pulse oximeter attached on my index finger, an IV attached on my arm, cardiopulmonary monitor on my chest and blood pressure monitor on my arm. My guess was, I was in the ICU. This can't be good.

My mom and dad were the first ones to visit me when I woke up, they were both obviously broken by whatever news Doctor Amid told them. My mom was crying, a lot, she couldn't control it. While my dad tried his best not to cry.

"How bad is it?" I asked, even my voice sounded alien to me.

Mom reached out to touch me, then backed off. Then she left. She obviously couldn't do this anymore. My dad and I stayed in an uncomfortable silence. I missed the comforting words he used to say, like we'll get through this together... His comforting lies.

He left and came back with Doctor Amid. The Doctor was going to explain the situation to me and I guess my dad needed to be there for comforting and all that.

I wasn't sure I was ready to know. I knew I was screwed. However, I didn't have much choice. When the Doctor told me what was going on in my body, I broke down and cried.

He advised me to say my good-byes. There was NOTHING they'd do at this point. The bone marrow transplant clearly didn't work, chemo was a no go, the cancer cells were multiplying faster than ever. I was dying.

"It could be months," he said. That's as long as I had to live.

And I was going to make the most out of that.

Which was why I convinced my parents to ask Doctor Amid to discharge me. He explained that being discharged would shorten the already short period of life I had left. But I wasn't going to spend the rest of my days in a hospital bed.

~

At home, everything was normal, well as normal as it could be. There were occasional breakdowns, my mom especially but I appreciated everyone trying to be strong for me. I on the other hand was doing great, if you overlook the constant nosebleeds, infections, stomachaches that resulted in a lot of sleepless nights. But I've come to peace with the fact that I was dying.

I hadn't seen Tyler though. He was avoiding me. I could only guess why. But I was worried about him, big time.

I only ever see him when he comes to either drop or pick Ruby up. And I missed him a lot.

On a Saturday, I was feeling good to drive so I drove down to Ruby's. She was still sleeping even when it was way past lunch time. Tyler was in his room, as expected.

I knocked, and the response I got was, "go away!" I snickered, pushing the door open. "I said I'm not hungr-" he froze when he saw me, "oh, hi." He was suddenly nervous, eyes darting all over the room.

"Hi." I sat down on his bed. "Are we okay?" I checked.

His eyes softened, "I'm sorry I've been distant."

"I understand." I intertwined our fingers.

"No you don't." He released a shaky breath, "it hurts seeing you like this," his voice broke, "it physically hurts." He pulled out his hand.

I grabbed his hand again and played with it, "I have weeks, maybe days remaining," I swallowed, "can we make the most of it?"

He looked into my eyes, as I did the same, I could read pain in his. A moment later, he grumbled something like I can't do this and left.

"Ty," I sighed but didn't follow him into the bathroom.

Ruby walked into the room then, "I didn't know you were here." She said yawning and rubbing her eyes.

"Hi." I smiled.