Empyrean Iris Story Collection Vol. 4

Reason for the Rules

Heelies, wheelies, roller-skates, rollerblades, skateboards, scooters are prohibited in the halls and in the cargo bay, the last time someone tried it, they almost fell on top of the airlock button and killed us all...

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Several Years Ago

Two weeks out into his first voyage in space, two weeks as the captain of his own actual ship. Did he wake up every day giddy? Did he sing in the shower out of delight? Did he play the empyreal march as he walked down the halls and onto the bridge? Was the imperial march mostly ruined by the fact that he was skipping the whole way?

He would deny the answers to most of those questions if directly asked, but it was understood, and today he thought his entrance onto the bridge deserved a little more flare.

An important fact about Captain Vir.

As a child he had unusually large feet, which luckily for him had stopped growing early on, and he had eventually grown into them. That meant that he was wearing a size 12 freshman year of high school, which was a site to see considering he had been about a foot and a half shorter than he was now and much skinnier. However, the good thing about his poor days as a gangly clown-footed, thirteen-year-old.... He still fit into his old shoes.

And that meant.

His old heelies.

To say that particular item of clothing was vintage would be a bit of an understatement. The design was basically ancient dating back to antiquity. Most kids had hover shoes these days, even most cars did, so wheels were entirely last epoch, however, he had seen images of some in his mother's old textbooks, where she had studied 21st century fashion. The 20th and 21st century was popular in Mericanda that year. A lot of scholars would tell you it was because the years following world war two and before world war three were, with some exception, the most peaceful years that developed western civilization ever had, and now denim and flannel, leather, and varsity jackets were back in style as an attempt to bring back the good times.

Adam himself was lucky since he had been born in the actual most peaceful time in earth history, following the end of the PanAsian war, and so when he asked his mother for a pair of wheeled shoes for his birthday, she obliged. Now about a decade old the shoes were still in pretty okay condition. He played with them as he walked down the hall, getting a small running start and then gliding for a bit across the floor.

He was wobbly ad a bit out of practice, but it wasn't too bad.

The bridge of the harbinger was just up ahead, and right on cue the imperial march started.

He entirely intended to wheel into the room all slow and menacing with his hands behind his back, but his enthusiasm got away with him. Instead of the slow gliding entrance he had intended, he came rocketing into the room arms flailing over his head and screaming incoherently as he flailed around. At one point he lost his balance and slammed stomach first into one of the bridge railings feet slipping out from under him.

He found himself draped over the bar like a wet towel as the crew staired on in awkward silence.

Two things Adam had learned since becoming a captain. People take cues from other people, and the environment of the room entirely depends on how the most powerful person behaves . So if he wanted to be embarrassed he would have to act embarrassed. If he wanted this to be funny, he had to laugh, that was the rule. If you do something stupid and act embarassed, other people will be embarrassed for you. Do something stupid and laugh about it, other people will lik you more.

At this point on his ship, the crew didn't know how to take him yet.

A lot of them had worked under captain, now Admiral kelly, on the last voyage, and she had been a hardcore badass. Adam had contemplated trying to be a badass and then remembered who he was and gave up on that idea almost immediately.