Empyrean Iris Story Collection Vol. 4

The Dos and Don'ts of Humans

The Dos and Don'ts of Living With a Human

A Guide

Written By Kanan Lanusson

Distributed by: The Silver Sky Network

Partnered with: Caelum

The dos and don'ts of humans. Safety and friendship with a friendly predator species.

Do Not.

Do not: Be mean to a human. This should go without saying, but there are some ut there who consider treating others poorly to be a matter of business acumen, and a way to move projects forward. However, this sort of behavior may not work with humans. While it is true that humans are vastly different from person to person, the average human does have their breaking point and are known to be vindictive. Humans are intelligent and quick thinking, and have a knack for legal sabotage.

Do not: sleep deprive your human. Now a human might also be willing to do such things to themselves, so encouraging human sleep may be ideal. But humans require sleep to function properly. A sleepless human may be clumsy, irritable, and with less sleep comes a significant drop in IQ and processing ability. A sleepy human may be dangerous in a work environment and can pose a safety hazard. A human is as much a liability sleepless as they are a boon when well rested.

Do not: Isolate a human. Humans are pack animals, and are used to at least some measure of contact during their day. While humans do not like being crowded, or have their space infringed upon, most humans enjoy living within close proximity to each other where they may have daily interactions, small conversations, play games, or even have meals together. Depending on the human, the amount of socialization required may vary. Some humans may require constant companionship from others outside their zone of influence, while other humans may accept a phone call on occasion. There are plenty of humans that also prefer to be left alone for the vast majority of the time, and receive what amounts to social interaction through television, or books. We encourage you to ask a human if you are unsure

Do Not: make a human angry. Now this isn't to create a panic and tell you that a human will attack you when angered. Humans are just ike the rest of us and responses may vary. Now there is a small majority of humans that may attack if provoked, but you are unlikely to meet a human with such aggressive, unjustified, tendencies who has been allowed off earth. Even if a human is to make a physical move towards you, it is unlikely to be immediately fatal. An open hand slap or a closed fist punch are the most common, and will hurt, but for humans, is less likely to be fatal and more a sign of frustration, or situational dominance. However, an angry human may also cease communication, intentionally reduce the speed or productivity of their work. Additionally they are more likely to become socially aggressive. As a social species, the use of their social nature as a tool, or even a weapon is not uncommon. They may seek to ridicule, disagree with, or pass hurtful comments to you in return. Again, though, this varies from human to human, and while some humans may grow aggressive, others might isolate, and you can potentially make a human cry.

Do not: yell at a human. This goes hand in hand with the instruction above, but it is worth mentioning that most humans do not respond well to raised voices. Historically raised voices for humans indicates, anger, aggression, fear or otherwise. Yelling at a human will cause anxiety, fear, or anger. Due to their social nature, yelling in an angry/or aggressive way can cause embarrassment, hurt or even panic in humans. Some humans may respond aggressively, but it is not uncommon for a human to cry in response to a raised voice. You are less likely to see this off of earth, but it is still possible.

Do Not: Make a human cry. While we are on the subject, don't make a human cry, much for the same reasons as not making a human angry. Hurting a human emotionally may result in a lack of cooperation from the indicated human. They are very unlikely to like you if you directly cause this behavior. Now it should be noted that a human may cry for reasons other than fear, anger or sadness, but it is clear that you must avoid the negative reasons. In certain circumstances it is a good idea to avoid this all together as a crying human may become a walking biohazard.

Do Not: Keep a human in the dark. Humans require starlight to form specific vitamin compounds important to their health. To keep a human in the dark may result in severe unforeseen medical conditions. If aboard a ship, the use of certain lighting may replace starlight for this function.

Do Not: Chew loudly. This may seem odd, but the number of human that indicate a distaste for excessive mouth noises is unprecedented. If you chew too loudly, you run the risk of a human permanently disliking you for no other reason. It may seem small, but it is certainly something large to avoid.

Do

Do: Talk to and interact with your human. Again this will depend on the human, and you may have to work on reading human social cues, but in general, talking with and interacting with your human is important. Engaging them in conversation is a good start, asking questions, and speaking about things outside and unrelated to the work environment. Evite your human to sit with you while you eat a meal. Mealtime for humans may be considered a social event, and many humans form small packs and sit together while eating. Additionally, you may invite your human to participate in other activities you may enjoy. Humans are often fond of games, discussions, and other outside experiences. Generally speaking interact with your human unless they otherwise indicate a preference against the interaction.

Do: Provide your human with a variety of food. This may seem minor, but the lack of choices may bore a human and reduce their desire to eat. Additionally they may participate in actively looking for new food which may be dangerous. If you plan on living on a ship for an extended period of time, this may not be so important, as the human is likely prepared for this scenario. Otherwise, the use of new foods may be a good enrichment for a human.

Do: provide activities of interest to a human. Humans who get bored may become destructive or even depressed. Providing entertainment such as games, books, internet, or crafting supplies may be important for the health of a human. Humans enjoy making things, finishing tasks and feeling accomplished even if those tasks are self assigned. Encourage the practice of hobbies. Who knows, maybe you might get something out of the deal.

Do: Keep your human in the loop. Humans like being involved, and they like knowing what is going on. The smallest change in a human's environment may be a cause for concern.

Do: Create a safe space for a human to sleep/relax in. Most humans, while social creatures, can also be territorial about their own space. Even if this is simply a bunk or a single room where a human might relax, be sure to make the environment safe and comfortable where they do not have to worry about anything or anyone dangerous. Giving a human a safe place to relax and unwind is important for metal stability.

Do: Consider hosting at least one other human. Humans are social, and do not necessarily require their own kind, but it is something to consider for their happiness. However, do this at your discretion because pairing humans may also result in messy romantic entanglements.... Then again this does not necessarily require another human in some cases, so be advised.

Do: Listen to a human's advice. Not all humans are knowledgeable or even all that smart, but much of the time, humans are generally helpful, and wish to impart knowledge. Many humans are experts in a chosen field, and may have extensive experience with the situation at hand. Either way human's like to be listened to and acknowledged, so take their advice at your discretion, but at least consider hearing them out.

Do: Provide a space where humans may clean themselves. Humans run on a range of cleanliness, but it is likely that most humans you meet will appear personally clean. However, this takes some effort, unlike the Vrul or Gibb. Humans naturally produce a multitude of waste products. Other than the obvious culprits, this includes skin and hair oils, sweat, dead skin cells, mucus, and blood in certain cases. Humans are also known to have extensive bacterial biomes on their skin and in their digestive tract from start to finish. It is imperative you give a human a place where they can clean or wash themselves, or they may become and unpleasant walking biohazard, which will include offensive smells, and oily interactions. Additionally, this is a matter of health for a human as, out of control hygiene may result in skin infections, sickness, and in severe cases, death.

Do: Provide supplemented foods for a balanced diet specifically in vitamin C. The lack of food groups may cause deteriorated health in humans. One of these being vitamin C which may result in a condition known as Scurvy, common in early long distance voyages. Scurvy may result in bleeding gums, and the inability to maintain scar tissue which will result in bleeding and other symptoms

Do: ask questions. May species across the galaxy get their information on humans third hand through a pamphlet like this. So please be encouraged to talk to your human, ask them questions, and learn more as this list is by no means exhaustive.