Silent Cries (Niam)

Chapter 9

Niall woke up in Liam s bed, unsure of where he was. But at that moment, he couldn't care less. His wrists were itching, and he knew what he had to do. He climbed out of the bed, stumbling arkund in the dark as he looked for a bathroom. He hit somwthing with his foot and tripped, nearly falling. He heard something stir and felt someone grab his ankle.

"Niall?" Liam s sleepy voice called out Niall tried to pull his leg away by failed, Liam being undeniably stronger than him.

"Where are you going mate?" Liam asked, sitting up and wishing he fould see Niall. But it hadn't been dark when he had went to sleep so he hadn't though to turn on a light.

Niall rubbed the bandages on his wrists tiredly. "Just the bathroom." It wasn't a lie. That was where he was going. Liam hadn't asked why.

Liam was relieved to hear that Niall was inly going t the bathroom. He had been worried that the blonde boy would sneak off in the middle of the night, before they had a chance to properly talk. He let go of Nialls ankle, standing up beside him.

"Here, I'll show you where it is. My hoise can be tough to navigate in the dark." Liam placed his hand gently on Nialls back and led him through the room je knew so well. Nialls heart was beating much to quickly to be justified as normal, but Liam didn't seem to notice. He was much too occupied trying to navigate his room in the dark without letting Niall stumble. After a couple of minutes, he managed to make it to the light switch and flip it, light up his room. Liam spared a quick glance at his watch to see it was well past 3 am.

"The bathroom is just through that door." Liam gestured to an open doorway and Niall nodded, hesitantly walking inside. He hated cutting himself in someone else's house, and while he was resigned to that, he really didn't want to have Liam sitting outside while he did it. But he could feel the skin on his wrists burning, needing the attention of the small razor he always kept with him would provide. He closed the door slowly, turning the lock. Tiredly, he reached into the pockets of the jeans he had still been wearing when he fell asleep. But he disnt feel the razor he always had. Panickedly, he patted his pockets, turning them inside out, desperately looking for the blade. It wasn't there, and Niall remembered that Liam had taken it. He remembered sitting on the bathroom floor in tears, and Liam rinsing his blade before pocketing it. And Niall bet Liam still had It. He searched through the cabinets, looking for something that would suffice. Finding nothing, he became desperate and began digging through the trash. His eyes shot open as he felt something prick his finger, drawing blood. He smiled and carefully removed the large shard of glass from the trash can. It looked to be a shard of a lightbulb, but Niall wasn't too worried about that at that moment in time. He needed the pain, The blood. And he needed it now.

He pulled up the sleeves of his hoodie, revealing the bloody bandag3s. They desperately needed changed, but Niall didn't know where he could get any other ones. She he simply filled the sink with water and set them to soak. He turned to look at them. Even he could tell they looked bad, cuts covering the skin and scars in the few places that were unmarred by current pains. The sight was disgusting, yes, but Niall knew he was just as disgusting, if not even more so, than his wrists.

His hand shaking, je set the glass against his skin, drawing a drop of blood as he gently pressed it into his flesh. He whimpered as he felt the pain, and involuntary action he wished that he would have learned t control by now. But he slowly drug the sharp shard across the skin, biting his lip hard to keep from crying. The scab from biting throigh his lip the day before burst, leaving him with the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. He forced himself to pull the shard further, knowing that he deserved it, and knowing the pain would soon bring him the sweet relief je craved. But before he could make it much farther, he felt the blade pulled away fron him, lifted carefully so that it didn't cause any more harm to his already damaged wrists. Strong, now familiar arms wrapped around him and he tried to pull away. He didn't want to cry, je didn't want to be hugged, he didn't want Liam s comfort, he didn't want anything right now other than the control of the pain. And right now, for the first time, that was being taken away from him. He lashed out at Liam, not even sure what he was doing. All he knew for sure was that he needed to cut, and Liam was keeping him from it.

"Stop!" Liam demanded, holding Nialls wrists in place. Niall stopped thrashing, stunned by the harshness in his voice. "You're so beautiful Niall. So ******* beautiful. You dont need to do this." Liam s voice had softened, and Niall could see the tears in his eyes as he spoke. "You're so beautiful." He repeated softly. Niall reached over, and wiped away Liam s tears, causing him to look up at him.

"Dony cry over me." He demanded softly. "I'm not worth it."

"You're worth every tear Niall, and I wish you could see that. I wish you could see how beautiful you really are. I wish you could understand that." Liam assured him, the tears not stopping.

"You don't even know me." Niall stated, his voice soft with pity for the boy who he had caused to much trouble for. He hated that this boy was lying through his teeth to make him feel better. He hated himself for causing Liam so many problems. But Niall was used to self loathing and it didn't really affect him on the outside. But the need to cut increased.

"I know you well enoigh to know that you are beautiful. And you don't need this Niall, as much as you think you Do." Liam held his arms in front of him, staring at the scabs, the scars and the open cut.

Niall bit on his lip. Liam didn't get it. Liam didn't understand how the blade helped Niall. But Niall couldn't argue any more. He couldn't trouble Liam any more. It would be cruel and Liam didn't deserve any more trouble in his life. He didn't know what To tell him. He couldn't say he would stop, that would be lying. He couldn't tell Liam that he couldn't stop either, because Liam would hate that. So he jist Sat there.

"I know it's hard Niall. But I'm going to show you that this isn't the solution." Liam pulled Niall to his chest and picked up the shorter boy. He left the glass on the ground and carried Niall to his room. He could explain to his mom later, she would understand. But from now on, he wasn't letting Niall out of his sight. He pulled Niall into his bed and curled up next to him, holding the blonde boy in his arms. It was comfortable, even for Niall, who's wrists still pitched for the feel of his blade. But in Liam's arms, he could almost forget the need. At least he could ignore it well enough that as Liam s breaths slowed, Niall drifted off to sleep as well. So far, his relationship with Liam had been full of blood and tears and sadness, but beneath all that, there was maybe something there. And while they hadn't kissed like Harry and Louis had been led to believe, they had bonded more than either of them had believed it possible to bond with a stranger in one day. And maybe that, rather than the tears or the blood, was a sign of what was to come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really have no excuse for not updating in a long time. Friend troubles, tests, other stories, all are true, but none worthy of not writing. But I really am very sorry.