Irhaboggle Pride (2022) Gaylor Swift's Version

Gold Rush, Superstar

Even though Shilo could only watch from her TV, Blind Mag's cybernetic eyes were still absolutely hypnotic to watch. And even though Mag was in the middle of another aria, Shilo could only think one thing: Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting I almost jump in...But, there were two reasons Shilo didn't. For one, it wasn't exactly easy to get close to the famous singer, even without her father imposing impossibly tight restrictions on how often she was allowed to go outside (which was never). For another...

Shilo just didn't like a gold rush. She didn't like how flustered Mag could make her just by singing or looking into the camera. And she got jealous thinking of all the other fans Mag had, fans that were much closer to Mag's orbit than she was. Shilo knew she was just one of millions who wanted Mag, and who wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with her, and Shilo hated remembering how insignificant she was in the grand scheme of things, compared to those other millions of fans. She didn't like having a celebrity crush on Mag just because it always hurt when reality set back in. Even if she did have a chance to actually meet Mag, there was no way Mag would ever choose her.

But even though Shilo didn't like a gold rush, even though she knew it was wrong, nothing felt more right. She couldn't help but wish she could see Mag's face, and not just through a TV screen. She'd known from the first note Mag sang that she'd break all of her rules, and her father's, just to see her. There finally came a time when the perfect opportunity presented itself.

Her father would be away for a few days, a business trip, he said. As soon as he was out the door, Shilo compiled every valuable thing she could find that she knew her father wouldn't miss and quickly pawned it off. In return, she bought a ticket, and then suddenly, she was at one of Blind Mag's concerts. Her smile was even more breathtaking in person! As Mag walked past, having gone down the center isle before mounting the stage, Shilo was close enough to feel her brush by and suddenly, everything went in slow-motion and she saw in double-vision, blushing once again.

All the folks on the front row screamed her name and the spotlights were tinted yellow, a literal gold rush from above. Although it was beautiful, Shilo couldn't help but secretly wish, despite its impossibility, that Mag would ignore the spotlight to look at Shilo instead and say things like, "I can't take my eyes off of you, Shilo," and then she would bring Shilo up on stage with her. She could already see them padding across the wooden floor, with Mag's concert posters hanging on the door. Perhaps she would give one to Shilo and autograph it, so she could hang it on her wall after the show was over and she finally went home.

Or maybe, even better and even crazier yet, Mag would invite her to the concert's afterparty. She'd call Mag out on her great intelligence, because anyone with ears could hear that not only did Mag have a lovely voice, but lovely lyrics as well. And even when she was giving speeches rather than singing opera, her words were still so eloquent, inspiring, and lovely. She truly was beautiful inside and out, and the island town they'd wander around would never see a love as pure as theirs.

But...Shilo was no one special. Just another wide-eyed girl who was desperately in love with Blind Mag. She was hardly unique in that regard. Her fantasy faded into the gray of a hazy dream because she knew it would never be...At best, in her quest to talk to Blind Mag, a message in a bottle, some fan mail, was all she could do, only hoping that it would get to her.

Sure enough, when the concert was over, there was nothing left for Shilo to do except sneak back home. It was a lonely night and an even lonelier morning. Even though Shilo was fortunate enough to attend a concert that just so happened to coincide with her father's business trip, all of that good luck had to be balanced out with "bad luck".

While she woke up slowly the next morning, she knew Mag was already in another town. The island already felt lonelier without her, even though it wasn't as if she and Shilo were close anyway. But she'd still known from the first time she saw Mag's face, finally in person, it would be something she never forgot, and she'd be counting down the ways and days to see her again someday.

But even though Mag was far away, she was still very present in Shilo's mind.

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes. And you've sang in bars, you've won my heart.

It really wasn't good for her to idolize the singer so much, she knew that. I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are. My mind turns your life into folklore, I can't dare to dream about you anymore, 'cause you'll never see how you sing me to sleep, every night on the radio...

But just because Shilo's head knew something, that didn't mean her heart would obey. She was still desperately in love with Mag, just like everyone else who wondered what it would be like to love her. She was jealous of all Mag's fans, but she would keep dreaming even though she ran the risk of a rude awakening when reality set back in. And then it would fade into an old daydream because it could, and would, never be.

Even though she told herself not to, Shilo suddenly found herself holding the remote. The TV clicked on, and there she was again. Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters...

Shilo hated how seeing Mag's smile and laugh suddenly made her want to frown and cry. But she watched Mag for several minutes more.

So inviting...

She didn't put the remote down, at least not until she clicked the TV off again.

I almost jump in...

Shilo hated a gold rush. But...Mag would still always be her sweet, sweet superstar...

AN: This is an ode to every useless lesbian that has had a crush on a Really Pretty Lady Celebrity.

Honestly, I had a HUUUUUGE crush on Mag when I first discovered Repo. It was BAD, LOL! I really was just like Shilo, except even SHILO was more composed (if Mag showed up to MY house, I would NOT be coherent enough to duet with her LOL).

She was my first girl-crush and my most intense celebrity-crush, although honestly, and funnily enough, I still would not realize I was queer until I found out about Wicked (Glinda/Elphaba) a few years later, LOL.

IDK how I was that oblivious, but I definitely was. I really am Shilo. ("A little glass vial?")