Chapter 21| Suicide letters
"Better hurry
'Cause I'm leaving soon"
— Listen before I go, Billie Eilish
𑁍Nova𑁍
"Gracey? Can I come in?" Rune knocks. I just finished taking a heavenly bath and my tired body can barely drag me to the bed
"Yes" I answer quickly wiping my tears. I haven't stopped crying, I'm working on blocking my feelings because I'm feeling so so heavy
Rune comes in and throws himself on the bed beside me. His eyes have black circles under them, his hair is rumpled and he stinks. I tell him as much
"I wouldn't stink so bad if I didn't spend the last three days looking for you, you little slug" he pinches my good side
His smile is definitely forced, it falls not even a second after appearing
"What can I do Gracey? How can I help you get better?" His voice breaks
I close my eyes and throw my arms around him as he starts to shake with his cries
"I don't know Rune, I don't know how to fix myself" I whisper
"Then let us help you, I can't lose you. I can't"
Oh Rune, how can I tell him that I'm more dead than alive? That I feel like this...this rot is spreading inside me and I'm so tired I just want everything to stop
I want it to be over
"You won't" I whisper, but I know it's just one more lie
"Promise me" he asks but I don't have to lie again because Joel comes in with his bag
"Hey kid, ready?" He asks watching me closely, like he's ready for me to snap any time
I nod at him and Rune makes room, half an hour later I'm all patched up and ready to sleep but my twin makes me go downstairs with him
He says there's something they have to tell me after I eat. I can't help the bitter feeling inside me that tells me I'm getting kicked out for good
That they want nothing to do with me because I screwed up for the thousandth time
"How are you feeling?" My dad asks, quickly wiping his eyes as soon as I come down
"Better" I say taking a seat on a stool, I frown as I see Rafael outside with his head bowed. Santi is with him, he looks like he's calming him down
"Want some lemonade?" Lucas startles me, I hadn't noticed he was putting a plate in front of me
"No, thanks...I could've just gone to sleep with the plate of soup from earlier you know?" I say giving him a small smile
He looks surprised, have I never smiled at him?
"Umm, yeah I guess but you need fuel to recover" he sniffs, looking away
"I'll take that lemonade" Joel, uncle Joel, says breaking the tension. He whispers something at Luc, I only manage to catch a 'suspect...wrong' and then 'just breathe'
YOU ARE READING
Nova Grace
Random"Give me three months Nova, only three months and I'll show you what having a family is. That this life - despite all the pain you've endured - is worth living" Emilio, my father, whispers into the cold night He walks with cautious steps as I stand...
