𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐗𝐢𝐚𝐨 ―𝐠. 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭

11 || His Kiss

Xiao sat silently to your left, and you, too, remained quiet, closing your eyes as you let your mind hover over the past. Every so often, you felt Xiao's shoulder brush against yours, and you could feel the toned muscles relaxing beside you.

It was comforting.

"How are your hands?" the Adeptus suddenly murmured, his voice quiet and tentative.

You raised them slightly, glancing down at the small cuts on your palms. Because there was no pain after the few seconds your nails dug into your skin, you forgot that the wounds were even there. Even as a mortal vessel, your body had high healing capacities compared to the likes of humans, and you had cleaned the wound earlier in the river.

"Just small cuts," you remarked. "Nothing to be worried about." You were about to drop your hands back onto your lap when Xiao grabbed them, brushing back your curled fingers to examine the injuries. His eyes narrowed, and he took out bandages from within his pants pockets, wrapping them around your palm. Although his hands were rough with callus, he bandaged quite skillfully and gently.

A weary chuckle escaped your lips.

"Have our roles reversed?" you muttered, too tired to talk any louder. The Adeptus ignored your question as he tucked in the end of the dressing. With his own hand holding one of yours, he guided it back to the ground and leaned back against the tree, facing the river. His thumb traced over the bandages on your knuckles, and you couldn't determine whether he was doing this consciously or not; regardless, it brought warmth to your heart.

"You should take better care of your hands," Xiao said from beside you. "They are important for a doctor." His words were blunt, but you could hear the worry laced in them.

"Mhm," you hummed in response.

The two of you watched the water move along the land, the breeze fluttering the cat tails with it. The heavy weight in your chest wavered uncomfortably so, and you breathed a deep sigh, wishing that it would go away quicker. Surely, as a god, you shouldn't be strung on human emotions. But the ache in your heart told you otherwise. You were pathetic.

"Dr. (y/n)..." Xiao trailed off. "No, Lord Buer-"

"Don't call me that," you interjected, shaking your head. Tears were threatening to fall down your face, the uneasy feeling clawing again at your chest and the negativity swirling in your head. "I do not deserve to be called by that godly name."

Unexpectedly, you felt heat press against your right cheek as soon as those words left your lips. You realized quickly that Xiao's hand was holding your face, and his body was leaning dangerously close over you, blocking your view of the river. His amber eyes flickered from your lips to your eyes.

The two of you remained like that for a few seconds until Xiao began rubbing slow circles with his thumb, and you sighed into his touch. You had no energy to ask him what he was doing.

You closed your eyes.

Grief is an inevitable thing. Even amongst immortal gods, the final breath, the final goodbye, the final smile of a sane, soulful vessel--they were all inevitable. The death of Guizhong, the first person to ever show you the warmth of friendship, was inevitable. The death of Elder Cho, the first person to take you in after you fled Liyue, was inevitable. The deaths of thousands of patients in your care, they were all inevitable. But even then, you mourned for every one of them. There was no such thing as desensitizing to death. The forever loss of someone close would never leave your heart.

Your grief took shape in the form of a single teardrop that laid on the edge of your eyelid. How funny, you thought, that an immortal was mourning death.

Beside you, Xiao saw your quivering body as you suppressed a cry, and he slowly leaned in closer. You could smell the oddly comforting scent of almonds lingering around him, his rough, teal hair tickling your face. Everything was dark save for his glowing eyes that focused on yours. You wondered for a moment if the relaxing of your mind had anything to do with his caressing hand or the heat of his body.

You felt him pause.

Then you felt his body pull closer. Warmth touched your face. Xiao lightly planted a kiss on the crease of your eye where the tear hung.

After a second, the Adeptus pulled away as he licked his lips, tasting the saltiness of your tear, and he dropped his hand. The two of you locked eyes. There was a tenderness in his half-lidded eyes that pulled you in, compelling you to melt into his embrace. You understood now the meaning of "eyes are the windows to the soul." Although his expression was almost the same with his usual somber features, the softness in his eyes changed the entire atmosphere. Where were those sharp, cold eyes that you saw during your first meeting? 

You almost fell for the silent affection, but you dismissed it as your exhaustion catching up to you. Falling for a patient...what were you doing?

You looked away.

"Did it make you uncomfortable?" Xiao asked, his amber eyes continuing to stare at you with a piercing gaze. His voice oozed of honey, and you couldn't help but wonder if his voice was always this soothing.

"You caught me off guard," you replied. "I didn't see you as a type to do that."

"Because I am not." The Adeptus' answer made you glance back at him, but his unreadable expression made it hard for you to understand anything. As if he knew what you were thinking, Xiao continued, "I hoped it would help you much like you helped me."

You realized he was talking about the night before, and you laughed airily. To think that the uptight Yaksha would kiss you simply because of-

"And, I had an urge to do so."

You blinked, surprised. There was a faint blush dusting Xiao's cheeks that didn't go unnoticed, prompting a tired smirk to form on your face. If it weren't for the emotionally-draining moment just an hour ago, you would've gladly teased the young Adeptus; but alas, you were still wearied and unwilling to do more. In the end, you only rested your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

"I wonder what that could mean," you whispered hoarsely, smiling slightly.

While Xiao remained silent, he withdrew his body and leaned back on the tree beside you. You could feel the air around you get colder as a breeze fluttered by, but you didn't mind; his fingers found their way to yours, and he gave a small squeeze. You squeezed back.

Stifling an awkward cough, the Yaksha announced, "Call my name, and I will be there when you need."

"...Little Xiao, is that a promise?" you asked, looking up at the stars.

"I fulfill the promises I make," Xiao said with a nod. He looked down at your hands and traced the bandages once more with his thumb. "Call my name anywhere, anytime. I will be there."

You could tell by the placement of a few constellations that it was almost midnight, meaning you'd been sitting for a few hours with Xiao. Time flew fast. Was it because you were so relaxed around him?

"We both talked a lot about sensitive topics. I'm a bit tired now," you murmured, freeing your hand from Xiao's as you rose from the ground. You could feel yourself losing consciousness, and you felt like sleeping in a bed for the night. With a smile, you watched the Yaksha stand up as well.

"It's getting late. Let's go back."