15 || A God's Lifetime

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a/n: the story about the creation of the chasm is entirely made up by me haha. not canon

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You leaned back in your chair and sipped your tea as the illuminated beast explained.

"Once was that area as deep and as blue as the ocean. However, four thousand years ago when the council of Celestia deducted much of Buer's powers, they personally desecrated the castle in the sky, fragmenting much of it. One of the nails descended onto the lands and ingrained itself into the depths of the lake, creating the underground mines with its energy. Then, during the Archon War, the forestry of the lands was eradicated and the water from the Chasm was evaporated by Buer within three days. Now it is just the underground mines you see today."

Seeing the bewildered look on the Yaksha still present, you rested your cheek on your palm and grinned, slightly smug.

"It seems that you sometimes forget that I am a god, little Xiao."

Yes, that was right. Time and time again, Xiao seemed to forget that you were a deity capable of such feats. Rex Lapis formed islands with his spears, and Barbatos sliced mountains in half. Who was to say that you also couldn't do such, even if you weren't an Archon? Regardless of your comforting and casual nature, so close to the mortals of the land, you were still a god--a god who lived for thousands of years.

That was when a thought struck Xiao's heart.

You were not a mortal with a short lifespan. You were immortal like him.

Then, was it possible that, perhaps, there would be enough time for you two to grow closer?

"You best ask more questions about me when you have the chance," you smiled, bringing Xiao back to the present. "There are many things that I have done in my lifetime that Cloud Retainer would love to tell."

"Very much so," crooned the Adeptus.

Hesitantly, Xiao took a sip of his tea before resting it in the palm of his hand, fiddling with the cup's handle. He refused to look in your direction as he muttered, "I'm not sure what to ask."

That wasn't true. He wanted to ask if you had ever had a lover, if you had ever given your heart to someone else that wasn't him, and if you would give your heart to him in the near future. But, he had no confidence to do this, and to pry into someone's personal matters was not any of his business. Love is unnecessary to the Adeptus in the first place; why was his mind enamored on such useless thoughts?

You, sensing that there were things that he wanted to ask about, inquired, "Why don't you start by asking about those feathers you carry around?"

"The fea-" Widening his eyes for only a second, the Yaksha put down his cup and rummaged through his pocket, taking out the said feathers. They shimmered in the rays of the sun and glowed a radiant (f/c). You nodded when Xiao looked at you, silently wondering if those were the feathers you were talking about.

"Oh? They look much like..." Cloud Retainer trailed off.

"Yes, they are mine."

To prove to Xiao (who, again, had a look of shock on his face. Just how many times were you going to surprise him today, (y/n)?) that they were yours, you closed your eyes and felt golden whisps of your power engulf your body as you transformed into your avian figure. You stretched your neck as you displayed your tail, spreading the entirety of it in the sunlight. You were taller than Cloud Retainer, your peacock tail even more so, and unlike the illuminated beast there was a sense of power and dignity exuding from your body that made it impossible to mistake you for anything lower than a god. You preened your chest area before looking down at the teal Yaksha, your (e/c) eyes peering into his.

"...How beautiful," he exhaled, his voice barely audible and he himself not realizing that he said this out loud. You laughed, and rosiness dusted his cheeks.

"Why thank you," you mused as you transformed back into your mortal vessel. "I don't know how you got my feathers because they cannot fall without my will, but keep them. A memento from me to you."

"So majestic is Buer that their feathers were revered as sacred articles capable of healing any infirmaries. Once, it was marketed for over a million mora, one remembers. Very treasured," Cloud Retainer boasted.

You rolled your eyes and sighed, remarking, "My feathers have no such divinity. It is simply a part of my physical vessel...Mortals jump to such high conclusions. I personally had to perform that treatment, not wanting their fortune to go to waste. I think that's the largest sum it sold for in my life thus far."

"In your life..." Xiao's voice trailed. There were so many things he didn't know about you and your time before meeting him. Again, the uncomfortable feeling of unfamiliarity arose in his chest. Xiao had no idea what to do with these emotions he never felt until recently, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You glanced at him and brushed the diamond on his forehead with your fingers, smiling when it caught his attention.

"I have no secrets," you said gently. Your hand made its way into his, and you gave him a squeeze. "I will tell you anything you want to know...In return, I hope you will be more comfortable with me."

His golden irises drooped down to where your hands intertwined, and his heart warmed. Slipping his fingers in between yours, he squeezed you back--a sign that he appreciated your thoughts.

"Oh ho ho?" came a cheerful voice from Cloud Retainer. Her eyes were creased in amusement, her wings flapping ever so slightly as she watched the two of you. "Are you-"

"We part here." In a flash, Xiao disappeared within his smoke, leaving his fellow Adeptus' mouth ajar. She looked at you for any sort of answer, and you simply sighed and leaned back into your chair, reaching for your teacup.

"One is astonished to see the Conquerer of Demons display such a look of love," she observed.

"Love you say?"

"Was there not love in his gaze?"

You raised your head and watched the clouds pass by. There was no denying that Xiao was much more...open to receiving your physical touch. Whether it's because he holds affection for you or because he was simply more comfortable was not something you could deem. You were not one who has experienced love, after all--at least, not love outside of a familial sense. The feelings you held for Xiao were slightly different from anything you've ever felt but you could not call it "love;" you could not envision yourself settling down in a home with him, creating a family, and whatever else you've seen mortals do. And...

"Life is fleeting. Hundreds of thousands of people have come and gone in my lifetime...I do not see someone staying with me out of what mortals call "love." There is an impermanence to it all."

Shaking her head, Cloud Retainer sighed, "Lord Buer, you are comparing it to the likes of a mortal. Xiao is not a human who will leave you in a blink of an eye. He, too, has lived for more than a millennium. One sees that you cherish him. Does thou not?"

"...Perhaps," you smiled wistfully, taking a sip of your cooled tea. "I can't say I've ever experienced love to be able to put a finger on it."

"Over four thousand years in your life and yet inexperienced you are," Cloud Retainer chortled lightheartedly, prompting you to bicker with her. She wasn't wrong, however. Before you met Morax, you were so focused on making a name for yourself as a young god to ever develop feelings, and now you were focused on your duty of treating others in atonement.

You glanced at Guizhong's empty seat next to you.

"Hey Guizhong, is it alright if..."

A breeze fluttered some hair on your face, and you had to shut your eyes momentarily as you pushed your hair back. Your eyelashes fluttered open after a second. And your heart stopped. You could almost see her beautiful figure sitting there, her feint clothes and silky hair fluttering in the breeze. There was a knowing smile on her face. You smiled back. Nothing was holding you back now.

"Thank you. I guess I'll let myself indulge just this once."

𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐗𝐢𝐚𝐨 ―𝐠. 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭Where stories live. Discover now