i can't lose you - byler

crazy

AFTER BREAKFAST, will had raced up the stairs to finish his painting. he wanted to write something. a note, or a message. he searched for something that wouldn't be too cringe worthy or gross. until something sprung to mind.

'well, if we're both going crazy, then we'll go crazy together, right?'

'yeah, crazy together.'

again, something that he could recite on cue. he picked up his paintbrush and dabbed it softly in some white paint. he wrote: 'we'll go crazy together, right?' in the bottom right corner of his painting and signed it off with 'love, will'. he only needed to wait around thirty minutes for the final bit of paint to dry. he hoped that it wasn’t too soppy or anything, it was just a sweet message for a friend as far as mike was concerned.

"will! we're leaving now!" he heard jonathon call up the stairs. will quickly grabbed his painting and rolled it up neatly. he was expecting the perfect opportunity to give it to mike. he went back downstairs to find everyone standing in the hallway, waiting for him.

"sorry." he murmured. all four of them clambered into a pizza delivery van, and began to drive to the airport. jonathon and argyle up at the front as usual, and him and el in the back.

"will, nose." eleven pointed out. they were getting a lot more frequent, and it was almost becoming a routine.

"fucks sake." will muttered. oh yeah, that's another thing. will byers swears. he used to stay away from swearing, but he figured it made him look weak or childish. he wanted to 'grow up'. "argyle, you got any tissues?"

"nah sorry brochacho, never needed 'em." he responded, not taking his eyes of the road. it only took about ten minutes to arrive to the airport, and will was practically smiling ear to ear. you could say he was even more excited that eleven. he quickly went to the bathroom to clean up his bloody nose and hands, and came back to mike and el sharing a long, gross kiss. as soon as they fell apart, will tried to greet his 'best friend'.

the whole thing was almost embarrassing. will had gone in for a hug, as they used to when they were younger, because why would it be any different? mike had only returned the hug with an uncomfortable pat on the back, greeting will with a 'hey, man!'. his eyes diverted to the rolled up painting in will's hands.

''uhh... what's that?'' he asked awkwardly. 

''oh, uh it's nothing. just a painting i've been working on.'' will's face dropped. apparently nothing could be the same again.

''oh, cool.'' after those words will's hearing became muffled, rather he could just hear voices laughing at him for thinking their friendship could return to normal, thinking that he was normal. calling him stupid and crazy. he was going crazy alone. will wasn't sure how long he had been zoned out for.

''WILL!'' jonathon yelled.

''hm?'' will responded, looking up from his daze.

''we're going home...'' everyone shot will a worried look, the same look he was always given a few years back.

''oh..'' his voice trailed off. eleven saved the day by starting up a conversation with her boyfriend, explaining her plans with him for the next few days. again, will wasn't really listening. much rather, he was slowly crumpling up his stupid painting for mike. he couldn't believe that he thought things could be normal ever again. he felt so humiliated. he sat back down in his normal spot in the van, trying to stop everything spinning. he felt his head pounding and the seats were circling his vision. everything seemed to be moving so fast.

no one cared, no one even cast a second look. eleven and mike were giggling away in their little fantasy whilst jonathon and argyle were high at the front. will was alone. as always. will could remember a time where mike would gently nudge him, sending butterflies to expode in his stomach. he would ask him if he was okay. would he ever ask that again?

another long ten minutes passed and the group climbed out of the vehicle, well, will's exit was more of a stumble. el decided to show mike around the house, focusing on her room of course. she was able to decorate it herself, choosing all the furniture and wallpaper, and there were many pictures of mike scattered along the walls. will almost found it to be taunting him, as if it was saying: 'she's with him, and you're not you pathetic queer.' the voice usually belonged to his father, which will wasn't too fond of. 

''you alright, sweetie?'' joyce had noticed will's sudden melancholy. will gave a thumbs up in return, too afraid that he might vomit if he opened his mouth to speak. he went upstairs into his bedroom, and remained there the entire day, listening to the couples giggles that echoed in his mind. why couldn't that be him.

it was 11:30 pm, and wil had just awoken from yet another nightmare.

'MIKE? MIKE!' he was screaming mike's name as per usual, but he never came. 'MIKE PLEASE! ANYONE?' the cold pinched at his skin, sending shivers down his spine. but he would always stop screaming when he came to a horrible realization. no one would miss him. and his suffering would end. maybe if he just... let it happen. this would all come to an end. everyone would be happy. happy without him.

but minutes before his death he would always awake. breathing heavily with visible goosebumps. 

and will had no idea how he could stop it.

author: this chapter was honestly so dull because i didn't want to just speed through everything in volume one, but i promise things will definitely get more exciting next chapter.