"No matter how strong a girl is, there is always a breaking point."
This is the story of a girl who went past her breaking point.
This is the story of a girl who, despite everything, went on.
This is the story of a girl who survived.
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I guess you could say it was one of those days. The ones where all your worries and sorrows decide to haunt you, intent on making the day unbareable.
Images swirl in my mind as I sit at my desk, idly flipping through work trying to distract myself from my thoughts. It doesn't work; I could still see, as clear as day, all the moments where I had lost someone. My parents: killed in a car crash that I myself couldn't seem to die in, Stephen: ripped away in his attempt to save us, Nick: murdered by his own wife while trying to save her and me, Helen: a once almost caring aunt twisted into a person I no longer recognise, Jenny: could barely look at me without being reminded of Nick and couldn't bare to see any more of us die in front of her.
The veil of despair and anxiety seems to be almost touching my soul. My body sits motionless as I stare blankly at the desk, no facial expressions trying to give away the emotions I feel inside. I just sit there, eyes staring unblinking and mind drifting in one thought stream, then another, blanking out every once in awhile as the massive wave of negative thoughts come and crash over me. Every so often I'd look at my work, then I'd stare blankly, trying to get my mind off of what is making me so upset, but failing as I barely take the words on the page in.
"Morning!" Blinking slowly, it takes a second or two to register the woman making her way to her desk with a cheery disposition. Grumbling a reply I stand from my desk, taking Abby's appearance as an excuse to make myself a cup of coffee. Moving to the opposite end of the office, I fill the kettle with enough water for two people. I feel Lupins wet nose sniff my elbow as I go about scooping coffee granuals into two cups. Looking to the side where the big pup is I can't deny him a small smile; his big eyes always seemingly able to lift my mood somewhat. The switch on the kettle jumps up, telling me its boiled and I quickly share the water between the cups before moving to the fridge for milk. He's gotten so big recently, almost to what I'd say was the size of a smaller adult wolf. I've also started to notice the nervous glances of the people around us, it becoming painfully obvious he was getting too big to be passed off as an everyday pet. Sure at the moment he seems as docile as a dog but there are no guarantees he'll stay like that in about a years time when he's fully mature. Something else I had to think and worry about.
Turning back towards our desks, I move quickly to Abby, handing her one of the cups of coffee I'd made. She mumbles a 'thanks' my way before looking back to her work. I don't know why but, annoyingly, my legs are unwilling to move from their spot. My reluctance to go back to my desk is picked up by Abby as she meets my eyes, her own softening at something she sees. "I'm fine, Abby." Rolling her eyes she pushes herself away from the desk, moving around to stand before me with her arms crossed. "You're the one standing in front of my desk with a forlorn look like a lost puppy-" Her eyes dart to our side to Lupin who's happily sitting watching us. "No offense Lupin." Her attempt at a joke makes me crack a smile as she levels her gaze back onto me. "So what's up?" She asks hopping onto the desk. That movement alone takes me back to a week ago when I was alone with Becker and I have to forcefully push those memories away before I embarrass myself. Sighing, "it's just a bad day, you know?" Her sympathetic smile is actually comforting as she places a hand on my arm. Abby had always been able to read me quite easily and that fact has only gotten more true as the years go by. "Bad days pass. I'm here if you ever want to talk." Nodding at her softly worded message, I step back slightly letting her hand drop with a grateful smile.
