Presents Galore

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My Look What I Can Do! challenge turned out to be way more successful than my poem remix challenge. There was still the usual mix of tweets:


Dylan Brynt @DillieB

.@DallasDelaney Men and boys are still judged on their appearances

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

.@DillieB Fair point.

Alice Brooks @AliceP.Brooks

.@DallasDelaney There's a feminist conspiracy that the "beauty myth" keeps women distracted by personal appearance and creates enmity/judgment between women (1/3)

Alice Brooks @AliceP.Brooks

.@DallasDelaney This has led to the increase in plastic surgery and eating disorder amongst girls and women (2/3)

Alice Brooks @AliceP.Brooks

.@DallasDelaney Ultimately, the beauty myth makes women less effective in society and keeps us open to more judgment, keeping us down in the hierarchy (3/3)

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

@AliceP.Brooks Thanks Ms. Brooks! I'll check that conspiracy out

Adree Richards @AdreeSchmadree_dancer

.@DallasDelaney I'm bad at math and I feel like I'm judged harshly for it. Girls definitely aren't judged only on their appearances

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

.@AdreeSchmadree_dancer Agreed. If we weren't judged on our skills, "dumb blonde" wouldn't even be a thing

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Yet the "dumb blonde" label STILL ties skill level to appearance...women are constantly boiled down to their appearances


But most of the responses contained photos using the "LOOKWhatICanDo" hashtag. I think the success was because people love posting pictures. That's what I'd heard about my generation—we preferred communicating through images rather than words.

I had posted a before and after picture of myself putting together my mountain bike, using the frame I'd gotten for Christmas plus all the other parts. Roy had already put it together for me over Christmas break, but I made him take it apart so I could do it myself. I felt really proud of myself, because for some reason during break I didn't think I could do it, so I didn't. But once I forced myself to think I could do it, I did.

All my friends participated in my challenge, posting pictures of themselves snowboarding, surfing, moshing, and painting. Then there were hundreds of other posts from my peers and beyond, pictures of people playing guitar, dissecting sharks, balancing spoons on their noses, racing cars, riding hoverboards, making sculptures, doing graffiti, building robots—you name it, it was most likely there.

Valerie posted a picture of herself lifting weights with Chad. I had no idea she could that. And, as Benny might say, yowza! She looked so hot. I was super flattered and excited, thinking she did that because of ME.

* * *

At the beginning of chemistry on Monday, I was the first one there. Then Valerie set a pink rose down on the table in front of me before she sat down. I must have given her a what the efff look, because she offered an immediate defense: "I figured that your manifesto against flowers yesterday came from a place of loneliness. So I brought you a corpse of one to let you know I appreciate you and your contributions to our lab assignments."

"Well thank you," I said, picking up the corpse and smelling it. Then I said, orc-like, "It still smells fresh."

She laughed, her sweet fairy laugh that made everyone turn to see what they were missing out on. But once their attention was on her she got quiet and leaned in, excluding them all from our private conversation, something she did so well. I hated how girls did that, but I liked it right then. "I kind of agree with you, you know," she said. "About flowers. Have you seen that meme about how if you like a flower, you shouldn't pick it? Because then it dies and isn't what you loved anymore?"

"Yep. About how love is about appreciation, not possession. It's a quote from a book, I think." Wondering if she was trying to say something more, I asked straight-out, "Does Chad think he possesses you?"

"No. I mean—sometimes I feel like he likes the way I look on him. But he tries to be a good boyfriend and person, especially lately. I could never get mad at him for getting me flowers. That'd be like...overboard."

I didn't think it would be overboard, but I didn't want to disagree with her. So I said, "I didn't know you lifted weights."

"I just started this year."

"Bet you're glad I gave you the opportunity to post that picture."

"Actually, I would usually rather not post a picture of myself doing that, but I was inspired to take a risk. Most guys think girls lifting weights is wrong. Even Chad is kinda weird about it. I mean, he likes it, but only to a certain point. He doesn't want me to get 'too muscular,' or something. Like I won't look as good on him. Whatever."

"Yeah, that's ridiculous. Girls should be able to lift weights, too, as much as we want. You should get really muscular, just to agitate him. He's probably afraid of how he'll look next to you."

Her mouth formed into a conspiratorial smile. "Challenge accepted."

Later, in English, Adree smiled at me like she was happy about my vlog, coming over to my desk and setting a heart-shaped valentine and some dark chocolate covered espresso beans down in front of me. "Thank you?" I said.

"Crap. You don't like them, do you?"

Her hand went for the espresso beans, so I snatched them first, saying, "No, actually, I love them, and it's kind of freaky that you knew that."

"What can I say?" she said, flipping her yellow-tinted hair to the side. "I'm good at reading people." She smiled again and went to sit in her own seat, so I opened the card, which said, "You inspire me! Thanks for letting me leech off of you!"

I looked at Adree's handwriting, done in pink gel ink, probably good enough to be considered calligraphy. Caressing the card with my fingers, I couldn't believe I'd gotten Valentine gifts from both Valerie and Adree.

Peering up from the card, I hoped to get Adree's attention so I could thank her, but then Sharkbite said, "Dallas, look what I can do!" and farted. "Too bad there isn't a social media for sharing smells! You'd be all about that, right? Girls fart too, right?"

Wafting the air away from me, I forced a laugh, gaining a momentary appreciation for the fact that most women were respectful enough to not purposefully fill a room with foul scent. Perfume came out of Valerie's purse, and she squirted it into the air, and Sharkbite smiled triumphantly.

AS Benny sat down in front of him, I heard Sharkbite say, "Are you seriously wearing nail polish, dude? That's pretty homo."

"Good thing I don't care what officer Carlos thinks," Benny said back, and Sharkbite looked a little stunned.

Adree gave Benny a thumbs up. "Right on!"


Wednesday night was there before I knew it, and I impatiently waited for Adree's vlog as I answered the textbook questions for econ. Finally, when I had written three essay answers, she posted it. I needed the opportunity to procrastinate.


Adree Richards @AdreeSchmadree_dancer

Why @DallasDelaney 's #LookwhatIcando! challenge was a massive failure #EmbraceFemininity

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