my lovely doe-eyes fem reader x alan (my dear hatchet man)

sugar coated kiss

⚠ there a small smut scene⚠

A/N: there some anst here too.

I let him wrap his arms around me. I feel safe in Alan touch. He show me a comforting smile. I return one back at Alan.

"Y/N! WAIT!! " Stu and Erika pacing them rushing to me, I stop moving. Which causes Alan body to jerk. I waited for the two to reclaim their breath to speak.

Yet they are still my friends, it would be wrong if I left them at drop of a pen. They were their for me. I should hear them out more, before my final decision with my thoughts.

Alan look at me as if he didn't want me to waste anything over them for petty feelings. Feelings that are old and should die for me to move on.

" Just me explain it myself, Erika didn't word it out well."

"Then what where your actions truly intended? "

"I know back then I was.. "

"I won't know if I didn't Stu. Just say it. Or my thoughts won't change."

"What I mean is that, I don't want you to proceive me like " That". At least no anymore."

"And I thought so too. But.." I didn't want to continue. He might change on what he saying. I have priority and I see his after erika.

I still have my trust in Erika... I just can't set my emotions settle as much for my priorities that well. This emotional wreck that becoming my biggest issue, preventing my happiness and trust in my own view in relations.

"I really want to see you (y/n) -"

"I think I heard enough Stu." I made sure my tone didn't sound betray nor bitter towards him. I smile to reassure Stu even more. Everyone can work on self redemption, just some take longer than others.

I didn't mind if it was a work in progress, but I sure I should always know to give time and space for them. And myself as well if a relation between people is going to work.

Remember how Stu was fucking flirt in our high school days and his "partners". And the lonesome I get whentag in, As a third wheel for things in their dates.
Or " hang outs" be I felt better off staying somewhere else. Even if meant my takeout or outing would be more expensive.

If I remember anything else from high school is than Don't hang on people who aren't there, even if there body roam as a different person. It wasn't a surprise he still in his old ways still.
Sadly these weren't the path I use walk with him no more.

The dilemma between between why is still like this anger me or or saddened that he after Erika and that I might lose her too.

Just having Alan left my live. I just don't know the main reason to be upset at Stu. But I should leave before I feel unstable and becoming a mess infront of everyone.

I breathe out "I know you did your best" I said as I smile at the two.

"I am.. " Stu cuts me of before I get into it. Yet Stu tone was seriously within much sincerity. It wasn't enough to make me stay longer.

It now sunset over this small city. Still my room apparent was quite since I was the only one at the top floor. Still tonight is wasn't that.

I let Alan to stay over with me after what happened with Stu.
I didn't mind that Erika wasn't with me. She made her division to leave with her new pal. I hope it won't be to awkward when we met at class.

Alan seem to enjoy the daytime crew. But my eyes we're glue to him. As he stare at the playful prepy and jock like clown. It was sweet to seeing like this.

I wish I get to have moments to feel like happy kid at time. I didn't bother that see it in others. I wouldn't mind it if. I wouldn't mind it all, if I could share a feeling like that with Alan. Of all people in my life and in the world.

Crap! I been staring at him! I bundle up on my end of the couch. It's was dark in the living room with only lightening being the TV.
I don't think he noticed.

He shift toward me. He fucking did! He fucking knew! Gah! I'm acting weird as I'm slowly crushing on him! It's over now! I advert away from him.
I'm too flush to face him calmly! I try to compose my voice.

If he was going to ask anything because of my behavior at the moment.

"Are you okay?" Okay, I collect my voice before answering him. I should be honest at least. It's best not act if I'm really not. It would make it worst.

"I'm sorry Alan. I guess it just hard to untie these complicated complex emotions to threw the day."

"Are you still up set? "

"Maybe in some way. Not complete sure. "

"It was stupid.. Over the Stu intentions, the misunderstanding with Erika words, how I got lost in Woods and needed your help... "
I pause I keep repeating this stupidity.And for what? I just get more frustrating myself. Putting my knees up to my chest.

"How could I smart to be collage. Yet such a dumb bitch in life decisions?" I whisper to myself. I didn't want to ruin Alan's mood. Yet emotional state were uncontrollable.

A hand was place at top of my head. My puffy eyes look at Alan's heterochromic eyes. There was the smile I fell for. Warm and soften. Wraping into his large body.

💚!smutt zone starts here!💚

I feel Alan shift his weight on me. Laying me on my couch to top me.

Being pin as a hand snake around with all his fingers coils in my wrist.

"Y/N, You can tell me anything."

"Alan... "

My heart beat faster as my face flush redder with every inch he comes closer, I went completely stiff. Let my view vanish. Letting Alan lips embrace mine. The taste of honey drips on my tongue.

He lean lean in making sure we have a good taste of each other. It was deeply passionate as was sweet.
He becomes hungry and needy for me.

"I really like ya, Doe-Eyes~"

What was my stiff  body just Shivers and melts by his words and his touch. His breath close up to my ears. The hitch in between them.

"You have no idea you make me feel... I just want to hold you. And never let you go... It-it just my heart swell up~"

It wasn't the only thing that was swelling over me.  The choice of words(although possessive), I felt care for once again.

His hands left my wrists and starts wondering over my curves.

....

💚   smutt zone end here   💚

A pain shot threw my neck. From there instant reflex I graphic both of his arms.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't know I took it to far. I should if asked."

"I'm sorry Alan it just I have something happen last night."

He being to worry. And holds me. It wasn't full of lust from before. His swelling vanish. Showing how deeply these feelings were Percipitated.

I told him the fear I felt over the intruder overnight break in. I couldn't felt more vernable at the time.

We didn't let each other go. Even for a bit. My hand reach over to his face. Caressing it with my thumb. Feeling the roughness of his scars.

Alan lean in my comforting hand. He kiss my palm trailing up to my bruise neck. Letting my heart flutter with each pepper butterfly kiss.