(1) Vita Brevis (D. Dixon)

Chapter Eight

Catelyn rubs at her eyes as she sets her bag on the bed next to Carl. She prefers to use her own supplies, as she doesn't know where Hershel's have come from or where they have been. And whilst that likely means she will run out at some point, faster, it makes her a little more at ease about doing this. It also helps that Carl is a kid. Part of her is more open to that. He actually reminds her of Tali, which is probably why she'd snapped about him. Because she saw her dead sister in his moppy hair and innocent eyes. She takes the first-aid kit from her bag and rounds the bed to the side where Carl is resting, taking the seat next to the bed. He clearly lost a lot of blood, he's very pale and his pulse is on that line between too weak and just strong enough, but it is enough for now. It's stable. He's stable. She stands again and picks up her first-aid kit as she heads into the adjoining room. The small bathroom. She turns on the tap and lets the hot water warm up as she opens up a bar of antiseptic, antibacterial soap to clean her hands before she even starts thinking about Carl's injury. He's just gotten over what happened, finally stable, best she not do anything to jeopardise that. Though from the looks of it, she is going to have to make do with drying her hands on a towel that hasn't been sterilised. She just hopes that it is at least clean. Preparing like this. Getting ready to do something medical, even yesterday, patching up T-Dog. She actually misses it. She forgot how much she loved medical school. How much she wanted to learn. Jack's death. The outbreak. She shut herself away from a lot of things. She lost her love for things too. She once wanted to help people. To heal them. Jack took that from her too. She dries her hands and then grabs her kit, heading back into the room where Carl is resting. She sits at his side again and lets out a breath before she carefully pulls the dressing away from his wound. She wrinkles her nose taking in the sutures. For a veterinarian, Hershel did a decent job at saving Carl and stitching him up afterwards, but those sutures need to be done better if they are going to hold on a kid. She looks at her kit and wrinkles her nose as she plans what she is going to do. She lets out a breath and nods. She will take out the sutures done by Hershel and then replace them with her own. Then patch on a bandage. That's all she can do. She lets out a breath and closes her eyes. How the fuck did she end up getting roped into this whole thing?

.....

The group of survivors are gathered outside of the Greene house, spread out around a rock heap. A sort of memorial funeral, just without a body. Catelyn doesn't feel like she needs to be here. Mostly because she didn't know the person that died. Otis. He'd gone with Shane to get medical supplies. He'd sacrificed himself so that Shane could make it back. That's what Catelyn's heard from Marie anyway. So she leans against a tree away from the others, her cap pulled down over her eyes as she folds her arms over her chest. Yawning. Her mother isn't wrong about her being tired. She usually is, but today just feels worse. She blames the emotional shove she's gotten from Rick. She's buried so much since Jack's death, pushed it deep down inside of her. Rick coming back into her life after 14 years just rattled a few of her emotions lose. Being around Rick feels dangerous to her, because there is the risk that she will fall into that trap of family, and she'll trust the wrong person again. That threat is always going to be in the back of her mind. From those gathered, an older blonde woman steps towards the stack of rocks. Catelyn assumes that she is Otis' wife, given how upset she is by it all. Patricia, she thinks. It's not like they all got a full introduction when they arrived. They all just kind of got on with it.

"Blessed be God, father of our Lord Jesus Christ" Patricia starts, hands clasped in front of her. "Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child's, now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in Grace" Patricia then steps back, letting out a breath before she turns to Shane. "Shane, will you speak for Otis?"

"I'm not good at it. I'm sorry" Shane argues, shaking his head.

"You were the last one with him" Patricia counters. "You shared his final moments. Please. I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning" Her voice breaks as she pleads with him. Shane nods.

"Okay" He agrees and then takes a breath, glancing around the group gathered then pulls his cap off to wring it between his hands as he tells them the story of what happened. "We were about done. Almost out of ammo. We were down to pistol by then. I was limping. It was bad. Ankle all swollen up. 'We've got to save the boy.' See, that's what he said. He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. 'Run,' he said. He said, 'I'll take the rear. I'll cover you.' And when I looked back..." Shane draws off. Catelyn tilts her head, peering out from under her cap at him. She likes to think that she's developed a bit of a lie detector through years of living with a great big fat liar in Jack. He hide who he was from the outside world for decades, she saw him do it, watched him do it. He was good at it, but she saw through Jack at the end. She saw through his lies. She knows one when she sees one. Shane is lying about what happened to Otis. "If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his" Marie shifts away from the group who take a moment for Otis, and approaches her daughter instead. Catelyn tilts her head slightly to look at her mother. Marie touches her arm. The two of them share a look.

"You look tired, honey" Marie tells her daughter. "Why don't you go and get some sleep?"

"I don't feel safe" Catelyn argues. "I won't sleep until we leave"

"Honey" Marie scolds her softly. "Please...you'll be no good to either of us if you collapse...just take a few hours...." Catelyn knows that she is not going to be able to sleep with all these strangers around her. Her internal warning system pushing her to escape from them instead. They both turn hearing footsteps, they find that Lori and Rick are walking towards them, Marie touches Catelyn's arm before she leaves her to talk to them alone. Catelyn glares at her mother for doing this to her before she turns to Rick and Lori.

"How's Carl?" Lori asks her. Catelyn lets a breath out through her nose

"Fine, Hershel did a decent job, considering....I redid the sutures and changed the bandages, which will need changing as often as possible, or as possible as supplies allow, let's start with twice a day, see how that goes,...he'll probably be in and out of consciousness throughout the day, if he's in pain, I set a bottle of motrin on the side, it's ibuprofen, give him two, it should help..."

"Thank you, Catelyn" Rick tells her softly. He knows she's having trouble with this, but she still helped his son, her brother, she must have seen something worth saving in Carl, she must have some level of compassion in there, even if she would rather hide it from the world.

"Yes" Lori adds warmly. "Thank you" Catelyn hums a little and fights pulling a face. Uncomfortable with the attention and praise. Which she knows is strange for someone that wanted to be a doctor. A lot of them like, or liked, praise and being told they are good at what they do. She just wants to walk away. She is tired and dealing with people is exhausting.

"You can go" Rick assures her quietly, understanding her desire to flee, she looks at him, the two of them sharing a look, he nods, reassuring her that' it's okay for her to go. That he is grateful for what she has done, but she doesn't need to do the polite small talk with them if she doesn't want to. He understands that she is uncomfortable with people she doesn't know. She nods back at him and walks away.

"Someone hurt that girl" Lori offers Rick who nods.

"Yeah" He agrees. He came to the same conclusion. No one is that way because the world ended. They are that way long before. They are that way because they have seen the worst in humanity. He wants to know who. He wants to know who broke his daughter. But he knows that he has no right to that information.