When morning comes, Catelyn is still exhausted. There is no way she is going to get a good night's sleep ever again considering. Between the state of the world and the presence she is with, she's not feeling safe and relaxed enough to sleep deep enough to get any real rest. So whilst everyone else is starting to wake up and get ready for the day, Catelyn makes her way into the farmhouse to check on Carl. She pulls her hair back and ties it off. The warmer weather getting to her. It's hard to stay cool when there is a layer of dirt and dust and sweat already on her skin. She misses showers and body wash. She lets out a breath as she drops into the seat at the side of Carl's bed. She is going to do something for them and she hopes it will be enough to keep them away from her for the rest of the day. Carl is still out of it but at least he looks better. She places the back of her hand on his forehead and closes her eyes as she concentrates on his temperature. He's still hot, but he's not as hot as he was. He's better. She pulls her hand back and opens up her medical kit. She will clean and redress his wound. That's all she can do. Though her supplies are running out. She wonder what else they got from the hospital run that killed Otis. She wonders if they'll share it. At least to replenish what she's used on Carl. She can feel eyes on her. Her eyes flicker to the doorway where she spots Rick. He's watching her, leaning in the doorway. But he doesn't say anything. Just watches her. He seems to know that them talking does nothing but makes things worse. He's thinking about her and her childhood, the years he missed out on. He tried so many times, so many more times that Lori knows about, to reach out to Catelyn, but Jack always intercepted him. Phone calls and Skype calls. Letters returned to sender and text messages undelivered. Those last two he can't be sure about, but from what he can guess, Jack made things difficult for them. He wants to ask. He does, but he doesn't want to upset her. Jack seems like a sore subject for both of them. He's hurt them both in ways that Rick can see but doesn't want to understand. No father would want to know. Catelyn clears her throat.
"Can you bring that bowl over here?" She asks, quietly. As if the idea of asking for help makes her sick. He nods and leans away from the door to grab the bowl of water on the side. He sets it at her side and she pulls it closer. He watches her work. She seems different doing this. Less scrunchy and calmer. He could ask her questions, she might be more willing to talk to him if she is feeling more at ease. He takes a breath and nods. He's going to try at least. But he should try something easy. Something simple.
"Why medicine?" He asks her, she glances at him and then lets out a breath as she turns back to Carl.
"Tali" She answers, keeping her eyes on Carl's wound as she cleans it. "I used to patch her up when..." She stops herself. "Then after the accident..." She continues, skipping over whatever she was about to say. She lets out a breath.
"You wanted to stop someone else going through what you and your mother did?" He asks, she curls her lip a little, feeling called out. "That maybe if you learnt how, you could save others that had injuries like hers"
"I know better now" She argues. "Tali was....beyond saving" She admits and looks at him. "Too much damage done but....turns out I actually enjoy medicine" She adds. "Keeps my mind calm and occupied" He hums in acknowledgement. "Why law enforcement?" She counters. He lets out a breath and shrugs.
"Small town with little else to offer" He admits. "It seemed to be the best option. I liked it though" He adds as his eyes are drawn to her wrist. He noticed her necklace earlier, but that she also wears the bracelet he once gave her too does say something. He's not sure what, but it says something. "Your mother wanted to be a teacher" He informs her, she nods, she knows that much. "Did she...?" She shakes her head.
"No" She answers. Jack never allowed Marie to work. She was to stay at home and take care of the house, husband, and children. That was her role to him. Her mother would have been a good teacher, before him. "Though she homeschooled us often enough" She adds. When Jack was in one of his moods or when Catelyn or Tali were hiding injuries they wouldn't be able to explain at school. They were home significantly over the years. Enough to raise eyebrows but not enough to call in help for them. Jack was very good at the game he played. She redresses Carl's wound, gentle with her movements. She could ask him questions back. But she doesn't want to. She doesn't want him to think that everything is going to be okay with them. Too much water has passed under the bridge. Too much has happened to her. That father-figure image that he once held in her mind has been corrupted by Jack. Perhaps even beyond repair.
......
Catelyn hasn't seen her mother all day. It makes her worry. She knows she has to be around somewhere. There aren't exactly a lot of places for her to wander off to. But there are more of them now, meaning she likely is helping one of the others. She's better at integrating than Catelyn is. She pulls her hair down as she passes the RV, hoping that her mother might be back at their tent. She just needs the comfort of a familiar and safe face. To reassure herself that Marie is safe. There are voices from within and Catelyn pauses in her steps. Wondering if she is intruding and should move on, or if this is a non-important conversation that wouldn't matter if she hears them.
"A flower?" Carol's voice is curious and slightly amused at the same time. Catelyn raises an eyebrow. Carol has been so tearful and upset since she met her, obviously, but there is a softer tone to her now, a sliver of amusement that stops her.
"It's a Cherokee rose" Daryl. He is not one that Catelyn would think would be the one to offer comfort through flowers. Catelyn shifts closer to the RV. "The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the trail of tears the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow right where the mothers' tears fell. I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers blooming for my brother. But I believe this one bloomed for your little girl" Catelyn finds a smile working onto her lips. It was sweet of him. To come across a flower, to pick it, to know it's meaning, and to bring it back for Carol. Catelyn might not believe they are going to find Sophia alive, but a mother's grief is real here, and her hope is too. Daryl's boots step down from the RV before she even realises. He glances at her and she is quick to look around. Caught out. She lets out a small squeak, surprising herself, but amusing him. His lip twitches into a smirk before he drops it.
"I wasn't eavesdropping" She defends and then sighs. "I didn't mean to" She corrects herself. "I was looking for my mom and...."
"It's fine" He stops her. He knows that she's not really the sort to be sneaky and listen in on other people's conversations on purpose. She doesn't seem the type anyway. He seems thoughtful for a moment before he reaches into his pocket. She is instantly on alert. Her body tenses. But she stands her ground. Waiting it out. He pulls his hand from his pocket then holds out something towards her and she steps back instinctively, her fingers itching towards her bow. He gives her a look and shakes the item at her. "It's a chocolate bar" He defends a little. "Not gonna kill ya" Her eyes shift to the chocolate bar. "I found a box of them" He then shrugs. "Was saving them for the kids but..." He steps closer to her, but it is a cautious step as if he expects her to bolt. "I dunno" He mumbles and she lets out a breath before she reaches for the offered bar. She looks down at her hand as she pulls it back, tracing the letters with her finger before she looks up at Daryl, but he's moved on, walking away. She doesn't know what it is about him. He's scary-looking and gruff and grunts at people, but she feels safer around him than she does around any of the others. She would have thought it would be the older men. Those with grandpa energy as her mother once described it. She had a mentor at medical school who was one with such energy. She was close to him. He taught her and pushed her and perhaps even was responsible for her confidence and strength. Hershel and Dale have that same energy and yet it is Daryl she feels safer around. She feels different around him. Less walled off. Like there are cracks forming. And that scares her. Those walls are up for a reason. To protect herself. To protect her mother.
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(1) Vita Brevis (D. Dixon)
FanfictionThe end has come. And for Catelyn and her mother, that means holding up in an abandoned church but soon enough she is thrust into a survivors group that she has no interest in but sticks with for the sake of her mother and the surprise return of her...
