(1) Vita Brevis (D. Dixon)

Chapter Twelve

In the front bedroom of the farmhouse, Catelyn stands at the window holding open the curtain looking out at the group outside as they wander around. No one really has anything to do. They can't risk sending everyone off to search for Sophia, mostly because none of them seems to know how to use weapons asides from Rick, Shane, and Daryl. And herself. But she is apparently more useful here with Carl, and today she agrees. She thinks he's going to wake up. He should wake up today. Fully. Whilst it will take him time to heal, he should be feeling well enough in the next couple of days to leave the bed. Carl stirs behind her and she turns to look at where he lies. He shifts again and she moves, dropping the curtain to make her way to the bed to check on him. Taking the seat at the side of the bed, Catelyn watches Carl's face, trying to work out if he is shifting in pain or if he is about to wake up. She's thinking wake up. She's hoping. Because that means that they will stop asking for her help here, and stop looking to her for it. Things might have been different if the world hadn't gone to shit and she had become a doctor as she was meant to. She might have developed a better bedside manner. A lot of things might have been different. She gently strokes her fingers over Carl's cheek as his eyes flutter. He's trying to wake up and she's trying to help him along, gently. It'll do him no good to be spooked awake after what he's been through. He might make his injury worse if he jolts too much. His eyes open and settle on her.

"Catelyn" Carl whispers and she gives him a small smile as she leans over him, pressing the back of her hand to his head to check his temperature.

"How are you feeling?" She asks him as she draws her hand around his face.

"Tired" He answers, but she was expecting nothing less. He's not going to be full of energy for a while.

"I'll go get your dad," She tells him, standing from her seat, ready to leave, but Carl grabs her hand to stop her.

"In a minute" He argues, weakly tugging on her hand. "Please" She lets out a breath and closes her eyes before she nods. Taking the seat again. He keeps his hand on her wrist. He drifts slightly, still exhausted. He sinks into the bed, eyes closing. She brushes her fingers through his hair as he rests, his fingers clasping to her sleeve, clutching to her. He reminds her a lot of Tali. They would be the same age now. It does make her think about how Tali would be in this world. A pure light soul brought into a world of pain and hate and monsters. Catelyn hates that at that moment, she is grateful that Tali died when she did. Because she doesn't have to suffer through all of this. She brushes her hand over her cheek as a tear slides from her eye before she full-on starts crying. Lifting her hands to hide her face as she sobs.

........

Catelyn has done her duty. She's done what she can for Carl and she's hoping that they won't call on her for any of that again. A one-off because Carl is a child and her brother. Or maybe deep down she is a good person that hides behind a wall of anger to protect herself. She'll never admit it, but it's the last one. Now she wants a bath, but of course, that is not something she can have, but she knows there is a river not that far away. She carries her bow as she heads towards the treeline. Marie, walking at her side, hands her a bar of soap and a towel that has seen better days.

"They gave us buckets" Marie reminds her. Catelyn rolls her eyes a little. Whilst she knows it was a 'nice' thing for Hershel to do, she also knows that they have running water and a generator for hot water.

"The river isn't that far away," Catelyn tells her and gives her a small smile, trying to be reassuring. But there is always going to be a risk of them wandering off alone, even going to nature's bathroom. The whole world is one big threat. Taking a tinkle could end their lives. They could literally be caught with their pants down.

"Just be careful," Marie asks of her. "Keep your bow close" Catelyn nods as she takes the soap and towel from her before she walks away, heading for the trees. She is going to have to be quick, staying out there for longer than she needs is going to bring trouble to her. Especially if she is going to be down there in a vulnerable state. Rick watches from the RV, narrowing his eyes slightly at Catelyn as she reaches the trees.

"Don't wander too far!" Rick warns causing her to stop. She turns and glares at him over her shoulder, she raises her middle finger at him and then stomps off into the woods with her bow. He's trying to be overprotective, but it is too little way too late. He had his chance to be a father to her. He gave up at the first sign of resistance, resistance that wasn't even her. He could have fought harder. She wouldn't be so bitter if he had. She might not have gone through what she did if he tried harder. Maybe that is part of why she is so angry with him. Because he could have saved her and he didn't. It's childish for her to still feel that way, but Jack has done damage that probably won't ever completely heal. She has to live with that. Forever.