Rogue Luna

Chapter Seventeen

        I had troubles sleeping. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions and as I tossed around I felt myself sinking deep into an inky black abyss  I couldn't breathe or move as this feeling of being trapped surrounded me. I couldn't even cry as it consumed me. I let it devour me as things became quiet and serene. How nice it'd be to disappear from this life full of misery but as I nearly lost myself a bright white light shined in the distance. It was a speck and then grew closer to me, chasing away the abyss and filling me with serenity. I reached out for it and felt it's rays of light, cool and soft like silk.
           It pulled me out of the nightmares and into the real world. I jolted up in a cold sweat, I could feel the slimy abyss fade off of me.
        I trembled as I gripped myself tightly. I wouldn't cry for myself. I wouldn't accept my destiny to be locked up when I tasted freedom. I was trying to chase away the negative emotions so hard I almost didn't notice Davion watching me from the balcony entrance. He looked at me, sadness reflected in his eyes.
         "Hey Sera." His voice was quiet and hoarse.
      I glared at him despite feeling a hint of care for him. "You have nerve calling my name like we are friends."
            I could tell my words hurt him though he did his best to remain calm. He approached me cautiously and sat in a  chair beside my bed. It was awkward as we sat in silence until he found the words he wanted to say but after what felt like an eternity he barely mustered, "I'm so sorry."
       I felt the tears sting my cheeks. I felt betrayed, lied to, used. Most of all I felt like I couldn't trust him though a part of me really wanted to. I never felt so conflicted and frustrated.
             I clenched my fists tightly. "How long. How long did you know."
       He grit his teeth. "I-I couldn't... You wouldn't have..."
             "HOW LONG?!" I refused to cry but I was so damn frustrated by everything.
          He flinched and sighed in defeated. "I've always known."
              We say in a deeper silence as I calmed myself. "Tell me everything, now." He tried to deny my but I looked at him firmly, "if I ever meant anything to you, you will tell me."
         He nodded. "The Shadow Moon are protectors, my father was close with your father so when he met your mother and you were born I was tasked with watching you and relaying everything back." He waited for me to absorb everything so far, I motioned him to continue. "I intended to just observe but you were so adorable and curious. I started to fall for your smile and how mischievous you were. It felt like watching my little sister...I panicked when your father intended to seal you away in the north. Your mother. Wanted you to experience a full life and hoped he would understand but... He did not. When you turned eighteen he intended to take you so I... Guided Victor to you."
           I looked at him, my heart sank and shattered. "Y-you did what?"
       "It was the best option, you don't know how much it killed me but I thought he would treat you right."
             "Victor wasn't my true mate. Was he." He tried to hide his face. "He wasn't, was he!!" My face flooded with tears as I realized Davion was my true mate. He had to have known it too as he refused to face me.
        "I-I thought you'd be able to live a, normal, life. He promised to take care of you... I did it to protect you." He looked at me pleading. "You have to believe me! I never intended to hurt you, I never wanted you to go through the things you did. You wouldn't have survived by my side, I-I want strong enough...I was scared."
                  I clenched my fists tightly. "Did you abandon Anya?"
           He looked at me in surprise. "W-why... What does that matter?"
                 I looked at him coldly. "Did you. Abandon. Anya."
           He worked in discomfort, "yes. I did. It was the alpha's ruling though! I couldn't protect her either."
       "Seems like you couldn't protect anyone." He flinched and slunk in his chair. I tried to process everything but it seemed so outlandish I couldn't stand it. I prioritized my thoughts. My first priority. Stopping a massacre. "The ferals. Is that threat real." He nodded softly. "That takes priority. I will talk to their alpha and return to Anya and Brock." I couldn't look at him as I turned away, "it'll be better if we keep it professional until otherwise."
            He gripped his hands tightly and nodded. "I...understand."
         We continued sitting in silence until a guard knocked on the door.
        "His highness requests your presence."
             I got up and walked to the wardrobe, I avoided his eyes with slight difficulty and picked a simple ensemble. "I suggest you leave." He said nothing but I could feel his energy fade away as he left. I grasped the ensemble tightly. I could dwell on Davison,I had a mission to accomplish. I chose a white baggy cotton blouse, dark blue pants with black leather boots accented with a simple silver design. It was a comfortable outfit, easy to move around in.
          I followed the guard to the indie garden. He ushered me in and stood off to the side. I walked in to find my father sitting at the pavilion. He looked out of place with his all white ensemble but I could picture a heart warming picture of my colorful mother by his side. I approached him and bowed slightly.
        "There's no need for that Sera, have a seat. Please." I say on the plush cushion and smiled as he offered me a plate of burned cakes. He cleared his throat with flush cheeks, "I uh... I was never a baker. The north doesn't have the need for sweets..." He looked at the plate almost regretfully. "The north is lacking." He set them off the the side and looked at me sadly. "Sera, my daughter. I apologize if I gave you a shock. I can't imagine how you must have felt after everything you went through. I should have never left you to, that bastard. I should have perfected you and your mother." I could see the tears well up as he thought about Mom. I could feel it to. This was suppose to be her's. A space she could still feel connected to nature, a surprise she never got too see.
     I held my hand out for him and he held it tenderly. His hand was big and thick with battle. He was a warrior and lived his life as such not ever knowing they his others took for granted. I myself lived a plush life in comparison. "It's ok. I'm not mad at you anymore." It was true, after that nightmare and heading Davion I relinquished the hate I held for him. I knew we couldn't connect immediately but it gave me room to try.
       He smiled warmly. "Thank you."