Her Secrets

Chapter 28

I took a step back, unable to bear her alcohol mixed breath. My face scrunched in disgust and I looked at her with accusing eyes. Mrs. Brown let go of my hand quickly and walked away with a guilty feeling on her face.

Why couldn't she stay sober for one day? At least she chould've waited until the burial was over to drown herself in alcohol.

I watched them getting inside and closed the door. I slumped in defeat.

Maddy didn't want me there!

I waited a few more minutes and got into my car. Mom would be so thrilled. I thought sarcastically.

But before I could start my engine, the front door opened again and Maddy walked out.

"Alex!" She called, "wait!" She ran towards the vehicle.

My hopes went up hearing those words. Please, ask me to stay, Maddy! Please, ask me to stay. I silently pleaded.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked with an indifferent face.

"Stay!" She blurted out and I struggled to hide my smile, "Can you stay with me tonight? I...I don't want to stay alone. You know mom... she will be drunk in a few minutes. So... I-"

"Fine!" I wanted to stop her rambling, "you could simply ask Maddy. No need to give me any reasons" I sighed.

I followed her into the house and sat on the sofa in the living room. Maddy passed me a drink and sat on the opposite sofa facing me. She looked exhausted and slipped her drink slowly deep in her thoughts.

I looked around the house as I was seeing it after a long time. The house felt empty and was dark. It matched with the atmosphere outside, with grey clouds swallowing the light little by little as it spread its darkness welcoming the chilly night.

"I'm going to have a bath. Do you need anything?" Maddy got up taking the empty cans with her.

I shook my head to say 'No' and Maddy walked away leaving me all alone in that living room. I rested my head on the couch and looked at the white ceiling getting lost in my thoughts.

Maddy was distant and didn't give me any warm feelings that I craved to feel from her. I missed her so much and I yearned for her touch. But the worst thing was I couldn't get near her even if I wanted to. It was like a pull and push game.

When I was away from her all I did was think about her and replay all our memories. When that happened I would want to see her or would want to talk to her. But when I got near her I felt like I was with a stranger, like… like I have to keep a safe distance not to make her feel uncomfortable, or maybe it could be the discomfort I felt when I tried to get near her?

Anyway this whole relationship thing confused me a lot. I didn't know who Maddy was anymore and how I felt about her change.

Was it because she lost her twin? Or as she said, did she really believe that I had something to do with her sister's death? Or was it the weather? Maybe I was giving too much thought into it? Urgh! Or maybe I was finally losing my mind!

I got up from the couch and took off my coat. I remembered the Memory card Lyla gave me and it was inside that coat pocket. I left it there and walked towards Maddy's room.

I remembered that I had met Maddy when I was young. I wanted to ask her about that, but now wasn't a good time. I didn't know why she kept it from me. And I didn't think she made a promise to my mom either. Or maybe she didn't remember me?

I opened the door to Maddy's room and walked inside. I switched on the light and looked around, surprised to see how her room looked untouched. I took a step back. What was this ominous feeling I felt?

I quickly walked out, closing the door behind. I could hear the shower running in the bathroom that was in front of Megan's room and I stared at the door at the end of the hall. My feet took me there before I realised and I stood in front of Megan's room clutching the door handle tightly. Without giving any thought I pushed the handle down and entered Megan's room.

I switched on the light and stood in the doorway. I didn't know why I came inside in the first place, but since I was already here I thought I should look around. I had never been to her room before and I wanted to see if any of her things could give me any clues about her unstable mentality.

The lighting didn't give enough light to brighten the room. It focused in the centre hiding its corners in the darkness. The windows were closed too and thick curtains hung in front of them to stop any light coming inside. The room was cold and I shivered as a very unsettling feeling entered my mind. While Maddy's room gave more of a warm welcomed feeling, Megan's room gave the feeling of being trapped and suffocated. I felt like I entered some predator's den and it was looking at me from a dark corner while I tried so hard to find a way out.

Involuntarily I took a step back not wanting to spend another second in this room. I still couldn't believe that awkward innocent looking girl killed two people and killed herself. But her room gave the vibe of her mentality. Dark and mysterious!

I gave one last look around the room. The more my eyes adjusted to the darkness the more I recognised the things around me. There was a book rack on one side and a bed on the other side. I also could see a desk facing the wall on the opposite side of me.

I saw something big hang on the wall near that desk. I couldn't see what it was exactly but my curiosity picked up. Even though my mind screamed at me to get out, I walked towards that desk and turned on the desk lamp on the side. I turned it upwards to get a good look at the thing that hung on the wall...

I took a step back horrified. Never in my life have I ever expected to see something like this. It was a board filled with photos of various people including me and Maddy's group of friends. She had scratched out Vera's face in each photo. I recognised her because of Justin who stood next to her. Next photo was mine. It had two pins pinned on my eyes like she wanted to blind me by doing that. Most of our group photos were here and in all of them either faces were scratched or crossed out.

God! What kind of person Megan was? Should I be happy that she was finally gone?

I turned the lamp's head towards the desk and looked around. Her desk had only a few books and I took several books out to see what was written inside. First few books were school work books and they were too scribbled with some unrecognisable things. For some reason the last book I picked up took an interest in me. When I opened it some photos fell out and I picked them up curiously.

They were photos from Maddy's and Megan's childhood. In each photo they were always together wearing matching outfits and hairstyles. I couldn't even tell who was who. They looked very identical and when they wore the same outfits like this, it was very hard to tell them apart. But there were some other photos with them in different moods.

Most of them were group photos or other children playing in the background while the twins watched. In those photos one of the twins looked sad and lonely while the other glared. I could tell from those expressions that Maddy was the one with a sad face. As Dr. Scott said these photos showed how much Maddy wanted to blend in and get to know other children other than her sister. 

I put them on the desk and turned the pages of the book. I was shocked to see Maddy's handwriting inside that book. Megan had tried very hard to copy her handwriting including her signature. But I must say she was successful because on the last pages they looked like Maddy had written them by herself.

Was Megan so obsessed with Maddy, that she wanted their hand writing to be identical too? 

Urgh! I couldn't imagine the pressure Maddy felt while living with Megan. No wonder she wanted to get rid of her.

I put the book and the photos back and searched the desk drawers. I knew what I was doing was wrong and if Maddy caught me like this I wouldn't know what to say. But my instincts told me something was wrong and what it was, I have yet to find.