Chapter 49

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Hanalee pov

I know what it feels like

What it feels like to have no one

I lie on my bed at my home crying

Because I know what it feels like

I feel it now

At first you won't notice , you'll get by with just the people that are around you , but then it hits you....it hits you hard, because you realize that even though all these people are around you and they think they understand ,...that they will never truly understand,....and I think that's what hurts the most ......,

Knowing I'm alone and no one will ever understand ...
And knowing there is nothing I can do about it

Taylor pov

We brought home Hana (short for hanalee) today. she didn't really talk even though I attempted to talk to her , the doctors said she would be distant for awhile. when we got home she immediately went up to her room ad locked the door , I would have been worried but Mathew and jack went through he room and took out any sharp objects or anything that she could use to hurt herself , we didn't want to but ..doctors orders....,
We also have to watch her when she has to shower so she doesn't drown herself or try to cut herself while shaving , not like literally watch her but be In The bathroom , like she will shut the curtain and we have to sit on the floor in the bathroom and talk with her and make sure she is ok, Mathew said he would do it since it's his twin so it won't be weird or anything ,

Hana had been In her room all day , and I had a feeling that maybe I should just go check on her , but Mathew told us she needs her space and I respect that...but something is nagging at the back of my mind telling me that she needs me ,

But what if she pushes me away,

I couldn't handle that

I mean she never SAID she forgave me and jack after what happened in the hospital room, but I kinda assumed she did,
Maybe I should go check on her
But Mathew will get angry , I need to get my mind off of Hana
I'll go out , I grab my shoes by the door and slip them on along with my car keys , I hop in my lambo and just drive ....I'm not sure where I'm going yet but I'll go somewhere , anywhere.

Hanalee pov

It hurts

My head hurts and I don't know why
At first I thought it was a headache but it doesn't feel like a headache , it feel like someone is squeezing my head and won't stop , I lie on my back and close my eyes trying to ease the pain but it's not going anywhere , I start to feel dizzy , but the pain still doesn't go away , the first time I felt this pain was when I woke up after screaming at Taylor and jack , that's why I haut dismissed it as a headache but now ....i don't know.
I decided to just try to take a nap
Maybe it was side affects from the medicine
Maybe I was overthinking and my brain is too overloaded , I stand up an instantly fall back down ,

My legs are numb

I start crying and my vision gets blurry

But not from tears
I can't see anything
Everything is black

"HELP ME!!HELP ME!!HELP ME!!" I try screaming but my hearing is messing up so I'm not sure if it was loud or not

It's like all my senses are just giving out
My hands start to tingle and suddenly there is no feeling in them, unlike my legs I can still move my hands But I don't feel anything being done to them. I try to pinch my hands and my legs but no feeling returns
there is only one option left

"JACK!!"
I scream his name because I know no matter how much we fight and hate him , he will always care for me , he doesn't think I know it but I know that he comes into my room every night and kisses me goodnight on The forehead an says sweet dreams

I hear footsteps running up the stairs and I now they belong jacks

"OH MY GOD, HANALEE ARE YOU OK"

I try to respond back by my voice is not working

"Hanalee, talk the me" I hear jack say , he is crying by now and there is nothing I can do about it

I'm sorry jack

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