Pt 2 Ch 5

765 49 7
                                    

George POV
Clay was sitting next to me, rambling about some game he'd recently got into called Minecraft. I sighed as I took a bite of my turkey sandwich, one hour into this and I was slowly descending into madness. Sadly, Clay was far too cute for me to ask him to stop. I turned to the sound of his voice and offered him one of my chips. I felt his fingers gently brush mine as he took it from me. God his hands are so soft. I shook the thought out of my head and went back to my sandwich. My crush on Clay had made me incredibly soft these days. Even my dog had noticed the change, confidently cuddling with me without worrying I'd push him away as I usually did. He was curled by my side right now as a matter of fact, the soft feeling of his breath on my thigh soothing me in a way. Dumb dog. I involuntarily found myself smiling. I was after all surrounded by my two favorite idiots right now. Clay tapped me gently "You there George? You seem kinda out of it. I can stop rambling now if I'm annoying you" I could practically hear the nervous frown in his voice. I reached up and cupped his soft cheek, trying my best to give him a reassuring smile. I could hear his breath hitch, giggling to myself at the sound. He was an idiot, but he was my idiot.
I just don't know how to tell him.
Is he even gay?
Ugh this shit is so complicated.
I know I'm by no means pretty, or skinny, or funny, or smart but I just want to be someone special to someone. I want to be loved. I'm so sick and tired of being someone's last pick. I'm not someone people want, I'm someone people resort to for convenience. I wish I could say it didn't hurt but it really fucking does. I want to be someone's favorite person. I wish I could be special.
The thing is... Clay really does make me feel special.
But what if it's just what I want to feel? What if it's all in my head? Fuck this.
"Clay. I like you."

Author's Note
Hey gays, kinda just feel like writing in first person from now on, it makes the characters feel more honest and real in a way to me, hope you guys like it! Stay safe and happy loves <33
- Concernedsoup

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