The Kook vs The Pogue • JIARA•

17

JJ's POV:

Kie left with Rafe and I ended up walking back home. I will never understand what she sees in Rafe fucking Cameron. I know she feels bad when he talks to me like that and it isn't her fault. The girl I was with was just a hook-up and I could care less about her. I only cared about Kie. I tried so hard not to care about her but from day one, I wanted more.

Then prom night happened and when I brought her to that spot, I never intended for things to go that far. I never planned on having sex with her. We just started making out and it felt so right. I've never felt that with any girl before. She slept in my arms all night long. I woke up and I never wanted that moment to end, but of course, it had to because she had a boyfriend. She freaked out and who could blame her.

Thankfully, we made up and we had a ton of fun just hanging out. John B couldn't believe what happened and he was so jealous of our friendship. He was totally crushing on Kie's best friend, Sarah Cameron but she's with Rafe jr - Topper.

I just felt so comfortable around Kie. I have never felt so safe around anyone before. My mom took off when I was a child and my dad was a total monster. I never grew up with that comfort that Kie provided me with. I craved that comfort and that love I felt from her. Not love like that, just that safe feeling.

Then there was that incident in the supply closet at the Wreck. I didn't plan on kissing her when I pulled her in there. It just happened and she was the one who kissed me. Once the kiss started, it was like our lips were magnets and we wouldn't pull away. I wanted more. I wanted her. All of her again. But she was with Rafe and I mean seriously, I had a girl with me and I still did that. I was never one to cheat but I couldn't help it.

These thoughts were running through my head as I walked back home and I couldn't help but think of that stupid promise ring. He probably gave it to her to make sure she doesn't leave him. Who am I kidding? She will never leave him. She loves him. She will never love me. I'm just a stupid pogue from the cut.

Then Rafe's words echoed in my head. I was worthless. That night that we got into that fight, my dad picked me up from the local police station and he hit me with that right jab in the truck. I thought that was painful, but when we got home it only got worse. He practically beat me to death. This was the worse fight I've ever been in.

He almost killed me and I let him. My body was bleeding, bruised, and in so much pain. He tried choking me telling me I'd be better off dead, that my mom hated me, that I ruined his life, how worthless I was, and how no one could ever love me. I passed out on the kitchen floor and woke up in a pile of blood. I thought I was dying, I got up and took off on my own for a few days.

I was beaten up pretty badly by Rafe and my dad. I just wanted Kie. I thought about going to her house or texting her but it wasn't a good idea. I went to some old abandoned building and spent a few days there. I craved Kie and her gentleness. I've never let anyone touch my body the way I let her touch me. She kissed every bruise and every scar.

I got home and of course, my dad was drunk and he came up and punched me. This time I fought back and locked myself in my small bedroom. I put my dresser in front of the door for an extra layer of protection and I laid in my bed crying. I hated my life. I hated my dad. I was starting to believe everything I had been told. And you know the most pathetic part? I was in love with a girl who could never love me back.

This was the first time I admitted it to myself. I was in love with Kie and I've never been in love before. I never wanted to fall in love with anyone but this just happened and I have no control. I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I was going to drive myself crazy.

I went to John B's and I grabbed a beer and smoked a J. He came outside and asked, "Dude, what the hell is up with you?"

"I'm in love with her" I said as I inhaled and I was feeling much more relaxed

"We know" Pope said behind John B

"So what do I do?" I asked

"You do nothing, she's with Rafe. You can't ruin her relationship. If you love her, her happiness is what should matter" Pope said

"Oh no, fuck that! That's your girl man, if you love her, fight for her" John B said

Oh, Pope the angel on one shoulder and John B the devil on the other. I looked at them and I said, "I can't get in another fight with Rafe"

"So hang out with Kie and don't let Rafe find out"

"I don't want to be the guy she sneaks around with. I want to take her out to dinner, I want to meet her parents, I want to be her boyfriend"

"Holy shit, who is this new JJ?" Pope asked

I just laughed and John B said, "She brings out the best in him"

"I'll make you a deal... I'll fight for Kie if you fight for Sarah"

John B turned bright red and he denied any feelings for her. We all knew he was lying.

"I'm not going to fight for a girl who doesn't love me. She loves Rafe. If she really loved me, she would have ended things with him. She knows I like her. So can we please just get drunk tonight?"

The boys each cracked open a beer and we started drinking. It helped take all my pain away.