take me home, philza craft. |♡ranboo adoption angst♡|

6: Sensitive.

Little TW for this chapter: throwing up, self harm, Relapsing.

I'll put a tw for where it starts and where it ends!!

Ranboo POV:

I awaken once again in the middle of the night, the familiar sound of wind blowing outside my window annoyingly. Aimsey and bill supposedly left after i fell asleep, since all their stuff was gone and they left a little note: 

school starts in a week, had to get ready early so we left :) btw philza told us he's planning to get you to go school as well, if you're okay with it!! we'll see you supposedly next week at school, or after school ~bill and aimsyeye  >:)

Ah yeah that makes sense, its the end of August, school starts soon after now- wait. PHIL WANTS TO SEND ME TO SCHOOL- Oh my god.

I sit up immediately, throat closing as i feel the familiar rise of anxiety burst into my chest.

TW!! IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO WHAT I MENTIONED ABOVE, SKIP THIS PART UNTIL IT SAYS TW OVER!!

Running to the bathroom, i lock the door behind me and proceed to lean over the too-familiar toilet bowl. 

I close my eyes as i puke into the toilet, my tired body not able to hold myself up properly. I've taught myself how to throw up silently, since i was a child.

I feel tears stream down my face, slightly burning the ender side of my face as i hurry to grab the knife.

I havent done this in so, so long... I was one month clean.

I feel the stream of sadness run down my veins, heart dropping in my chest. Its too late to go back now.

As i disinfect the knife and press it up to my thighs, the only spot that no one will see them, 

TW OVER, FAINT MENTIONS OF KNIVES BUT NO MORE AFTER THIS PART!!

i hear the familiar voice of my mother speaking to me from above. 

"We're disappointed in you."

The words that made it all stop. Everything was in slow-mo. I fell backwards onto the counter, head hitting the side. 

I disappointed them.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I hear my bedroom door open from afar and scramble up, putting the knife back where it originally was and rolling my shorts down.

"Ranboo? Are you okay in there?" I hear wilbur's voice speak up from outside the bathroom and i quickly unlock it, stepping out.

I see a tired wilbur, wrapped in a blanket and holding out a mug of chocolate milk to me. "I heard a bang from here, i wanted to make sure you were alright, i didnt mean to intrude." He says slowly, yawning. My heart warms slightly from the thought that he came from his room, just to check if i was okay.

I take the chocolate milk and lightly set it on my nightstand. "Yeah no im okay, i just fell in the bathroom!" I say, trying to sound like i wasnt just trying to hurt myself all because of school.

But Wilbur was unimpressed. "I dont want to push for answers Ran', im just trying to make sure you're okay. If you're really okay than fine, and im sorry for intruding so much, but if you're not, then.." he turns to face the door. "I'm always here to talk. I dont sleep at night anyways, im a phantom." He flashes a small smile at me and starts to leave, but..

I grab his arm, looking down at him. He smiles and looks to me with understanding written all over his face.

"Fine, ill tell you some of what happened." I mutter quietly, face light pink. Wilbur nods and sits down on my bed, just quietly listening.