The Munson Experience

"So you're neither, right?"

Written for the non-binary folks out there who could always use a kind a word and a good ending from their comfort character✨

My stomach was in knots as I walked up the steps to Eddie's trailer. Lately I've been feeling kind of uncomfortable with the way people view me and I finally learned on a trip to California last summer that non-binary people exist.

Like in our small town that idea is NOT accessible and I've definitely heard of it online but never in real life. I mean I guess I knew they existed but I didn't fully know what that meant until our vacation last summer to San Francisco.
After seeing so many people with the coolest styles and the nicest personalities and the really genuine insight they offered to anyone curious about how they figured out for themselves that they were non-binary, I realized I might be too.

Now obviously I'm not just gonna come out and say that in this town. At least not until I'm confident enough in my identity that I won't spiral at the words of people trying to discredit me. But I felt ready to tell some of my friends after about a year of privately identifying as non-binary and Eddie was kinda the first person I thought of telling.

So now here I was at his doorstep, feeling genuinely anxious to talk to him for the first time in my life. I had to tell him though. I mean I didn't but I wanted to. Eddie's my best friend and I can't really imagine keeping this important part of myself secret from him.
Plus I'd already put it off coming out to myself for a few months at the beginning of my journey and remembering how shitty it felt keeping myself purposefully in the dark about who I was made me anxious to tell someone now that I was sure. Even if only Eddie knew for the rest of my life I'd be okay with that.
But I know that means I have to tell him first.

He's the sweetest guy I know in his own rough-around-the-edges kinda way and I really really really hoped he'd be okay with it. If he wasn't then I'm not sure what I would do. It's part of me now and I don't wanna push that part of my identity away again just to cling to a somewhat normal life but...at least my "normal" life included friends who liked me and parents who weren't disappointed by me.
Negative self talk doesn't do anything other than psych you out though so shut up and do it already.
"Hey Munson? I'm here bestie," I called.
He walked out of his room and barreled towards me.
"You know I hate that nickname, y/n."
He was almost to me and I laughed, sidestepping him as he tumbled onto the couch without me in his clutches. He immediately sat up and looked at me impressed as he blew a strand of hair out of his mouth.
"Did you just dodge my Ozzy?"
I held up an 'L' with my hand and he grabbed my wrist, yanking me onto the couch.
"Oh you should not have done that, y/n."
He bent his arm and patted his elbow twice before jumping on top of me like a pro wrestler.
I rolled away before he could made contact with my ribs and got up to flee.
"Hey quit dodging me, you little shit," he protested.
Eddie recovered quickly however and grabbed me by the shoulders, throwing me back onto the couch before sitting on me with his full body weight.
I struggled to get out from under him but he was actually kinda strong unfortunately and with his knees pinning my arms underneath him, I knew surrender was my only chance of escape.
"Okay okay you win! I surrender!"
Eddie laughed and pumped his fist in the air.
"Victory really is the sweetest thing in life, isn't it?"
I wiggled to try and throw him off but he balanced himself out again and pretended to land fake blows to my head.
"See if this were real," he tapped my temple with his fist, "you'd be fucked right about now. What did I say about never giving the enemy your back? You leave yourself open to attacks..."
"And lose the advantage of sight blah blah yeah I know."
Eddie smirked and crossed his arms.
"Doesn't look like it."
I scoffed and wiggled again. He laughed and pumped his hands again victoriously, pretending to wave to a fake crowd.
"You hear that? That's the sound of my adoring fans boo-ing you for being a sore loser. Now quit squirming kid and let me have my moment."
I rolled my eyes as Eddie continued to address his pretend fans in the audience and slowly felt my throat tighten.
I'm gonna miss this so fucking much if things go wrong here today. So fucking much.
But if he understands? I'll be so fucking happy. Happier than I've been my whole life and I want that chance...I just have to be willing to take it.