All About You

Chapter Twenty Nine

Present

I run my fingers over the edges of the letters and take a deep, steady breath. I don't know if I'm ready to go through with this. I should feel relief that I can finally get rid of that secret, but the truth is I'm petrified.

Oliver might hate me for this. He might not get why it took me over two years to tell him the truth. He's making plans for Saturday night and our relationship has grown so much. I know he hasn't stopped loving me because I feel the same way. He's planning to tell me all this during dinner. The past is behind us and we're ready to move on.

I squeeze the letters tightly and shove them into my bag. Oliver should know the truth by Tuesday.

There is never a right moment to share your worst nightmare with the love of your life, but I can't keep this away from him any longer. He has truly forgiven now, and after he reads the letters, he should be able to forget about my cruelty.

The walk to the post office is short, but before I push the letters into the post box, I stand there wondering yet again if I'm ready for what's next. My mind starts racing, going through a number of different scenarios, but I don't want to keep doing this to myself. It's time to finally put that nightmare behind me. It's time to be happy, so I push the letters through the tiny space. Now there is no turning back.

I never imagined I would be doing this. After Oliver left Gargle, I could barely function. I felt like my life was over, and although that monster was dead, I didn't see the point of being alive. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because every time, I remembered his wild eyes and that stick. It took me over a year to pull myself together, to have the desire to live again.

When I arrived in Braxton, I thought the past was behind me and I could just move on. It turns out we never know what kind of surprises life can unfold before us. I never expected to see Oliver again, but there he was, waiting for that moment since I turned my back on him.

When Saturday night rolls in, I feel like I can finally breathe. The heavy secret that has been around me for years is gone. Christian soon won't matter. Nothing stands between our happiness.

"So, have you decided what you're going to wear?" Dora leans against the doorframe, watching me carefully.

"My red dress, the one you like," I reply, finishing my eye shadow. She grins, knowing how special this dinner is for both of us. Jacob's staying in my apartment with Dora so we have Oliver's room to ourselves. If anyone would have told me a year ago that I would be this excited about sex with Oliver Morgan, I don't think I'd have believed it.

"So, this is it? The end of the probation period for both of you?"

"Yeah, next... well, there won't be many secrets between us," I say, knowing I have to mention Christian at some point during dinner. Oliver should know I sent him letters.

"I'm assuming you're going to tell him about Christian?"

Dora can read me so well.

"Yes, I think it's time. I don't need to pretend anymore. We're together and even Christian won't tear us apart."

"It's nice to see you happy for a change."

"Yeah, it's odd. I'm always the one that keeps encouraging you."

Dora laughs and then tells me not to hold anything back and to enjoy the evening. I finish my makeup, put on my dress, and look at myself in the mirror. Tonight it's all about us, and that comfortable joy settles back in my stomach.

"You look hot!" announces Dora when I emerge from my room. Oliver's already in the living room. When his eyes rest on my body, I flush. He drinks me in for several more moments and all of a sudden, the desire builds up.