Shut Up and Review

#1 Blank Slates

You have a wonderful way of telling a story. Your cover and title seem to match the story I read. You also have the same issue I do with my writing of switching tense mid sentence. To some, this will prevent them from continuing to read your story. There were a couple of minor grammar errors beyond this. Such as: the two girls shut off the he lights and exited the room. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, mixing with he blood and sweat already coating her face. Mixing should become mixed, the first he should vanish, while the second should become the. Personally, began to stream should get replaced with streamed. It makes a more powerful statement.

Your Prologue failed to get me emotionally involved in Lia or Jace. Given this might be the only thing a reader might read, you need to get them hooked. You state there was a friendship with Sarin and leave it dangling. You failed to state why they were running or what caused the building debris to land on Lia. What they are thinking is just as important as what they do to grab your readers within the first few sentences.

I assumed 101505A is the baby from the prologue. If so, you should explicitly state this. It is better to state obvious facts than leave your readers guessing. You mentioned the Home and the scare, but never enlighten the readers about it. You do not need to go into tons of details now, whether or not you are planning to do so later, but you should give enough to hint at them. For example, his rough hand traced the whip scar that cut across the side of her neck. "I don't want to talk about the Home. All I'm going to say is that I got in trouble a lot there too." Just the mention of that place brings up all the punishments she suffered there.
Overall, you impressed me with imagination used to create this world. I felt emotionally attached to 101505A. I will probably continue reading this story.